Pray for Ice Cream

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Guest post by:  Heather

Sometimes we forget the really important things in life. Last week, I took my grand-children to a restaurant. My six-year-old grand-son asked if he could say grace.

As we bowed our heads he said, “God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Nana gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!”

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, “That’s what’s wrong with this country. Kids today don’t even know how to pray.  Asking God for ice cream!  Why, I never!”

Hearing this, my grand-son burst into tears and asked me, “Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?”

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grand-son and said, “I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.”

“Really?” my grand-son asked.

“Cross my heart,” the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), “Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.”

Naturally, I bought my grand-children ice cream at the end of the meal.

My grand-son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life…

He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, “Here, this is for you. Shove it up  your ass you grouchy old bitch! “

77 Comments

  1. Best. Story. Ever.

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  2. So your grandma’s name is Heather?

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    • That’s hilarious!

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  3. Classic!!!!! :) :) :)

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  4. I could not find your email so I’m leaving a post.
    I was trying to purchase the 180 Platinum Collection but it says it is the wrong time. What time can I purchase this novelty item? :) it’s probably not the time. But howww can I purchase the collection?

    can you just send me your email?

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    • There was some weird stuff happening on the site yesterday. I don’t know what was causing it. That’s pretty funny it was saying it “is the wrong time” haha. Anyway, sorry about that. I will email you.

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  5. As I was eating a tub of ice cream for breakfast two days ago outside Target on the sidewalk in the sun, two ladies said, “Wow, just eat the whole thing! I wish.” Little did those ladies know, I was pretty much getting leaner before their eyes ;)

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    • been there chuck and I shall revisit that moment many a time in the near future, truly marvelous.

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      • You gotta pour some salted caramel sauce on that stuff. :-)

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    • LOL to this blog entreh

      I started rarrfin-ish in december and for christmas eve my family and I had a gathering at my sisters house, and I was smashing everything my sister had on the table and mind you I used to be really fat, but I’m not anymore (lost weight through all kinds of stupid ways) and my family is pretty unhealthy and always dreading about what the food will do to them. (when I was a kid my aunt suggested this diet of crackers hotdogs and tuna for a couple days and lose ten pounds, which I actually did, how terrible that I was self conscious at such an early age, but I just wanted to portray the ignorance or whatever you’d call it) They seen me gorgin and was like oh you must have ur dads genes (not understanding that I don’t usually do this) but it’s not even worth explaining to them, honestly…what I was doing. This was the first time in a like a year or somethin that I was consuming gluten and beer! I was enjoying myself to the fullest. It was great. My aunt even said, oh Bobby you’d like this dip because its low fat. It’s like oh boy…I don’t even want to start. I’m sure the little fat it did have was soybean oil or somethin. The point is, they see me doin my thing and think that its willpower, or my genes, and they’re too unintelligent and stressful people to even bother I think. My mom is in terrifying health and I can’t help her worth a shit.

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      • ” crackers hotdogs and tuna ” lol
        I love your comments bob there’s always an element of I dont give a **** let it all out. who the hell came up with that diet eh? haa

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        • lol thank you Chief. I like your comments too. It’s always healthy to have a little “fuggit” in your system and I believe we both share that quality. Ya I don’t know where that diet came from but its fuckin retarded and shame on my aunt lawlz. Calorie restricting a child hahaha. Maybe its a good thing though I wouldnt want to be in any bigger I’m 6’5” n a 1/2.

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  6. I have friends ask me all the time how I stay lean with all the the ice cream I eat. My reply is that’s why I’m lean haha ;). I really don’t eat all that much but I go through phases where I smash that ish!

    Sad to see all the negatives and bad thoughts people associate with ice cream. Such a fun exciting food that should be enjoyed without guilt. Relax some and ETF people.

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  7. Excellent, worth becoming an urban legend

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  8. Pure Awesome Sauce! I can only imagine that crotchety lady’s face.

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  9. Epic Win!

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  10. Psalms 37:4

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    • nice one, Johnny.

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  11. Haha! At first when I read this line… “He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, “Here, this is for you.”

    I went, “Awww!” Cause I thought he gave it to her to show the um grouchy ol’ bitch some love anyway (cause seems she needed some) – you know lead by example (and what better way than be led by a child?). But then when I read that last line, my mouth dropped open and I laughed my ass off!

    Sometimes we just gotta tell people like it is. Yay for your grandson! And yay for that sweet old man. And Grandmas too!

    Ice Cream Sundae = $3.99
    Look on grouchy old bitch’s face = PRICELESS!

    Thanks for sharing that story Heather and Matt :)

    P.S. We adults could all take a lesson from kids. Just eat the food. Eat ice cream. And pizza. Play. Dream. Let yourself be. Be happy.

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  12. Before patting yourself on the back and going “Yeah! Show that grouchy old bitch!” try and remember that, barring exceptional neurological issues, people want to be happy.

    Holding that woman’s unhappiness against her is just like holding somebody’s obesity against them; implicitly you are telling them it is their own fault, and why can’t they just be better like everybody else. It is a narcissistic and childish attitude.

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    • Thanks DCX. Believe me, I appreciate this kind of critical thinking. And I agree with you 100%. Ganging up on someone who is unhappy like there’s some war out on grumpy people is not the answer, and in my view is not that different from discriminating against someone for anything that is out of their control. We have a lot less control over our emotions than we think we do. And that statement is more true for some than it is others.

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      • Oh man…Let’s not get all Dan Dennett (the famous argyria dude?) and Sam Harris up in this mofo. What if someone pick-pocketed my wallet, except I knew it. I could look at them through the eyes of love. That poor soul…he has no control over stealing my wallet, perhaps he really needs the money. I wish he’d take the money and give me back my wallet though =\ I kinda need my ID and everything else that’s important. Or through the eyes of judgement. BOOM DONE/MAN HANDLED/DUDE RAGE get your own damn wallet you stinkin scrounge master flex. hahahaha

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        • It may seem hypocritical, but I agree with you Bob. Just because you shouldn’t blame somebody for their problems doesn’t mean they don’t have to take responsibility for them.

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        • Oh no. I didn’t mean to suggest there’s nothing wrong with laying a beat down on someone. Actions have consequences, and illicit certain emotions. I’m just saying that if you were angry and laid a beat down on on someone I wouldn’t retaliate by putting a sticker on my car that says, “Mean People Suck.” Because nice people suck too. And sometimes meanness is awesome and hilarious, like when one of my ex-girlfriends used to ask homeless guys if they took debit cards when they begged for money on the street.

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        • Hahaha, well if some asshole took my wallet, I’d be pissed too and probably do something about it if I could. I’d be angry as balls. I’d be in “BOOM DONE…” mode too.

          I didn’t mean to make my comment as lovey-dovey as it is, but what I was trying to get across was that getting angry and getting revenge on some bitch is one thing (and a hilarious thing at that :D), but judging her entirely off what she did is another.

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    • I know exactly what you mean DCX. I’ve heard it said that you should look at others not through eyes of judgement, but through eyes of love. Give them the benefit of the doubt. I entirely agree. You have no idea what might be going on in a person’s life, what they might be going through. I think Matt is spot on on saying that there are literally hundred’s of factors, many out of their control, that could be negatively affecting a person’s well-being as well as their ability to control their emotions.

      I will say however, that I definitely found this story amusing! I laughed more at the irony of the story and the badassery of the 6 year old boy, but I’ll also say that I felt a certain amount of that “HAHA that old hag got what she deserved!” feeling although I’m not particularly proud that I felt that way. That’s just something I’ll have to catch myself doing and try to use those eyes of love!

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    • I haven’t read it. Richard is a great writer and his tone is fun and entertaining. I think you would probably get some good benefit out of it. Of course, my critique would be that it is a strict presciption of high meat and fat intake, fasting, high-intensity workouts, reduced calorie intake, restriction of many foods – many of those restrictions unnecessary…

      So many will just be triggering a honeymoon effect followed by a lot of negative long-term consequences like hypothyroidism, rebound weight gain, food issues, icy cold hands and feet, autoimmune disease and allergies, anxiety problems, and too many other related things to list here.

      So no, I would’t “recommend it.” I don’t really “recommend” anyone else’s books. I do like some of the ideas of just about everything I’ve read. But that doesn’t mean I would recommend them.

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      • Any time I’m tempted to low carb it, I remember that
        1. I’m hypothyroid already, and
        2. A diet that decreases metabolism just can’t be healthy, or fun.

        Sadly, I really do need to keep reminding myself…

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        • Not sad but entirely normal. Think of it like a broken relationship. We can get a sense of security and make ourselves feel better in a relationship by being controlling, but it is far better to have trust and open communication. It is not easy to restore these things in human relationships, so why should it be in your relationship with food, or with your body? Trust takes a long time to rebuild and there are a lot of thought patterns that need to be broken down.

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          • Thanks, Aaron! Nice perspective.

  13. I adore this

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  14. I was thinking he was going to say,

    “Here this is for you, I just wanted you to see what happens when you pray for Ice cream.”

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  15. How is it that the Warrior diet and the way sumo wrestlers eat is so similar yet one gets fat and the other gets lean? What elements am I missing here? Thanks:)

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  16. What is the Warrior diet?

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    • Check out: http://www.warriordiet.com/

      It’s basically a “diet” where you fast for certain times of the day, and eat in a condensed window of time in the evening. I read the book a while ago so I am not 100% sure on my accuracy. I remember he wasn’t too strict with fasting during the day…encouraging people to eat snacks if they need to like eggs, nuts, salad greens. The workouts are all intensity focused as well…mostly bodyweight type workouts.

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  17. On the topic of modern foods that can aid in health, in looking for easy ways to get lots of energy dense carbs into my breakfast I’ve gone nuts on breakfast cereals the past week, Honey-combed rice balls, chocopuffs, etc. The sweeter, saltier and kid-friendlier the better, having like two or three bowls for breakfast with some milk, and I reckon its been doing me some good, more energy, more warmth, less inflammation and less fatigue.

    Then I saw that there is loads of scientific litterature on how consumption of refined and sweetened breakfast cereals, despite being this ultra-energy dense and superpalatable “junk food”, actually have strong negative correlations with BMI and weight gain in both adults and children, as well as with diabetes, hypertension and heart disease incidence, and that sweetened cereals are actually better for weight control than non-sweetened cereals. My guess would be that the high concentration of easily digestible starches and sugars to fuel the metabolism, the very low total fat (and thus PUFAs), in conjunction with heavy fortification with nutrients like niacin and Vitamin E, plays a large role in this, ie all the products of modern food processing.

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    • I hope that is the case! I miss my Sugar Smacks…and reading about the wacky adventures of that funny frog on the back of the box, Digg’em.

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      • LOL yes

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    • I hope that’s true. I’m very much a member of the cereal generation, and could eat it every day. My freshman year of college that’s practically all I ate!

      It may not be the cereal directly though, but just getting in calories early in the day – useful and supercharged sugar/starch calories at that. In the context of the Western diet and lifestyle, I strongly believe that breakfast is very important. Of course, there are other contexts like Leangains that make this irrelevant. I do believe such things can be a good working model that makes correlations between breakfast eating and health irrelevant.

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      • It’s moments like this I find myself trying not to let new info go to my head. You always have to start asking the critical questions? Is it the cereal itself or more something like Matt pointed out? If so, would oatmeal be even better, or perhaps toast and eggs? There’s an article on the WAPF website that mentions some unpublished studies that show negative correlation between consumption of extruded breakfast cereals and longevity in rats.

        Just like Matt mentions about all the studies that show skipping breakfast is bad for you, we have to recognize that this is largely epidemiological and we have to tease out the context of why this may or may not be the case, so it is very difficult to extrapolate anything.

        I’ve recently bought myself a box of Cracklin Oat Bran and a box of Golden Grahams, looking forward to my long abandoned habit of morning breakfast cereal. I don’t know if it was because I read the WAPF article or in spite of it. I recognized another possible “rule” I may be following (don’t eat breakfast cereals) and didn’t want that hanging over me. So I figured I’ll just try it out for a while and see what my impressions are eating cereal. If I feel like maybe they’re not the greatest choice, then maybe I won’t eat them so much.

        I think the most important factor with diet is to be able to assimilate all the information coming in, but to not let that information push you around. It’s more like “hmm, ok, that’s interesting. I’ll keep that in mind.”

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        • Yeah, it’s a “Who knows” type of scenario for sure. Maybe in the morning we are in a similar state (glycogen depleted) to how we are after a hard workout. And research is pretty clear that rapidly-absorbed carbohdyrates are key for optimal glycogen repletion and shutting down stress hormones in that state. By the same token maybe starch and sugar is terrible to take in when glycogen is full? Anyway, never a shortage of stuff to think about. I like cereal though. It’s yummy.

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  18. I was sure the old man would turn out to be God :/

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  19. This is unrelated to this post, but I was reading a post from 2007 about coconut oil. A lady said she cured her hypothyroidism by consuming 3 Tbs of coconut oil daily. I’ve followed your blog for a while and know you change your view of things often (when you get new information). Would you still recommend consuming that much coconut oil to help with hypothyroidism, etc?

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    • I like coconut fat and saturated fats in general for increasing metabolism. 3T is a lot. You probably don’t need that much. People get into trouble when they think that something is “healthy” and start to follow a “more the merrier” type of approach to eating certain foods. Eating some coconut oil and coconut fat is probably good. Eating a lot of it is probably not.

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  20. Matt what is the reason someone starting rrarf would have better post meal blood sugar but higher fasting bs?

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    • Someone on RRARF should start to have lower fasting BG and lower postmeal BG than at the start.

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      • i have been suggesting rrarf to some people I know on a fitness site. one of the ladies has higher fasting readings which is concerning her. I am just trying to find some insight so she doesnt jump ship prematurely:)

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        • she has only JUST started this – i figured it might take the body time to adjust

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        • Yeah I talk about this in my 180 Diabetes book, talking about how sugar levels increase for the first few days, and then you start to typically see the levels falling after about the 5th day. That is typical. Everyone responds to different stimuli in a slightly different way though. It also depends on where a person is coming from. If they are coming off of a highly restricted diet their sugar levels will go through the roof at first, but that is not caused by RRARF per se, but is caused by the diet that preceeded it. No matter though. It comes back in line with time. I also talked about this in the book, as coming off of a highly restricted diet caused my sugar levels to reach an all-time high when I returned to eating, even though my sugar levels decreased on that highly restricted diet, and even though RRARF eventually led to my sugar levels reaching rock bottom levels (fasting 67, 1-hour postprandial 75) after a month of doing it.

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          • Hi callie, if it’s possible I would recommend to her to not be scared by what’s going on with the blood sugars and wait it out. It might take more than 5 days, possibly a couple weeks.

            When I quit low-carb and started RRARFing, my blood sugars shot through the roof. They would remain high for hours after a large, mixed meal. This was very worrisome to me since my practice of low-carb had really been a form of blood sugar control (heavily influenced by Gary Taubes and bloodsugar101.com). It was like OMG I’m wrecking my body, I better back off. I’m not sure this is healthy.

            But I have better fasting BS now than I ever did low-carb, often in the 70s and I don’t remember the last time I checked post-prandial, because honestly, there’s really no point. I achieved this without exercise and without carb restriction, so the idea that there’s a certain amount of carbs that are too much, or that they need to match activity levels is a lot of hogwash IMO. If your friend can tough it out for two weeks or more, I think she’ll see the same kind of benefits.

  21. I’ve been reading this blog now for a couple of months and have been getting ready to get some of the e-books but I’m beginning to rethink it.

    Over all, I have loved reading this site. The humor and all certainly makes this site most interesting and fun to read. However, on this, I feel like I’m being taken for a ride. I’m hoping that everything else I have been reading is a lot more credible than this.

    This is nothing more than an urban legend. It’s been floating around the web for years. The only thing I remember that is different than from the others I’ve seen is the very last line. Both my daughter and I remember it being something like *You need the ice cream more than I do*.

    Sorry, but nothing gets me more than when something is portrayed as true when it’s not.

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    • Yeah, I honestly thought that this was a story of Heather’s that she was sharing with me. She’s a super creative lady and a great writer in our email exchanges – not to mention the story was about a young kid and ice cream, so I didn’t question it. Well, I did actually but she didn’t respond. At least not until after this was posted. Anyway, I’m sorry about that. I thought of taking the post down but the story is great, so I didn’t have the heart to pull it. And I, like most people here who have tried 38 different magic diets for perfect health, have a pretty high level of gullibility by nature haha. You can see why, thinking that this was something that just happened, I was so eager and enthusiastic about getting it up on the site. Anyway, my bad. Wasn’t meant to be some form of deception.

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    • It seemed familiar to me and it did not matter at all. I didn’t think anyone thought this was a true story. ideas are recycled all the time.
      The people bringing about SOPA for instance could not make movies after edison had proprietary rights to movie making so they created hollywood to get around laws.
      in california they could recycle classic tales such as cinderella essentially “stealing” by their own definition and now ironically they are complaining about stealing.

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      • Don’t you know? Walt Disney wrote Pinocchio, Cinderella, The Jungle Book, Robin Hood, Alice in Wonderland, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, and the Hunchback of Notre-Dame. You better respect their copyright!

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  22. Matt,

    Have you read SOPA? I haven’t. I clicked on a site to just that………this stood out to me
    immediately.

    Sec.105. Immunity for taking voluntary action against sites that endanger public health.

    This needs to get out! Before the public loses any hope of finding real health.

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    • I’m not too worried. But you never know. This is a weird society we live in.

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      • I think it is a clause to “shut down or, sensor” sites like yours.

        Can you imagine what main stream medical would say about
        RRARF? Certainly Big Pharma has to be feeling a pinch. As,
        many are learning diet plays a bigger role in health than Practioner’s
        are willing to admit.

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    • fuck sopa! everybody in on that thing needs to be locked up and forced to eat raw vegan without nuts style for the rest of life while being forced to do marathons and crossfit daily !

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      • Dude, they probably do. That’s what’s wrong with ‘em.

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        • I’m with you 100% Chief and Matt.Once they get there hands on the internet, they’ll strangle it to death. The President already has the authority to shut down websites at will and actually cut major internet backbones for a “perceived” threat, which is open to interpretation.

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        • scary though that they are rolling around with the minnesota semi starvation effects on their brains and these are the people making decisions eh? don’t be surprised to see a politician on youtube cutting 3 of his finger off and discussing recipes in between mindlessly signing laws into existence.

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    • Hmm, this is kind of freaky.

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  23. Matt, I wanted to mention that I have been eating big breakfasts of buckwheat pancakes and maple syrup as you suggested, citrus and tropical fruit, bananas, raw milk cheese and full fat yogurt with molasses for the past week and my hands are much warmer and actually have some moisture in them. I also get warmer quicker and stay warmer longer, and sweat more during exercise. This is great because I have had cold, dry hands for as long as I can remember. I no longer eat oatmeal, nor do I drink huge glasses of water as was my custom for many years (after donating a kidney the surgeon told me to drink plenty of water). I get most of my water from the food I eat.

    Of course I have a pint of a simple Haagen Dazs flavour a couple times every week, before mid-afternoon.

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    • Yeah. It’s really simple actually. So simple I want to kick myself sometimes. I talked to a guy yesterday who has followed Ray Peat’s work for a year and has suffered a big drop in thyroid, rise in TSH and cholesterol, and has serious problems with his hands and feet and body temps. falling as the day goes on. He wakes up feeling great with a temp well over 98, but it crashes to 97 by midday. His problem? Most likely drinking too many fluids and diluting his system. He said he drinks 2-3 quarts of milk every day and 1 quart of orange juice. No wonder.

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      • Hey matt, after having done the milk diet and looking into RBTI what’s your thoughts about the milk diet post RBTI.

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        • Mostly that milk is too alkalizing. My problem was being overly alkaline, so drinking lots of milk made my conditions relating to being overly alkaline worse. In RBTI alkalinity is countered by eating citrus fruits. And excess dairy fat is considered problematic. In the old-school material printed about the milk diet, the two things that are suggested for those having problems on the milk diet is to eat oranges with the milk, and drink low-fat milk instead of whole milk.

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          • by old school you mean in benarr’s stuff ?

          • I’ve always read that citrus fruits actually alkalize the body after digestion..And when I started rarrfin I was eating tons of cereal with whole milk. Now I’m not doin that anymore because I was thinkin maybe I was diluting my system too much with the milk. Then I read that rbti suggests skim milk and I’m like dub tee eff. And I been eating the pizza I get with sour cream. Lots of dairy fat. I wanna eat tons of cereal without worryin about the milk or the fat in it DAMNITT. Guess i’ll just ETF an STFU =D

          • Bernarrrrrrr and Charles Sanford Porter.

  24. “And I, like most people here who have tried 38 different magic diets for perfect health, have a pretty high level of gullibility by nature haha. You can see why, thinking that this was something that just happened, I was so eager and enthusiastic about getting it up on the site. Anyway, my bad. Wasn’t meant to be some form of deception.”

    I kind of figured as much but still needed to speak up and say something about it so I didn’t feel like I was continuing down a new gullibility path myself. See, silly me started reading your blog from the *very beginning* and it made so much sense that I jumped both feet first into HED. After doing low carb/zero carb for the past 3-4 years because of supposed Candida, I am now sitting here at the fattest I’ve ever been but loving that I’m no longer cold, having fewer hot flashes and better sleep than I’ve had in a long time. Having a quick flash of wondering if I was completely stupid doing this was what made me write.

    Anyway, thanks for responding. I feel much better now………….fat and all. ;o)

    I jumped into your

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    • You started reading the blog from the very beginning? Damn you must have some free time.

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    • Keep it up Deborah, I too have low carbed and a bunch of other things and lost a lot of weight actually doing it. People were like wow you lost a lot of weight cool blah blah blah. Nothing could hide my cheerio neck and the feeling of orthostatic hypotension which was probably totally due to messed up blood sugars. We’re all human and gullible to some degree but the general idea surrounding this blog and its people make a lot more sense than I’ve previously encountered. It’s all a gamble, but gambling with ice cream and buffets is awesome.

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  25. Hey, just a couple weeks ago I took my DiL and grandson (Brock’s wife and son) to the local place where I go for my 99-cent fresh gelato on Tuesdays. As we walked in the woman behind the counter looked at my grandson and said “Hello John”. LOL, my DiL said, “oh no, you’re already on a first name basis!” But John had been there before with me. :-)

    I do try to be careful about what I eat most of the time, but I still think a little ice cream is good for the soul. Love that’s little kid’s grace.

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    • John John is the man. Whatever they are feeding that kid it’s working!

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  26. I really appreciate this story, however, too cute! However, the ending threw me for a loop. If my child (I have three) ever talked to a lady, especially a stranger, like that kid did, he would be very, very, very sorry he did that. He would be really praying a prayer of thanks for the next ice cream he got, which would be when he is 96. The lady may have deserved it, but children should never be allowed to talk like that!! Don’t mean to rain on the parade, but doesn’t it bother anybody that such behavior is allowed and even applauded?

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    • I think everybody should be allowed to talk however they want to talk, regardless of their age, and that children shouldn’t be under the rule of parents that function like dictators.

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