If Nutritionists Were Mechanics 2

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By Jenny Allan

*The Weight Watchers Mechanic*

Customer: Hi my car isn’t working as well as it used to. I used to be able to use any kind of fuel and have no problems, but lately things have been sluggish and heavy when I put my foot on the gas.

The Weight Watchers Mechanic:  Your car naturally will see increasingly poor performance as you get older. Have you signed up for our special support group for cars that are thirty years old? It’s great fun, it doesn’t cost much (unless you have the ability to add your monthly bills together, which is NOT recommended) and will get your car back on track to self-esteem. Remember your car’s lifestyle needs to change. Permanently. It is sluggish and heavy because you are putting in too much gasoline. We recommend you put in only a half tank of gas for the remainder of your car’s life. We have two programs for this. One is a points system that will let you use any kind of fuel you like as long as you don’t exceed half a tank, while making you think you are getting more by giving you less than half a tank and then giving you bonus points to make up the rest. The other is the core program which lets you fill up the tank but only with our special, highly-processed, low fat, high-fiber fuel. If you experience problems with your fuel injection or exhaust clogging from using this fuel, please try not to talk about it with your support group. You’ll just lower their self-esteem.

Customer: Gee, my car is running better now, I’m getting the results I hoped for. But I need to make a long road trip, can I go ahead and fill up the tank?

WWM: No. You have to fuel this way for the remainder of your car’s life.

(A few months later)

Customer: After initial gains, I’ve notice a plateau in my car’s performance. I can’t even fill it halfway before it gets back that old sluggish and heaviness problem only now it’s even worse. Also my injectors and exhaust have clogged up on both the core and the points plan.

WWM: If you experience problems it is because you put too much fuel in the tank. Are you sure you weighed and measured everything you put in? Remember this is a lifestyle change. You have to fuel your car this way forever. Here, talk to our life long member who has reached her goal of perfect car performance and therefore doesn’t have to pay for her support group any more.

Lifetime Member: This is a lifestyle change. Did you change your lifestyle? Did you accidentally call it a diet instead of lifestyle? Can you honestly say you’ve been focused and ON PLAN every minute of every day?

Customer: Um, no, er, I mean, I guess I might have messed up somewhere. But really, it feels like I’m putting in less fuel in the tank. I’ve been running my car more and more so that I can add more fuel, but even that isn’t working anymore.

WWM: Ah therein lies the problem. You are using your car too much. You need to use your car some, but not too much. Also make sure the wiper fluid is topped off. It makes the car think it is full, so that it is tricked into running better. Just remember to stay on plan and talk to your support group if you think you might need help staying focused. Also, we have been meaning to talk to you about that credit card you gave us when you first signed up. Can you just give us access to your bank account instead?

Lifetime Member: Don’t worry, someday you won’t have to pay!

Customer: Um, aren’t you a different person than was here a while ago?

Lifetime Member: Oh, that lifetime member lost FOCUS, fell off plan, started using too much fuel and dropped out. Don’t worry, she’ll be back (and paying again, by the way). Meanwhile, I’m here for you and all your lifestyle questions…

*Burn The Fat Feed the Muscle Mechanic*

Customer: My current car is ok, but I’ve always dreamed of a muscle car. Is there some way I can turn my 89 Toyota into a 68 Mustang?

Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle Mechanic: There sure is! Just download my e-book and pay me a monthly installment for access to my website to find out.

Customer: I’ve downloaded the ebook. It really is detailed and that’s nice. It’s taken me a while to do the homework to figure out how much fuel to use, how often and what combinations are OK, but I think I’m getting the hang of it. I think I’m ready to begin exercising my car to make it a lean mean muscle machine!

BFFM Mechanic: You will need to run your car a lot. Every single day in fact. You will need long, hard trips that burn fuel steadily and short trips up high hills that use a lot of gas.

Customer: But with all these extra trips, won’t I need more fuel than you are recommending?

BFFM Mechanic: You need to learn to go outside of your comfort zone. Are you afraid of running out of gas? Of breaking down? You need to listen to my hour-long motivational tapes that will help you overcome that fear and make your car the best it can be. Here, talk to some of my cadre of professional dieters, I mean body builders who’ve managed to transform their sagging old heaps into vintage muscle Gods and Goddesses by following my plan.

Vintage Muscle Goddess #1: Dude! You need to get ripped! Eat clean! Shred Hard! Kowabunga! Wacka, wacka, wacka wacka. Also try putting in more highly processed whey powder into the oatmeal you put into your car seven times a day at precise intervals. It is so clean it will make muscles burst forth out of that rusty old chasis. Woooooooo! Boooyah!

Customer: Look, it’s not just a fear of running out of gas. I literally ran out of gas and had to walk home. I missed a whole morning of work and now my boss is mad at me. Not to mention my family is tired of me getting up 5:30 a.m. to start the car and leaving every couple of hours to add fuel. It’s driving them nuts.

Super vintage god #1: Woah dude, don’t blow a gasket! Like, relax. You need to get out of that comfort zone. Whatever doesn’t kill your car makes it stronger. Sounds like your family and your boss are negative influences. Have you tried replacing them with motivational tapes, like we have? Cowabunga dude! Shred hard!

*Weston A. Price Mechanic*

Customer: How can I use fuel to make sure my car never breaks down?

Weston Price Mechanic: First of all forget everything you think you know about fuel. Everything that’s been told to you is a lie, a conspiracy as a part of corporations to make money. The fuels they told you were harmful are actually good for you.

Customer: Wow, that is really good information. Also, I read your 800 page tome on vitamins and nutritional perfection, and I’m really excited by the possiblity that all disease might be prevented simply by getting enough of the right kind of foods and avoiding food that is bad for me.

WAP Mechanic: Really, is that what you got from that? Hmmm. maybe we need a new edition. No, what you were supposed to take away is that you need make sure that all your gasoline is soaked for 12 hours before you put it in your car to eliminate harmful acids in it. Never heard of those acids? Well that’s part of the conspiracy. While you’re in the garage soaking fuel, make sure you ferment all the vegetables put in the tank so that they contain lactic acid which will help keep your car perfect forever.

Customer: That sounds a little wacky. What about just eating a lot of foods that aren’t processed and avoiding the bad fats which you’ve successfully convinced me are causing disease?

WAP Mechanic: What are you a slave to the conspiracy! Put some raw milk in your tank and call me in the morning.

Customer: That raw milk made my car sicker than ever.

WAP Mechanic: Have you thought about asking God to help you with this problem?

Customer: Yes, I did that already. I asked God to explain to me again how sugar is the root of all evil and yet it’s OK to eat it as long as it’s not processed.

WAP Mechanic: Any feedback on that? We’d be interested to hear because we are editing a new edition of our manual, New and Improved with even more desserts!

(Some time later)

Customer: I replaced all my car’s oil with coconut oil, topped off the gas tank with only gasoline that’s been soaked or fermented and tried shoving raw milk in there as well. I even asked God, what to do. I’m still having problems.

WAP Mechanic: Clearly your car’s problems require more than just a fuel adjustment. Try steeping the entire thing in a poultice of cod liver oil for a week. That fixes everything!

*Ray Peat: Auto Mechanic*

Customer: My car’s performance is terrible. It’s broken all the time. Please help?

Ray Peat: Your thermostat is broken. It is a little known, but well researched (by me!) fact that all of a car’s mechanical problems are caused by a broken thermostat. You need to put some dessicated pig brain in the tank, as well as a gallon of orange juice and ice cream every day and never, ever even look at polyunsaturated fat. It killed the dinosaurs.

Customer: OK, I’m doing that stuff, but my car is still not fixed.

Ray Peat: Try putting in 2 ounces of coffee every three hours in the tank. Not one ounce every two hours, or three ounces every hour! That will make the engine explode.  I also suggest painting naked ladies in your spare time.

Customer: That is soooo random. But I will try it because I think you must have some mystical power and you are at least answering my emails.

Ray Peat: Oh, I forgot to tell you not to put any juice in the car at the same time you use meat. You can get too much iron that way.

Customer: Excuse me sir you are insane.

*Matt Stone: Auto Mechanic*

Customer: All the other auto mechanics I’ve been to have ruined my car. Please help give me free advice or I will mock you in anonymous comments. Also, I think you are full of shit, but I still want the free advice which I will not actually follow through on, but freak out at the slightest sign of trouble, using that as further reason to mock you in anonymous comments.

Matt: OK, I’ll bite. Put in lots of fuel, as much as it will hold and don’t let the level drop too low or it will clog your injectors. Don’t put in highly synthesized fuel and drugs that will effect your engine’s performance and ruin your exhaust. Don’t run the car too hard until you get the car’s performance sorted. Don’t obsess about combinations of fuels or additives or assume any one brand of fuel is causing the problem. Just fuel the car!

Customer: Hey, I did that stuff and it’s working, but it’s kind of slow and my car isn’t winning any NASCAR trophies so it must be your fault.

Matt: Well try to keep it in perspective. Your car wasn’t broken in a day. It may take some time to fix. Maybe we should go over the specifics of your problems?

Customer: Nope. I want it fixed now. Or I’ll mock you with anonymous comments.

Matt: Hey. Here are some free fuel recipes and a bunch of new information on different mechanical problems. Maybe these will help?

Customer #2, probably same guy only has changed his name in order to keep receiving free advice that he won’t follow: Have you tried this insane, wacky system I heard about where you only put raw milk in the car and not run it for a month and it magically cures everything from rust on the bumper to a blown gasket? Will you do it for me and tell me what happens?

Matt: Yes, I will because I’m a little touched in the head. And for science of course.

Customers: Better you than us!!!!

Cheers and Happy new years,

Jenny the Nipper


  1. LMFAO

  2. that was great! i needed a good laugh.

  3. this had me grinning hard, Jenny :)

  4. LOL indeed!

    Though I'm not sure why "God" was involved in the WAPF analogy. What's up with that?


  5. Excellent post!

    Half way through the new ebook, awesome stuff Matt.

    The reference to 'Condorman', that brought back childhood memories!

  6. The WAPF has strong religious support and many unofficial ties. Part of that traditional American family ethic I think. I know a few whacked out fumdamentalist Christian WAPF chapter leaders. One even went on and on about Sandor Katz (fermentation dude) because he is gay.

    Hey, why don't you guys focus on the part of the Bible that says those that work on the Sabbath should be put to death in God's name?

  7. Brock was freaking out about Condorman too. I actually used to watch it on Betamax. Thanks for the thumbs up.

  8. Yep Betamax was the format at my home, along with ice cream, jello and sugarbombs to cure the flu!

  9. Matt Stone wrote:

    > Hey, why don't you guys focus on
    > the part of the Bible that says
    > those that work on the Sabbath
    > should be put to death in God's
    > name?

    Um, very simple.

    Because those guys aren't Jews.

    Followers of post-Christianity, Talmudic, Judaism don't want to accept that the Old Law was replaced by the New Law.

    Christians aren't bound by Old Testament laws, so death penalties, stonings, and such don't apply.

    Hopefully your nutritional observations and conclusions are not so flawed =)

  10. Sorry. I was under the impression that Christians thought the Bible was the word of God. Didn't realize they threw out the old God stuff and replaced it with the new stuff that accomodated their belief preferences, such as the belief that gay people choose to wanna hump members of the same sex, and are not born that way – and that counseling can fix it.

    Speaking of flawed observations and conclusions…

    • Aww come on Matt, I thought this was a happy, hold hands and sing Kumbaya community were all all welcome to believe, live, and eat as they want (as long as they aren’t low-carbers ;)) I have a lot of respect for you and like you a lot, but don’t alienate your Christian readers with the judgy stuff like that. Many of us are kind, non-judgmental, and actually follow the teachings of Jesus. Remember, for every wacko Christian there is a wacko Jew, Muslim, public school teacher, ballerina, and lesbian.

      • This is a comment thread from 3 years ago. There was one little thing Jenny put in there about the G.O.D. which led to quite devolution of the comments section. I don’t write stuff like that anymore on the blog or in the comments. It took a few threads like this to figure out why it’s not very productive.

    • I know this is an old comment thread. But, I saw the old/new testament conversation and I just had to straighten things out for future viewers. For anyone interested:

      1. The whole bible was made to point to Jesus. The old testament has Jesus hidden in the parables, the new testament has Jesus revealed.
      2. The old testament law was a mirror. It was designed to make you aware of your sin. Hence, why the old testament was so doom/gloom and death based.. ie/ homosexuals go to hell…etc etc. No grace. In fact the full law was so impossible in it standards that no one could keep it. Even the pharisees, were called ‘white washed tombs’ by Jesus. (it’s funny how gays get such flack, when ALL fall short of the glory of God.. all…of us are sinners)

      Now on to the new testament.. the cross.

      Jesus became the bridge.
      Where man failed to fulfill the law.. Jesus was 100 percent righteous. HE took the death sentence for all men. Though we would have been sentenced to hell. He took damnation for us. So through faith in his death, we are made righteous forever.

      This actually was the plan all along. Since the first sin, when God used the skins of an animal to cover Adam and Eve’s nakedness in the garden. Foreshadowing his plan to redeem us through sacrificing the true “lamb” of God. Even the Israelites of the old testament were commanded to sacrifice a lamb for their sins. (another foreshadowing of the lamb that will take away all sins)..Because no one could keep the law.

      Sorry to hash this up again but I see a lot of misunderstanding of the bible out there. Especially concerning old testament law. Even with Christians.
      And as for the homosexual thing. If they believe that Jesus fulfilled the law.. then they are made righteous. too.

  11. Not that I want to change the topic from religious beliefs and sexual orientation to something more contentious, like nutrition, but today's post is very funny. Thank you Jenny the Nipper!

    Thanks for taking one for the team, Matt! We appreciate your self experimentation.

  12. Love your come backs Matt! No one stands a chance up against you. I love it when some moron comes along to set you straight and you just open a can of verbal whoop ass on them!

  13. I put the God thing in there because in Nourishing Traditions, which is not exactly the WAPF bible, but is certainly their main informational output, there is a sentence asking you not to overlook the power of prayer in helping keep sugar out of your home and away from your family. This seemed totally wacky and out of left field in what is essentially a fortified cookbook. Working on the premise of comedic exaggeration, I took one small thing and blew it up. I didn't even know that a lot of WAPF chapter leaders were fundamentalists.

  14. > Matt Stone said…
    > Sorry. I was under the impression that Christians thought the Bible was
    > the word of God. Didn't realize they threw out the old God stuff and
    > replaced it with the new stuff that accomodated their belief preferences,
    > such as the belief that gay people choose to wanna hump members of the
    > same sex, and are not born that way – and that counseling can fix it.
    > Speaking of flawed observations and conclusions…

    If you can't take correction in a matter in which you are plainly wrong, how
    can people trust your conclusions in other matters?

    The Bible being the God's word doesn't negate the fact that what law God chose
    to lay down in the Old Testament cannot be replaced with a New Covenant later.
    That's just basic knowledge of Christianity.

    If you are going to tell Christians what they should or shouldn't do according
    to their own Faith, at least have the decency to admit when you are wrong about
    what the Faith entails.

    Hardly a flawed observation or conclusion on my part, sorry.

    Have a good day, Mr. Stone, and perhaps learn some humility.


  15. > Sorry. I was under the impression that Christians thought
    > the Bible was the word of God.

    That's right.

    > Didn't realize they threw out
    > the old God stuff and replaced it with the new stuff that

    No, "they" didn't. The New Testament explains that God
    introduced the New Covenant to supersede the Old Law in the
    Old Testament. It's part of the Bible itself, and not at
    the whim of some Protestants or anyone else.

    > accomodated their belief preferences, such as the belief
    > that gay people choose to wanna hump members of the same
    > sex, and are not born that way – and that counseling can fix
    > it.

    Despite the fact that this may make you or anyone else
    uncomfortable or even raving mad, it is part of the
    Bible, and not a new introduction of any man to suit their
    "belief preferences."

    See Genesis 18:20, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:27, 1
    Corinthians 9:9, and 1 Timothy 1:10.

    Homosexuality is wrong, and any Christian's support of the
    Bible's condemnation of one of the gravest of all sins is in
    no way a position contrary to the Bible.

    So, yes, you are wrong. You would do better to write about
    topics on which you have actually done some research.

  16. I've done plenty of research on life to formulate opinions on life and the Bible's applicability, and also the way in which many take things out of context and turn it into a crusade of self-righteousness. Self-righteousness being when you say "how I am is right," and "how Rue Paul and Elton John are wrong."

    Therein lies the problem with religion, and to a greater degree -fundamentalism. It ranks people, based on factors out of their control, into categories of superiority and inferiority, which is the foundation of conflict.

    Embracing physiological urges to eat to fullness or rest when tired are no different from urges to fornicate or take a dump. If you've researched one, you've researched the other. I do not support any deity whose creation gives rise to homosexuality and then condemns it. That's no different than littering the world with delicious food and then saying it's immoral to eat. There is complete incongruity there.

    When people believe that who they are and what they naturally and instinctually feel is wrong, there is repression. This leads to perversion and expression, which is not what the world is thirsty for more of.

    But you keep on telling those gays how wrong they are. See where that gets us as a society. Maybe urinate into the wind while you're at it.

    • Matt I totally understand what you are saying but I disagree. There are people who feel sexually attracted to small children and babies. They feel who they are is what we term “sexual abusers or molesters.” Exercising who they are with freedom and accepting who they are doesn’t make sense, the same could be said for people with the overwhelming urge to murder – they are out there, that is who they feel they are inside. It IS a physiological urge to exercise any perceived moral or immoral act. I don’t know how I feel about being gay – I am Catholic and it is taught against in our church – however I don’t go around condemning anyone or preaching to them. I try to accept and love them as I believe Jesus would do. “When people believe that who they are and what they naturally and instinctively feel is wrong, there is repression. This leads to perversion and expression, which is not what the world is thirsty for more of.” I certainly do hope that many people will work against what they instinctual and naturally feel they want to do, because that may mean some guy down the street wants to rape another person (man, woman or child) or take their cool stuff or food for themselves. INSTINCT is of the limbic brain and doesn’t actually use thought or intelligence!

      • Oh man, I just realized that was a really old post – I don’t mean to dig up a can of worms…

      • I would NEVER accept the behavior of another that would cause physical harm to another person INTENTIONALLY because they feel that is who they are instinctually and naturally. So I think the instinctual and natural argument is totally wrong without repression argument is wrong!

      • Whoa-Tonya, you really took it to a whole other level. What does natural, healthy instinctual urges such as hunger and sex have to do with child molestation and murder. To say that we cannot follow our normal, natural instincts b/c doing so we give the child molesters and the murderers justification to follow theirs is absolutely insane–crazy thinking. Sex between two or however many consenting adults harms no one except, of course, the radical religious bible thumpers. Let them reap what they sow—they live in their own miserable Hell—I know I used to be one

  17. Jenny – I guess you didn't have much luck with your sugar experiments?

    I think the 2 ounces of coffee is for people who get cracked out on a whole cup. In a radio interview Peat recommends 3 to 5 cups a day.

    I still want to see Matt do the milk diet and the sugar diet. Neither one is really that crazy.

    Also, I really don't see how taking some thyroid is that weird or exceptional.

    All in all though, the car analogy is pretty funny.

  18. Dude I will. I'm too "touched in the head" not to. Thanks again Jenny.

  19. Religion vs science! Give me more, baby! Mmmm, bout the milk diet, I think Michael never reported on it, how sad. Now, I do believe Ray Peat is one crazy old man, but there's some very interesting things about the milk diet in relation to his theories; it is very low in pufas and ultra high in iodine (now caffeine or carrot fiber, sadly). Also, If I'm not mistaken, and I'm not, the diet had more, or at least equal, efectivity with skimmed milk, and the more skimmed the better. There's gotta be a lot of factors, of course, but it is still an interesting thing to notice: a curative "essential fatty acid deficient" diet.

    Rice Lover

  20. I think Ray Peat is my favorite nutritional guru. I kid because I love. I think I've picked up bits and pieces of the puzzle from pretty much everyone I made fun of in that piece.

    Alas my sugar experiments were not exactly successful, they ended with me gaining five pounds inside three weeks, something I'd not seen at all when eating HED and avoiding fructose. Also sinus headaches came back. Also my kid got re-hooked on juice and we are going to have to break him of it AGAIN and that really sucks. Think of Buster on Arrested Devlopment drinking the two five gallon buckets of fake blood, "I love JUICE!!!!!" and you get the idea.

  21. Quick one; what should be the oral temp when waking up when completely healed: 98.6

    What I gathered from the new ebook, was that when healed you should be running oral 98.6 24hrs/day right? with a maybe a slight lowering overnight?

    Looks like I still have a ways to go, but only 3 months on HED now, see where the measurements are in Oct 2010.

    Here are are 12hr Fasted BG and Oral Basal from this morn:

    BG: 90
    OB: 97.4
    Afternoon temp: Usually averages 98.0 right now

    I test 1hr post meal BG's about 3 times a week, the are consistly in the 85 to 95, this pounding large unrefined carb, protein and sat fat mix meals.

    3months ago the OB was 96.8, so there is some progress. I wasn't tracking morning fasted BG's but I will start.

  22. Those are obviously good numbers. If you feel good, and your numbers are that close, and you've come that far, just keep on keepin' on. There's no need to be obsessed with a few decimal points if you know you're feeling better.

    Yes Jenny. Juice can be like crack to some of us. If health could be measured by the quantity of Jamba Juice one consumes, I would have had the healthiest diet on the planet at age 20. You'll like my post tomorrow on fructose and leptin.

  23. God, I really think it was a smart thing to start measuring my temps. Cosidering that I'm measuring under the armpit there might be some slight errors, but when I woke up today my temperature was, like 95,7! That at least explains, why I'm soo goddamn sensitive to cold temperatures. But this also shows that my meatbolic rate is low since quite some time now.
    Well, I just hope sticking to HED will work, definitely fell a little better already.

  24. It'll come up. No promises that you'll hit 98 degrees any time soon, but you'll see improvements.

  25. Hey Matt, I got a Robot Coupe Food Processor for my birthday (I have the best husband ever by the way) and I'm trying to decide what to make first. Potato Gnocchi (Man, it'll be nice to ditch the hand cranked food mill!), Liver Tureen (again, awfully nice not to have to dig the liver bits out of the bottom of the blender blade) or the awesome Caesar dressing recipe in your diabetes book, which I've already finished? All three maybe? Would that be too weird of a meal?

  26. Noice! Those things are bombproof. I feel like a sissy with my Cuisinart now.

    My favorite food processor item is actually celery root coooked in cream and then pureed for like, a week. No seriously, dice celery root, cover it with half cream and half water, bring it to a simmer, cook covered for up to an hour – very soft, and then puree for 5 minutes straight until it's like baby food. I don't know why it's so good, but it is. Great with shellfish – particularly good scallops.

    Have fun!

  27. Speaking as someone who is currently putting only raw milk in the tank and not running it and expecting it to magically cure everything, I protest.

    But everything else was really, really funny.

  28. i purpose eating lots of sneaker bars… didn't you watch the commercials!!!


  29. anyone any ideas why my period has been two days early the past three times since being on HED? Should i be concerned? It has always been pretty regular.

  30. It's still regular though right? Just 2 days shorter? No other significant differences? The metabolism does have a huge influence over menstruation.

  31. What type of thermometer should I use to take my temp. And is it best to do it under the armpit or orally?

  32. I've used several, but the most reliable and practical I've had so far is a Vick's digital. Hold it under your arm for a couple minutes before you even turn it on to warm it up. Try both armpits. The highest reading is typically the most accurate. Oral temperatures seem to be a little less reliable. 98 degrees F is more or less the target.

  33. Haha, very funny and creative!

    Matt, I am happy to announce that my wife and I have a 180 baby on the way! Conception came about a month after we both started eating high calories and lots of quality foods. We had tried for 3 months before that, so I can't say for certain that the diet helped, but it surely didn't hurt.

    I have a question for any of the females on here who have been pregnant:

    What typically happens with your tastes? I have noticed that my wife has less interest in animal products and much more interest in starch and fruit. Is that typical?

    I am very excited to see how our baby turns out. Based on your previous post, if we do this right we should be able to make a type 4 or even type 5!


  34. Congrats Scott! That is awesome. Yes, a revulsion to meat is pretty common during pregnancy. A lot of it has to do with the smell of it cooking. Smells that were previously appealing can randomly be repugnant. I was the exact opposite. My husband and I celebrated conception by going out for BBQ. I ate a whole rack of ribs! Ahhh, good times.

    Thanks, Matt for acknowledging my painfully shallow show and tell "question" and giving me another fun thing to try out! I have never even considered buying celery root before this moment. There's a funny piece of minor stage business in the movie Emma where a character declares, "Yes, it's true I love…celery root."

    It's funny how making pureed vegetables, essentially making baby food, can be sooo delicious, especially if as you say in 180 kitchen, you have a willingness to abuse fats.

  35. Do it Jenny. Speaking of ribs. Making some tomorrow. I'll see about getting a 180 Kitchen post going with that.

    Scott –

    Way to go. I knew you had the man juice in ya. I hope the kid pops out flexing. I imagine there to be little in this world more satisfying than creating a little human that with health that is superb to what we've seen around us all our lives. Hope it happens for you. Keep it away from Cusick's kid though. I hear that kid's a badass.

  36. I've read that you have to add a degree for temps taken under the arm. Oral readings when shoved way under your tongue and haven't had anything to eat of drink for a while seem accurate.

  37. Oral temps usually run about .6F higher. The ideal range for underarm is thought to be 97.8-98.2. I'd rather err on the high side of that range though.

  38. As far as the pregnancy thing goes, I craved sugar with my first, I hate to say it I ate a candy bar everyday then, my diet was a wreck. Lot's of foods turned my stomach including meat and especially eggs. I was sort of low-carbing with the second, not too low but I was off sugar unfortunately I was on Splenda–bleck. I don't remember any funny cravings or repulsions this time around. Interestingly my first is a total sugar/chocolate freak and my second could really care less about sweets. -Sarah

  39. Scott, Congrats on the baby- on- the -way!
    All sorts of weird things are normal during pregnancy, Just be happy if she can eat at all during the first trimester!
    But in all seriousness it is normal to crave more carbs, and she'll probably fluctuate with what she craves and has aversions to depending on the stage of pregnancy.
    And I truly believe that diet can make a huge difference in the health of the baby. When I got pregnant I'd been eating a WAPF style diet for about 8 months. I myself got super super sick because of severe adrenal fatigue, but after the first trimester I was able to eat an HED, really nutrient dense, lots of fat. My daughter is 6 months old, and despite being born by c-section and me having such a rough pregnancy, she is one of the healthiest babies ever. Chubby, easygoing, ahead of all her milestones, never had colic or reflux, never spit up.
    I'm sure it's in part because of the diet – which was definitely not perfect but the basics were there. On the downside I gained 60lbs:(
    Congrats again, you're going to have so much fun!!

  40. Thanks ladies.

    Its great that your child has not had any problems. I used to work around a lot of new mothers and babies, and the babies that breast fed were always a lot bigger and a lot calmer. No contest, chubby upon chubiness. Looked great. Seeing a skinny baby was weird.

    The weight gain is something that is probably both physiological (in preparation of pregnancy) and hormonal (in a healing way, high calories = better health)

    I also wonder about when a baby can transition to solid food. I'm sure that breast milk is best, but now that we have access to high quality foods all the time, could I start feeding a child milk, butter, eggs, and anything else that is very easy to eat at a young age? No choking danger. I think that a strong newborn with good digestion could easily knock down some clean grub at a young age.

  41. congratulations Scott, how awesome to have the knowledge to bring a really healthy baby into the world. Very interesting testimonies from the other mums too.

  42. "Since starting HED, I get every girl I walk past pregnant…Thanks a lot Matt!"

    My blurb for the 180 hardcover jacket

  43. Oral (Mouth) Method:…. it is one of the more preferred methods (for over 5 yrs of age)

    Axillary (Underarm) Method: This method is, by far, the easiest, however is considered to be the most inaccurate.

    Read more at Suite101: How to Take an Accurate Temperature http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/child_health/86209#ixzz0c1zEwxO6

    How to take temps from Mayo Clinic website:
    To take your temperature orally:

    * Place the bulb under your tongue.
    * Close your mouth for the recommended amount of time, usually three minutes.

    Under the arm (axillary)
    Although it's not the most accurate way to take a temperature, you can also use an oral thermometer for an armpit reading:

    * Place the thermometer under your arm with your arm down.
    * Hold your arms across your chest.
    * Wait five minutes or as recommended by your thermometer's manufacturer. Then remove the thermometer and read the temperature.
    * An axillary reading is generally 1 degree F (about 0.5 degree C) less than an oral reading.

    Web MD Says:

    A rectal or ear (tympanic membrane) temperature reading is 0.5 to 1°F (0.3 to 0.6°C) higher than an oral temperature reading. A temperature taken in the armpit is 0.5 to 1°F (0.3 to 0.6°C) lower than an oral temperature reading.

  44. Thanks Trix. I find holding it in your armpit for a long time before turning on the digital thermometer to be pretty accurate.

    And most of all, thank you Kirk. Only Jenny has made me laugh as hard as you have the last couple of weeks.

  45. My armpit and oral temperature readings are usually the same. But to measure my basal temp I have to take the armpit reading because after waking up my oral reading will be 0.5 to 1 F lower. I suppose because I am a mouth breather while sleeping.

  46. Oh Jenny…This is absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.

  47. Jenny, you are my hero. Hilarious and so dead-on!

    Scott, Congratulations! There is nothing like the happy brain chemicals you will get when your little one starts grinning at you. And how wonderful you know how to feed your wife and the baby. Oh how I wish for a do-over…

  48. hahaa – thankyou , I really enjoyed the laugh! Much appreciated xo

  49. OMG! That was so funny. And so sad at the same time. I'm my story in a nutshell….My favorite line is this:
    "That is soooo random. But I will try it because I think you must have some mystical power and you are at least answering my emails."

    That's me. Totally lost and confused, still able to identify BS when I see it, but so desperate and out of other options I feel I have to give everything a go….


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