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I’m noticing some really strange symptoms all of the sudden. The tips of my ears are slightly pointed. This seems really odd. Just came out of nowhere. In addition to that, I’m noticing a few hairs growing in on my forehead. It’s the weirdest thing.

But strangest of all is that I saw a friend of mine today, and instead of giving him a normal greeting I just couldn’t resist the urge to sniff his hiney.

I’m a, I’m a…

OOOWWWWWolfman!!!!!

Ha, ha.

Okay I did have a little bit of headache today, but all else seems Jim Dandy. Even running up this big hill didn’t noticeably make my heart pound, which is a first since my FUMParoodling began.

My skin is so awesome though. It makes a baby’s derriere feel like Chuck Norris’s chin in comparison.

Now for a brief discussion of up and down regulation, because I find it to be one of the most interesting concepts that everyone should know so they understand how their body works…

Your body has hormones and neurotransmitters. Each one of those biochemicals depends on a complementary receptor site to fulfill its communication. Since the body is an equilibrium machine, the balance between receptor sites and the amount of any particular body chemical does a little dance.

Take, for example, serotonin. If you spike serotonin through the roof, and there are a number of ways to do that but drugs are certainly the most powerful means of getting you there, namely X, as in Xstasy, then your body compensates by shutting down serotonin receptors to keep from upsetting the communication balance. And this is why anything with a drug-like effect becomes habit-forming…

When you have a normal amount of any chemical, you have a normal amount of open receptor sites. If you spike a body chemical, and receptor sites shut down, when your levels of that chemical return to normal you don’t have the same amount of the functioning chemical because there are less receptor sites to pick it up. To feel normal, you must get the level of that biochemical ABOVE normal. Over time, the more you spike the chemical, the more receptor sites shut down, and the more drug you have to consume just to feel normal, much less high. When you have normal levels of the biochemical in your body, because you have shut down so many receptor sites (downregulation), you feel god awful and instinctually crave substances that your body intuitively knows will make it feel normal again. And the cycle continues.

This is precisely why a 12-ounce Coke has suddenly morphed into a 44-ounce Coke during my lifetime. To raise serotonin and beta-endorphin levels high enough to achieve normalcy, the hit of drug-like sugar and caffeine in a liquid form must reach ever-greater heights. And it just keeps going, and going, and going…

So know this. Anything that makes you feel high is also precipitating you feeling bad later on. If something relieves pain, you will feel extra pain later on. If something gives you energy, you will feel extra tired later on. If something takes your troubles away, you’ll have extra troubles later on. If something makes you think really positive thoughts, you’ll think extra negative ones later on. And now brace yourself for a sensationalized quasi-spiritual statement…

As some smart guy once said, “The will of God is equilibrium.” We live in a world of synergistic balance between diametrically-opposed functions. It can be witnessed from a subatomic level to a universal level. Not something to feel bummed out about – that you can’t live happily ever after without complementary lows that is, but a magnificent expression of the universe in which the material we are made out of is forged. Not depressing, but neat rather.

And that’s what I’m watching out for on this diet. As a general rule, anything that makes you feel too damn good is overstimulating something within your body and is instigating counter-regulatory forces that you’ll face down the line. It might fool me for quite some time that what I’m doing is the answer to my prayers, but if I eat some carbs I’ll probably instantly run into withdrawal symptoms from the chemicals that are being overstimulated by this carbless fare. Instead of being in a freakishly good mood, mentally sharp, energized, and free of physical pain like I have been since FUMP Day 1, I will feel terrible – the opposite of the above-listed traits, as my adrenal hormone and associated neurotransmitters return to normal (I’ll feel below normal because receptor sites will have been downregulated).

Currently, my levels of beta-endorphin and norepinephrine are definitely higher than normal. My vision is so clear and focused it’s surreal, like anyone’s vision gets during an adrenaline rush. For those who argue that what I’m experiencing isn’t so, or can be attributed to something else, I feel confident that you are wrong. It is impossible to feel like this without an elevation of the biochemicals responsible for those characteristics.

Not that this is a sign of doom. It just is. I’m reluctant to get excited just because I feel good. It would take months or more to come to any real conclusion about the relative merits and downfalls of following such a diet.

We’ll hit upregulation tomorrow if I’m up for it.