The Bulimia Bandit

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Google+0
Matt Stone stars in this short, heartwarming, and mildly-offensive film – The Bulimia Bandit.  Stone is cast in the leading role as the Bulimia Bandit himself – a masked hero that travels the world fighting women’s hate crimes against themselves.  Although not shown, Stone has many magical powers including the ability to turn soy products, salad, laxatives, fingers, and meal replacement shakes into Strawberry ice cream.  Stone’s nemesis is Jenny Craig.  His weakness is that, without carbohdyrates, he turns to the dark side.  Although never shown to conceal his identity, Stone’s superhero attire is a full body latex suit patterned after Stone’s favorite childhood superhero, Condorman (shown left).  It is fully equipped with an emergency orange juice tank, wings, and special jet-boots that enable him to fly from refrigerator to refrigerator - fully protected from ketosis and spillage from various toxic sludges, including Diet Coke, Slim Fast shakes, Skim or soy milk, and vegetable oil-based salad dressings…

146 Comments

  1. perfect

    Reply
  2. I guess you have a preference for fuller figured women…instead of the thinner types. There is a type for everyone…c'est la vie.

    I've been rather thin all my life…but now am annoyed by a little bit of a paunch under my belly button…at 121 lbs. We all have our own body images. You girlfriend probably uses the 'pig' word to motivate her to meet her own goals for her ideal.

    But, telling her she is beautiful…is all good just about anytime.

    Reply
  3. Narendra,

    I'm really interested to hear more about the way you changed your diet and what the proportions of starch to sugar are, if you mixed both of them during a meal, how many meals you eat etc…

    The reason why, is because after a year and a half of low carb, I did the original HED which helped me gain muscle and a few other improvements but ever since eating carbs again I have had one nostril always plugged up. I don't think it's a deviated septum since the actual nostril changes throughout the day but no matter which one I can breathe through it's a guarantee that the other side is plugged up. So I'd appreciate it if you could share some info

    Reply
  4. @ Trix- I don't know where you derived the "fuller figure" remark? I didn't see any pics. Maybe you mean normal, or healthy girls that aren't consuming all their thoughts and time figuring out how to loose weight or be miserable about their bodies and food consumption.

    Theres a problem when a woman has the idea that using the word "pig" towards her self is okay for any circumstances. I'm guessing most peoples thoughts justify it because it aids them in reaching a temporary goal? What about the long term effects?

    Reply
  5. I have nothing against thin women. I know that's your natural body type and that is A-okay. It would be heavenly to be a with a woman who is naturally thin, and feels strong and confident about how she looks. What are you doing later, haha?

    "PIG" is not that naturally thin, has lost somewhere around 25 pounds, and even though she is not stick thin yet, she already has many overt anorexic symptoms (peach fuzz on the thyroid gland, cracked nails, slow wound healing, frequent illness, lightheadedness, cold all the time, menstrual irregularities for the first time in her life, falling hair, and fixation on her weight and diet for the first time in her life).

    A person who loses weight below what his/her body maintains eating to appetite and getting regular exercise and good sleep is not the same, physiologically or mentally, as someone who is naturally thin.

    Having "goals" about your weight means dissatisfaction with how you look, and dieting/purging/laxatives/overexercising is not a cure for that – but makes body image increasingly negative the more weight you lose, and infinitely more negative once you gain all the weight back to where you started or above.

    She used to be fully satisfied with how she looked and felt before losing weight (which was sparked by an accident that left her unable to eat solid food for several weeks).

    Even considerably heavier she still made it 4 years without paying for a drink haha.

    Reply
  6. Wow that PIG sign is sad. Good for you for switching it out.

    Reply
  7. Thanks for more explanation…makes more sense to me now.

    Fuller figured was probably the wrong term to use…I think I meant more curvacious…but neither probably apply to Matt's GF anyway.

    I am post-menopausal and have a son your age, Matt. I am trying to figure out if I can successfully get back a flatter tummy at my age…or if this is it…or if I've been messing with my diet a bit more than I should have and I was better off before I was wanting to help my husband lose his 25 lbs and started reading so many diet/health blogs.

    I've never thought I had any eating disorder because I could always eat as much as I want or not…I had a pretty lean setpoint, but I think I started to get a bit orthorexic so that I wasn't eating as much as I should have for a few months and my body might have decided to store more as fat to prevent starvation. I just want to get back to normal. Oh well.

    Lucy

    Reply
  8. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    Laughed so loud I scared the dog out of his fur.
    From what I have seen she is hardly a 'pig'. Good move Mr. Stone, you are really a softy deep inside.
    Like somewhere near your pancreas.
    :)
    xoxox

    Reply
  9. I am the Brocknoviach. You will not escape me this time, Condorman! You are an AMATEUR, do you hear? You are NOT an agent of the CIA! You are a WRITER OF NUTRITION BLOGS! [slams free E-book on the desk]

    Reply
  10. BRING IT BROCK!
    WWE world nutrition nerd wrestling, who's in?
    Anyone watching Poprah's eating disorder show? It's the shiznit fo sho.

    Reply
  11. Matt,
    Old H.S. classmate here. I have not spend much time on your blog. I just jumped on to find that video of you switching out "PIG" to beautiful. Oh, how that struck an emotional cord with me. I spent way to many years destroying myself like your girlfriend. I'd write hateful journal entries bashing myself after I'd list everything I ate. So horrible. I read them now with so much sadness. My body image was the only thing I thought I about, and always in a negative light. When I found my husband (then boyfriend) things began to turn around slowly but surely. He loved me for me and would embrace every inch of me. I never did the anorexia thing, but I did hate myself for too long. Life is too short and too beautiful to spend be consumed with self hate. I can honestly say I love my body now! I've had a baby and I still love it! It's strong and gets me to the top of mountains, down ski slopes, and makes beautiful babies… haha. I will never be a supermodel, but I won't ever go back to the self loathing. Cheers to you for helping the fight against crazy anorexic chicks!

    Reply
  12. I would love to see OOPrah's new show. Sounds awesome. People have to get past this retarded obsession with weight.

    Blake-

    Pretty f'ed up right?

    Lucy-

    I'm sure you look great. That's the thing. This girl has gotten more attention from males AND females than any human being I've ever met – all in the 150+ pounds curvaceous state. She has a stalker for every letter of the alphabet – seriously, she has to keep the blinds closed in her apartment day and night. Losing weight hasn't made her feel better, look better, function better, more attractive to other people, happier, or anything. It's a complete f'ing disaster. And when we started hanging out she was gaining weight rapidly eating 800 calories per day (6 pounds off of her low – although it was mostly water retention that quickly disappeared when she started eating with me).

    Eat the food!

    Brock-

    Incorporating Condorman into this post was a last-minute alteration. Your name almost made it into the post.

    Reply
  13. Uh oh the old high school classmates are coming out of the woodwork!

    Tell 'em how I never went after the anorexic chicks! It's true!

    Reply
  14. Love this! I never had any body issues until I was 21 and some family trauma got me so upset that I couldn't eat for a month and dropped 20 lbs. And guess what? That introduced me to a three year struggle with anorexia.
    It took a really rough pregnancy (surprised I got pregnant at all looking back now), getting really ill, and going on GAPS diet to correct my brain chemistry I guess, because I no longer have panicky feelings about being stuck in my fat body. I actually don't think about my size much at all which is SUCH a relief after those years of torture.
    Don't worry Matt, the GAPS diet has worked wonders for me and I'm now incorporating your ideas about sugar, ( in the form of fruit and honey) gelatin (lots of broth) and less muscle meats. Cutting down on muscle meat has been key for me.
    Good job changing the sign, keep up the good work;)

    Kate

    Reply
  15. That's exactly the deal here – trauma-induced weight loss beyond the point of no return.

    People don't willingly develop eating disorders, they slip into them with some intial weight loss and can't get out because they are physically and psychologically self-perpetuating on many levels.

    She likey the key lime pie. She loves cheese grits. Her favorite restuarant is an all-you-can-eat ribs joint. She loves the 80's and crimps her hair. I will quiz her on Condorman later to see if she really is the perfect woman for me… Otherwise Brock and I will have to run away together, and nobody wants to see that. We both sweat too much in this Florida weather.

    Yeah I think GAPS could be much better if it were carbohydrate based without so much reliance on meat and fat. I can only imagine how much of an improvement that has been for you.

    Reply
  16. "Your name almost made it into the post."

    One day, Stone! My day will come!

    "Otherwise Brock and I will have to run away together, and nobody wants to see that. We both sweat too much in this Florida weather."

    Word. That would not be pretty.

    "I will quiz her on Condorman later to see if she really is the perfect woman for me."

    Don't worry if she blanks on the quiz; rehabilitation is possible. I introduced my wife to Condorman. And luckily she was already familiar with Transformers: The Movie (the 1986 version, please). So it's all good now.

    Reply
  17. "Stone has many magical powers including the ability to turn………fingers……..into Strawberry ice cream."

    Reply
  18. Aww, Matt, keep it up! My husband has been trying for 10 years to convince me that I'm beautiful to him no matter what size, I just haven't believed it. Thanks to you and him (another Matt) I'm getting it :)

    Reply
  19. You mean there is another human being in the world who gains while eating under 1000 calories per day?? Whew!! Thought I was the only one.

    When I weighed 150 I thought I was a "pig". One of the boys in my class called me a 200 pound canary. Little did I know he was flirting with me. I just internalized the comment as an insult and self punished with dieting till I DID weigh 200 pounds.

    Good for you for not tolerating the self-hating name calling. "Beautiful" is a much better word and likely more accurate.

    Still feeling bloated and gain-y over here (attractive, I know) and counting the minutes till I get my first round of advice from Josh Rubin…May 5th for those counting with me. Though I can't divulge anything too specific on the interwebs I can at least talk about generalities…like sweet potatoes and gelatin I imagine :-)

    Reply
  20. "People don't willingly develop eating disorders, they slip into them with some intial weight loss and can't get out because they are physically and psychologically self-perpetuating on many levels."

    mmmm no I willingly developed an eating disorder. When I was 13 the school showed us this film in "health" class about bulemia and I thought, that sounds like a good idea! For the next decade I threw up about 10 times a day. Even now, 23 years later, I occasionally want to barf but it makes me feel so bad (like dizzy, heart pounding, etc) that I don't. Anyway I tanked my thyroid by age 15 and it's amazing I didn't mess up even more things. I know I will have a lifelong health challenge due to my teenage stupidity and vanity.

    Reply
  21. When you saw that video though you were probably already nutritionally compromised in some way.
    I also "willingly" developed anorexia, as in I refused to gain weight and wanted to be as thin as possible (so I purposely ate as little as possible) but my brain got in to that screwed up position at LEAST in part from nutritional deficiency. Before I became nutritionally deficient I thought I looked fine and would never have had the desire to starve myself. But my perception got screwed up.

    Kate

    Reply
  22. Matt,
    I know how you feel man. I have to deal with my wife doing the same thing. She is in great shape, but she still stands in front of the mirror and gets upset if she can pinch a little fat on her stomach. I don't even allow her to use the scale. Too bad women don't realize that most guys aren't attracted to the sickly scrawny look.

    Is there a certain point where you would try to help her with an intervention? Like what you see on those TV shows with the people are consuming massive amounts of food and getting really huge to the point where it effects mobility?

    Reply
  23. Kate, maybe I was nutritionally compromised, but I doubt it. I ate well, and my mom was into good, real food and always home-cooked. I was a little overweight but not fat by any means.

    I really thought that bulemia was glamorous. Even without the added benefit of the weight loss. It was, like, so cool and tragic to have a "problem" like that.

    I was so pathetically insecure. Now, I look at my boys and I'm just so glad I don't have girls, because I don't know how I would help them get through those years.

    Reply
  24. My sister intentionally developed an eating disorder too. She was in the fashion and modeling industry and her and her friends thought that it was a legitimate lifestyle. They did not view it as a disorder. She was very educated on all of the eating disorders and would talk freely about anorexia being a reasonable choice.

    Reply
  25. see! Bulimia IS glamorous. All the supermodels are doing it.

    Reply
  26. I hope she can believe you.

    Reply
  27. JT if it's not too personal, what happened over time with your sister and is she still doing it?
    curious

    Reply
  28. No she is not doing it now. She married a rich guy, got pregnant and has been eating the HED ever since. She gained a TON of weight and she has not lost it since. She eats lots of ice cream every night. She is addicted to calorie dense foods like pizza and ice-cream and eats them every day. She has always had a very emotional relationship with food, and has always got an extreme pleasure response from food. I remember when she was really young, like when she could first talk, she would obssess over foods, especially sweets. So, because of her eating she was really chubby until she became a teenager and decided to get skinny and go on a diet. She learned how to diet from anorexia web sites. She would pretty much, just eat junk, but learned how to keep calories really low.

    Reply
  29. Wow well she is healthier now. I can see why the weight would pile on her.

    Reply
  30. Getting pregnant is the key for us eating disordered gals! Thats what I did too – got pregnant and gained 60 lbs. It's like your body just starts demanding calories and you can't fight it anymore.
    I've lost the weight now but NOT by starving myself!
    So just remember, all you guys who love the skinny chicks – we're the most likely to get super fat when we get prego!

    Reply
  31. Hey Matt, just thought you'd like to know that in light of some diet changes, my husband and I just cleared up a chunk of land behind our house and planted only corn and potatoes.

    Yeah, we rarrf'n it in Texas.

    Reply
  32. Bravo to you–that is a wonderful exchange. 'PIG' on the fridge is degrading and self-harming.

    To those who talk about having 'intentionally' developed an eating disorder: wouldn't you agree that at some point, it slipped beyond your (or your sister's) control? I know that while I didn't 'decide to adopt anorexia' (as some people say they do/did), for quite some time I thought that when I'd reached x lbs I would just let it go. But at a certain point, it had a hold on me, and it was always five more pounds. At 5ft 4 and 75 lbs, I still thought I had weight to lose.

    It seems to me that it's like a funnel effect–you get into it from various backgrounds (and it's interesting that sometimes it's a trauma or accident with no body image connection), and gradually it gains the upper hand. It takes over your life, and even if some shred of your intellect knows that you're emaciated and out of control and barely functioning in the world, it takes precedence over all that–five more pounds… And it takes a long long time to turn around.

    Reply
  33. Your body can go into a light ketosis leading to a higher free fatty acid synthesis. You could work out and build a shredded body and would be more doable with a routine under an hour. Not every day. Keep it as simple as sprints and bodyweight exercises, work on the basics. Depending on your size you may want to go 150-250g of carbohydrates a day. Have the higher amount of workout days.

    As far as an effective weightloss system a modified slow carb would be effective. All carbohydrates are slow digesting starches or green vegetables. Very little to no fruits and no refined sugars. Go low fat to increase fat loss, don't go over 50g of fat a day for the temporary rapid weightloss. No tiredness or lethargy because you're taking in plenty of carbohydrates. Take in more protein to spare muscle loss. Women probably would never have to go over 150g of carbohydrates a day. Vegetable juices are an exception, fruits can be added to them. Spinach, beets, tomato, carrots, jerusalem artichoke, and apples are a good combination. Tastes good. Coffee probably shouldn't be included, as it ruins sleep and personal attitude. Many people have adrenal fatigue because of caffeine.

    Reply
  34. For lighter females or females looking to lose those last couple pounds of fat they may want to reduce their carbohydrate intake to 75g a day. 150g a day on workout days. If they have very busy calorie burning lifestyles they can consuming up to 150g of carbohydrate a day.

    Reply
  35. @sideways Tim Ferris fan?

    Reply
  36. Lord where do I start. I have always suffered with my body image and my eating from a young age.I was always the biggest through school,tipping the scale at 95kg at 16years. I managed to get my weight down to around 70kg threw my 20s. After suffering a few emotional blows, my weight has yoyo over the years and last year went down to 54kg at 173cm.

    I totally agree that its that initial weight loss which sets things off.

    I was on a low carb, protein diet for quite some time, and often binged on sweet stuff. This was combined with a vigerous exercise routine. I started seeing a psychologist last year who is slowly help me deal with my issues and the voices in my head which some days tell me I look great and some days that I dont. Or that I can have something to eat or shouldnt. I slowly introduced more carbs last year and have managed to stop the binging. After getting married last November, my weight has increased slightly. I still exercise, but alot differently. I also have not become fixated on the figure on the scales. I hop on every few weeks oppose to doing the weekly weigh in where I jotted down my weight in my diary.

    The biggest shock to the system is that I have been off the pill for 1year and have not had a menstral cycle. I am now seeing a fertility specilist who assisting me with hormones etc to kick start the system.

    Its a constant battle and some days can be so draining. I cant wait to get pregnant as there will be my excuse, my out to break this routine and be normal.What I wont do is restrict my diet as I dont want my child to ever grow up being overweight like I was.

    Being Easter in Aus, I have just allowed myself my one and only Hot Cross bun for morning tea :)

    To everyone that suffers like I do, there is hope, you just need to beleive in yourself and let go.

    Anonymous and healing :)

    Reply
  37. Another eating disorder survivor here. It's a horrible illness. I think it's interesting to note that when I recovered and put on weight I got more attention from guys – a LOT more. They really don't like the anorexic look. Also I wasn't spending 24/7 thinking about my weight so I'm sure I looked happier. Remembering this fact has helped keep me from relapsing more than once.

    The other side to an eating disorder is the emotional component. It's a coping mechanism to deal with problems in your life. If you don't deal with them you're more likely to continue to use food/weight to cope. Getting a therapist was one of the best things I could possibly have done. Between that and intuitive eating, I have a healthier relationship with food than I ever imagined. I hope "beautiful" can get there, too. She will probably need professional help to do so.

    Reply
  38. @grass fed momma: I do like Tim Ferriss' exercise, nutrition, and supplementation material yes.

    Reply
  39. Condorman! Hahahahahaha! I can't even come close to remembering how many times Brock made me take that movie out of the video rental store when he was a kid. I should have just *bought* the darn thing. I certainly paid for it just in rental fees. LOL

    (Brock's mom)

    Reply
  40. Amy, its so true. My psychologist is helping me deal with the issues and things that have contributed to my anxiety around food, poor body image and need to loose weight.

    Its all about control.If I cant control what has happened or is happening around me, food and diet is one thing I can.

    I highly recommend the short book (which takes about an hour to read), to anyone trying to change, called "Who moved my cheese".

    Thanks, healing

    Reply
  41. Hey Brock's Mom is here! Matt, get your mom on here too so they can argue or become friends or??
    hee hee
    deb

    Reply
  42. I am the first anon who got bulimic after the film in health class.

    Amy, you said on the Kitchen Kop low-carb thread that you're a size 4. So if you were a lot skinnier than that, yeah, you needed to gain some weight! Size 4 was about my thinnest, maybe size 2. I definitely had more attention from guys at that size than my current size 10. Who cares, I'm married now hahaha.

    Ela, there was certainly a point where it got out of control but I think bulimia is different from anorexia in that you always know what you're doing is messed up, whereas anorexia can sneak up on someone. But I made a conscious decision to try puking. I WANTED to have an eating disorder because I thought it was glamorous and, also, it got me attention. I liked it when guys got all like Matt is now and worried about me and told me I was beautiful anyways and all that. Maybe my dad was emotionally distant or something while I was growing up… I don't really know what my excuse is for needing male attention like that.

    If I were a guy, I'd be seriously bored with women's vanity. Isn't it tedious?

    Reply
  43. Dudes (Matt included, for now)- how sick is Florida? You're all moving down there?

    I've got to get to a sunnier, warmer climate. Waves & babes would be a perk.

    Reply
  44. how much fruit is too much for a child? my 4 year old only opens bowels every 2 days but not constipated (soft stool, no straining) but has a hemmoroid starting. he has about 3 pieces of fruit per day (apple, pear, grapes, mango, melon, plums etc.) plus raw veg (cucumber, pepper, carrot) but makes no difference to transit time. if he has any more than this then it would end up replacing meals – is this ok?

    Reply
  45. Matt,
    i know that you've said that a low metabolism can cause or exacerbate many underlying health problems. So raising your metabolism can alleviate allergies, constipation, autoimmune disorders, weight issues, frequent illnesses, cold hands and feet, lightheadedness, feelings of low energy, lack of mental focus, etc.
    Do you think that everybody who has a low metabolism experiences different symptoms or do they experience certain symptoms in common? In other words, can a low metabolism negatively impact one person's mood and mental focus, while that same low metabolic state causes allergies in another person. So you think symptoms of low metabolism manifest differently in different people?

    Reply
  46. Ronaldo

    Same here with one blocked nostril that changes throughout the day, but it goes away if I'm outside. I have had mine since end of high school (4 years ago), thats when I stopped eating sugars and under ate starches.

    No way in hell I could tell you my exact starch:sugar ratio, most days I eat typical Indian cuisine which has too many ingredients. Here's the basic breakdown of meals in starch and sugars -You can go figure at nutritiondata

    Breakfast:
    banana
    orange
    1 tbl blackstrap 11g sugar
    1 tbl chawanprash 11g sugar
    1 bowl white rice

    Lunch:
    1.5 cup whole wheat flour

    Afternoon/Evening Snack:
    1-2 bananas
    another fruit
    1 cup more grains
    2-3 egg omelettes
    or
    pancakes (1 cup flour,1 egg, milk )
    + 1/2 cup maple syrup

    Dinner:
    1.5 cup whole wheat flour

    Before bed:
    banana or another fruit or ice cream

    As a general rule of thumb sugars and fruits are eaten first before eating a more "solid" meal/dish.

    The biggest energy and longest time of nose cleared experienced was on the fruit and pancake snack.

    Also my nose stuffiness gets worse between 11-2am then any other time. Is that same for you?

    Also, Matt posted a response about this in the previous comments.

    Reply
  47. Tierney,
    That is a very interesting comment about how you enjoyed the attention like Matt is giving his girlfriend. I know Matt's intentions are good, but I can see how it would reinforce the eating disorder behaviors.

    I would like to know what people who have struggled with eating disorders think about this?

    Reply
  48. I was thinking the same thing when I watched the video. Glad Tierney (a ED survivor) brought it up. I too wonder if this kind of well-intentioned "help" will backfire in some way.

    I also can't believe that Matt would decide to "be" with a woman with an eating disorder; which means underlying psychological issues, like Tierney eluded to. Anyway, it's rather ironic that Matt would get hooked up with such a girl. Or maybe it's karma? ;)

    Or maybe he will be her savior? Hope so. Best wishes to both of them :)

    Reply
  49. pretty sure Matt says in the video that the girl he's seeing has a friend who writes that on her fridge. in other words 'beautiful' is not the same girl as he's dating.

    Reply
  50. pretty sure Matt says in the video that the girl he's seeing has a friend who writes that on her fridge. in other words 'beautiful' is not the same girl as he's dating.

    Reply
  51. In someone who does this in an attempt to get attention, this would definitely reinforce the behaviors. I would say that putting signs up is definitely an attempt to get attention. Many are so needy for this that they will do bad things to get it, even if it is a negative reaction. Think how much more powerful this positive reaction is to the behavior. It would be like giving a kid candy whenever he punches his teacher in the face.

    Maybe a better way to deal with it is to just give them attention when they act right, and just ignore the blatant attempts to get attention doing the wrong things. Explain to her that you really care about her and don't want to help this cycle continue, and let her know what types of behavior are not going to be acceptable.

    I guess everyone craves acceptance from others, and this may be a normal healthy thing for humans. But, there is probably a point where this craving becomes a sickness.

    Matt, have you noticed that there is always drama? I have known people like this. They always find a way to create some drama because they need the stimulation. They are usually so good at it that you don't realize how they manipulate the situation. I was wondering what was going on with you, as I have noticed a major change in your work lately. Hope you can find a solution that works for you bro.

    Reply
  52. RobA,
    No, he didn't say friend, he said fridge. Matt said it is the fridge of the girl he is seeing. And that the girl he is seeing writes this on her fridge.

    Reply
  53. JT, I used to have anorexia and looking back on it I would say that what Matt did would have been entirely helpful in those days. I think I needed more than anything for someone just to tell me that I was OK, and to be very s=adamant about it.

    Kate

    Reply
  54. I was wondering that too about the drama. I know people like that who create drama cause they need drama to force people around them to say things like, but I love you, you're beautiful, I can't live without you, for examples. She may be the drama that Matt was referring to recently. And what has "distracted" him lately. I've noticed a change in Matt too and wonder if this drama in his life might have something to do with it.

    Reply
  55. Hmmm, interesting.

    After my weight gain from pregnancy, I had horrible body image too. So much so that I was too embarrassed to have sex with my husband anymore. My poor husband constantly (tried) to reassure me that I was sexy and beautiful. But I never believed him. I just convinced myself that he was saying those things cause he wanted sex lol! But now that we are no longer married (10 years later), but still very good friends and have great talks now, I finally believe him lol! But it's what ruined our marriage.

    Ladies, believe your men when they say those things. Yes they want sex but they also love you and think your beautiful too!

    Reply
  56. @Tierney, I'm actually a size 0 or 2 in all my clothes. At my heaviest I was around a 4, maybe a 6 (I've got a small frame, so I look thin but very healthy now). You can imagine how skinny I was when I was 10/15 pounds lighter. I would try on size 0s and they would be too big. No wonder guys liked me better with the extra weight!

    Reply
  57. Oh, but when I was first putting on weight my boyfriend at the time was not supportive. He was the only one who didn't like it (maybe he thought it was too much) and told me my butt was getting big. This really fueled more issues. I think feedback from your significant other can be very important.

    Reply
  58. Man, that need for confidence or assurance is tricky. It drove a wedge between me and my ex-. I wasn't confident about my gifts and good qualities, and sought frequent re-assurance, and that made me increasingly less attractive to her, which only continued the cycle of needing *even more* reassurance. Tragic, really. Don't know what it takes to break it internally- maybe a good counselor of some sort.

    Like Another Survivor- we have a better relationship now than we had for a long time while we were together- I no longer need to rely on her almost exclusively for connection and sense of confidence and self-esteem. Now I troll 180 and have people commend me for my oh-so-thoughtful comments. :-)

    Kidding aside- I find I feel surprisingly more confident and capable outside of the way we related day to day. Sometimes people just bring out each other's worst, even if they have lots of love for one another.

    Reply
  59. Kate,
    I guess a lot of it would depend on WHY you developed the eating disorder. If you are just doing it for attention, then giving attention would reinforce it. Kind of like someone who pretends to be in pain so they can get oxytocin versus someone who is genuinely in severe pain. The same medicine that is good for the genuine person, will be bad for the person with other motivations.

    I assume your case was was genuine, and this is why you would have found that helpful.

    Reply
  60. Rob, at the risk of sounding like I stole this line from a movie…

    I think you have a lot of special gifts and qualities.

    Will you marry me? :-)

    Reply
  61. I don't see how someone could fake anorexia. Either they are doing the behavior or they are not. If they Whether you start being anorexic deliberately or not you are still doing the very harmful stuff to yourself. Who cares why the guy is gonna jump off the ledge, the first thing is to stop him.

    Do you think if your sister was cutting herself for attention, that you would have the same lack of compassion?

    Putting a sign on the fridge was probably just some woo woo bullshit dieting technique. It is also a cry for help. Shouldn't that cry be answered?

    Reply
  62. Another Survivor- that's so sweet. My first internet proposal- thanks!

    :-)

    I might be at Matt's WAPF talk this fall- let's elope there!

    Reply
  63. Wow, so many comments to catch up on.

    @Amy–it's very heartening to hear that your metabolism recovered from the ED mangle. Your posted food intake sounded very low indeed (no snacks at all? just three small meals? (of course, I don't eat pizza and have no clue of the calories of it) but if you were eating to appetite, that sounds great. I was never 'big' either but at this point am still wearing more around my midriff than I'm comfortable with, as I heal my metabolism. I'm glad to hear from someone who's had it normalize.

    @Tierney, yes, I know that guys get so fed up with it, and so 'lost.' I also knew (in treatment centers) some women who 'chose' anorexia because they thought it was glamorous: they were annoying because they talked up the glamor part and wouldn't own any of the rest of it.

    Agree that therapy is essential, and I think that's key for the 'getting help' versus 'attention getting from loved ones' dynamic. For loved ones, there's a fine line that has to include reassuring someone that they're beautiful but also insisting that the behavior is unacceptable–self destructive to them and also to those around them.

    @Jenny–as Matt was pointing out, anorexia behaviors are a slippery slope, I don't think it's a 'black and white' thing. And you can't always tell from someone's weight either. But I appreciate your analogy with cutting, etc, that the cry for help should be heeded.

    There is definitely an 'attention getting' aspect with EDs, but esp with anorexia, there's also a 'pushing people away' element. I've never been so alone and isolated as I was in the depths of the disorder.

    I had an online journal at the time, and after I'd gotten a bit better, a number of people came out and said that they'd loved my writing but quit reading because they were so sure I was going to die. And 'in real life,' some of my classmates in grad school came out and said the same thing: they were so glad that they were no longer wondering what day it would be that I died. But at the time, none of them talked to me! They had to protect themselves–otherwise they'd have been hurt too. But if someone had intervened, maybe the recovery progress would have started sooner…

    Reply
  64. Jenny,
    People fake problems all the time,'especially people who have issues with extreme attention seeking behaviors. But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't have compassion for them. They are obviously very troubled individuals if they are so needy for attention. Just like the drug addict who fakes pain to get the drugs is obviously very troubled if they are willing to go to such extremes to get drugs. We should be compassionates to the addict and help them, but not the same way we would help the person who is in extreme physical pain. You would only be hurting the addict more by treating them the same.

    Reply
  65. Oh wow, Rob, I'm so honored to be your first. This is a first for me too, being the proposer, and even sight unseen :-)

    No doubts, though, that the outer beauty will be as pleasing to the eyes as the inner beauty is pleasing to the heart and mind. No, I didn't steal that from a movie either… it's all mine lol!

    Eloping sounds like a great plan to me too. I'm the kinda lady who prefers an intimate getaway over a big for show wedding :-)

    So I'll be there! And no worries, I am beautiful, inside and out :-)

    Reply
  66. Raises Hand**
    Can I be your maid of honor, ok matron of honor Another Survivor and Rob?
    I was first to ask so I have dibs all you other gals.

    maybe Matt can be best man and his gf, Ela, Sheila, Jenny the nipper, and all the other women here can be bridesmaids.

    Oh I can see it now at Nourishing Traditions, a raw milk toast and a cake made with grass fed raw butter, raw cream, raw honey, pastured eggs and coconut flour (gluten free is a must!).
    LOVE you guys,
    deb

    Reply
  67. Oops…

    I meant to say, "that YOUR outer beauty" rather than "that THE outer beauty" :-)

    Reply
  68. Deb–I'm in! I always wanted to be a bridesmaid when I was a little kid–thought that I never could be, because I'm dark-complected and brunette, not pink and blonde.

    I like the ref to (Caspar)? Milk Toast!

    Reply
  69. I've got a question about the whole "feeling worse because your detoxing" thing after you've been eating healthy for a while. Is there any legitimacy to it, or is it just a bad excuse to keep people on the wrong food ratios (or something)?

    Reply
  70. Sweet- this is taking off! We can have a big 180 bash at the conference/elopment ceremony.

    Sight unseen, I believe you're beautiful inside and out, AS. Me too!

    See Matt- 180 is all about love and bringing people together. :-D

    Reply
  71. If say the person's base metabolic rate is 1000 caloriesa day then they would only want to take in 33g of fat a day. So always keep fat at 30% of base metabolic rate, not daily total calorie burn which should be much greater. Keep the carbohydrate intake at 20% of base metabolic rate. You may find you need more carbohydrates than that, so you may want to go as high as 20% of total daily calorie burn. It really depends on how active or busy your lifestyle is. This is of course for fat loss, not for maintaining bodyweight.

    Reply
  72. Rob, no doubt. And I'm sure I'll spot you right away… the sexiest, I mean, the most handsome guy in the room :-)

    Reply
  73. Ela, I am pink and brunette lol! See: https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1kpO_jDg64cN0jd37RcBrKvRi1zUPJMGZR7nFZcPYoGw (that pic will disappear shortly lol!)
    But it looks like you are about to have your childhood dream come true. I'd be happy to have you as a bridesmaid… no matter what colors you are :-)

    Deb, absolutely, you can be matron of honor! :-) And, if Rob is okay with it, feel free to take care of all those little details too. No doubt, once he and I meet, we'll be the only two people in the room. And as soon as we say, "I do", we'll be sneaking off to share our special gifts! :-)

    And to the rest of you who have commented since the proposal…

    Rob and I are having an incredibly romantic moment here and you keep talking about nutrition!? Like this is some nutrition blog or something ;-)

    Reply
  74. OK now Rob A we need a picture of the groom! The bride is gorgeous btw :)
    Thanks for accepting me as matron of honor. I promise not to get drunk, do crack or eat PUFA's on your wedding day.
    Right Hand over my heart, and left hand, fingers crossed behind my back.

    Reply
  75. Yes, you are beautiful!

    Thanks for sharing. Deb, you have me laughing out loud with your crossed fingers and no-wedding-day PUFAs.

    Reply
  76. hee hee thanks Ela, notice I made no mention of avoiding fructose, the other evil ingredient :) Wedding Cake= good stuff xo

    Reply
  77. @Ela, those were nyc slices which are huge (and one loaded with bacon). My lunch must have been at least 1000 calories if I had to guess. I don't normally snack at work unless I'm staving – too busy. Yes, your metabolism can recover. My nutritionist said at the get-go it takes about a year, but I had some relapses so it took longer. You have to let go though and just accept that weight gain is part of the healing process. When you're terrified of gaining weight that is the hard part.I eat to appetite now, whatever I want and it seems fine so I assume I'm healed. It took 4 years and Rrarf was really what finally fixed it altogether (I never overfed though, just ate to appetite). Eating the food I guess

    Reply
  78. Aww, you ladies are so sweet! Thank you :-)

    Let the record show that I named them matron and bridesmaid BEFORE the compliments, not AFTER lol! :-)

    Deb, hey feel free to get drunk and do as much crack as you want. The groom and I will be too busy to notice lol! But although Rob and I are a bit less convinced on the whole all PUFAs are bad thing, you better not do PUFAs, cause the best man wouldn't like it lol! (just kiddin, Matt)

    BTW, Deb, you had me cracking up too! You so funny! :-)

    Reply
  79. @Amy–thanks. That sounds right. I like the sound of four years for metabolism to get right: my ND said at one point that it might take me fifteen years because of the length of time, relapses, etc. I'll take the lower number, recognizing that we're all different.

    Reply
  80. @Ela, just keep believing you can do it! It's half the battle. Sounds like you're on the right track.

    Reply
  81. Thanks, Amy–yes, hanging out on here tends to be a huge help in believing I can 'do it,' so here I am!
    Thanks, Matt, and All!

    Reply
  82. Eating 30g of fast digesting protein in the morning speeds up metabolism. I found my heart beats per a minute is lower in the morning until I eat plenty of protein. The faster you raise your metabolism the faster the calorie burn. Eggs, milk, whatever protein sources you eat for breakfast. You don't have to count protein as calories because protein burns 1 and 1 3rd it's weight when converted to fat or glucose. It's difficult for someone to go over 200g of protein a day anyway. Don't have too many fatty sources of protein. While protein doesn't make you gain weight, the excess fat calories will make you gain weight.

    Reply
  83. I resemble that compliment ! Thank you kindly JR, you are a gentleman and a scholar xo

    Reply
  84. I am sorry to say that my metabolism has never really recovered and I've been ETF'ing for years now, although only the last two in a good WAPF/Stoner way, low PUFAs and all that. But I am pretty sure I will be on thyroid for the rest of my life and it is always a struggle to optimize. I guess I should feel thankful that I never got more than 25 pounds overweight. Currently more like 15 eating as much as I want. I guess I can live with that especially after two kids. But I'm sitting here with a thermometer in my mouth and it's reading 97.6- and that's better than normal…

    oh well. ETF- what else can you do. I even had some Easter candy today from my kid's Easter basket heheh.

    Reply
  85. JT!!!!! Again I blame my poor iPhone skills for bad spelling errors

    Reply
  86. @Tierney, what kind of thyroid do you take? I'm curious what you mean by 'struggle to optimize.' I take naturthroid and it seems to work fine: before that, I took timed-release T3 and my thyroid continued to plummet–but I was in the midst of a relapse and enormous malabsorption at the time–never thought anyone could lose weight with a whacked out thyroid, but I lost a lot, and gained much of it back pretty quickly, of course, when I addressed things. So maybe the naturthroid works better because in so many other aspects I'm healthier…

    Reply
  87. Deb, yeah I know all of my posts are going to have at least one word that is off. Seriooosly, typing everything on a phone is not easy for me, and going back to fix it is way too much effort for a comment.

    Reply
  88. Yep I agree but I like to try to correct stuff. ;-)

    Reply
  89. I don't know about fat making you gain weight. I've lost 40 lbs in the past year, and when I've entered my food on fitday it looks like I eat at least 50% fat (don't kill me Matt:) 20% protein and 30% carbs.
    No Pufas though.

    Kate

    Reply
  90. This is a very sweet post Matt!

    If I may, I request all men reading this who prefer a few curves to proclaim this publicly and admit this to their friends!

    I met my now husband after graduating college. It was "kismet" but that had to wait several years until our paths crossed again many years later. At the initial meeting I was overweight, but looking back at pics I was not large by any stretch. Hubby has since admitted he always liked how I looked, but I guess J Lo types weren't "in" at the time, and his friends teased him about me. Had he just admitted his preference …..

    As to the person (sorry too lazy to read back for the name) who became deliberately anorexic I would add that there was a deliberate part to my bulimia.

    I lost around 30 lbs on a crash diet and the attention was amazing. I equated that thinness with being attractive and somewhere in my mind I felt I would never be truly attractive weighing more. Once the weight was off, I read about eating disorders and how people controlled weight by throwing up, ipecac, laxatives, etc. The thought probably would never have occurred to me. That said, at some point this went beyond my control. I didn't want to be a bulimic which pretty much turned to a serial dieter/binger.

    My reality is that I could do a Ned Kock style "correlator" study on my weight vs. attention from men. If so many men really feel this way, why is that then? Could it all just be that I carry myself better when thinner? I don't believe that could be the only thing …

    Reply
  91. See, I knew it! Absolutely ADORABLE! :-)

    That was my first time using google docs too. Took me a minute to figure out how to get mine published to the web lol! Sorry you missed it. But maybe it's true what they say about seeing the bride before the wedding?

    What do you think, ladies, if I show him the pic, will it be bad luck? lol! :-)

    Reply
  92. Okay, let's hope she didn't see this. It's been a couple of days now so time to out some fine details. Do me a favor everyone and try not to discuss too much about her in the future or in other threads. I don't think she would like it. But, her details are too important not to share, especially if hundreds of people with eating disorders and body image issues are going to read this comment over the many years that it will be posted here….

    First off, it should not be a surprise that I'm attracted to someone who is not like me. I don't want to have sex with myself. I've been doing that for months! (Okay, years).

    JT-

    Extreme attention seeker = hit nail on head

    There's a reason she was able to go 4 years without paying for a drink and her looks were only part of the equation. It was mostly attributed to what she would do when she got into the bar!!!

    She grew up a chubby kid that was constantly harrassed by her family members. Her parents never even told her that they loved her. If that doesn't make someone an attention seeker what would?

    But still, in adulthood she managed to overcome body image issues, ETF, and be extraordinarily desired at 150-160 pounds by every thing that moves and likes women (she is average height, like 5'6").

    When she got pregnant her appetite went ballistic. She gained up to 250. From what she's told me she may have singlehandedly driven Red Lobster's stock price up. She ate tons of seafood, but she is a serial PUFA killer. Doesn't care for sweets nearly as much as chips.

    She lost weight back down to 150 after pregnancy by eating 1 meal per day for a year. Even doing this she didn't have any overt anorexic symptoms. She had never had an irregular menstrual cycle. It was a running joke with her friends – like they could set their watches to it.

    cont….

    Reply
  93. What is particularly alarming about her case though, is that she has massive seizures – typically a couple of times per year. This was the cause of my "drama and crisis" recently. They are stress-induced, and I happen to think that eating nothing is extremely dangerous for her – and she has a natural death wish kind of way about her and buttloads of self-directed guilt – kind of the antithesis of my greatest priority (sacred self that is, the original name of this blog).

    BTW, her body temperature has always been really low – like below 96 degrees and never over 98.6 even with a severe fever. She is cold all the time and doesn't run the A/C in her house even in summer in Florida (90 degrees +).

    Her overt and totally new anorexia symptoms include (lowest weight 128):

    -Peach fuzz on face and a little patch over the thyroid gland
    -Obsession with food and nutrition facts, like sodium content
    -Hatred and disgust about fat people. She tells her daughter not to become fat because "fat people don't have friends" (cringe-worthy every time)
    -Cracked fingernails
    -Hair loss (had seizure in the arms of the plumber – fixing the clogged shower)
    -Even more severe coldness, won't go to the beach if it's below 75 degrees
    -slow wound healing
    -frequent illness
    -loose skin/loss of skin elasticity
    -Menstrual irregularity
    -Severe constipation (partly attributed to laxative abuse)

    These are all first-time symptoms for her.

    cont…

    Reply
  94. Anyway, seeing that my last girlfriend went from anorexia-induced no period and an autoimmune disease to perfect cycle and no autoimmune disease, a body temperature of 99.2, and a rock solid body of 128 pounds that recently caught the attention of a photographer specializing in photographing outdoor, athletic, non-anorexic beauties – I'd say I got a handle on this shit.

    So far so good. She has lost all the water retention in her face, gained 8 pounds (pants still fit pretty well), is no longer cold all the time and didn't even have the comforter over her last night, has noticeably clearer skin, and is well on her way.

    Since I've been accused of sounding arrogant and self-righteous lately, I'll just go with that…

    You guys think I'm good at helping people with this stuff over the internet, you should see me in person. I'm like Zorro with this shit. I'll have this chick burning 98.6 and seizure-free by summer at the latest.

    How's that?

    Reply
  95. Matt, have her try some Brewer's Yeast. That's what my wife used to get over her seizures. Plus it was like she was on Prozac when she was taking it regularly.

    Reply
  96. Matty Stone- keeping it real. Right on man- good on you for helping the lady!

    Reply
  97. C'mon ladies- tell the Bride to pay no mind to that silly superstition! Don't leave me hanging!

    Reply
  98. @Rob A and AS–I say you should get to see her! It was just bad luck that you missed the pic, which you would have seen otherwise, and nowadays most people know far more than just a pic of the person they're to marry with no bad luck accrued!

    Reply
  99. @Matt–thanks for sharing the story! Like I said, it makes the whole case so much more compelling, powerful and interesting.

    That list of symptoms is like a checklist of severe anorexia situation. You are doing a great service by showing that a person doesn't have to be emaciated to have those symptoms. I was in-patient with two different women who would probably have been classed as overweight, but who were hospitalized not for COE but for anorexia/bulimia. It depends where you start from.

    The seizure thing–any drug use? Or self-induced vomiting? (That's where I've known people have seizures.) But agreed: self-starving or infrequent eating is a super-no-no.

    It's such a vicious cycle with those symptoms: it's hard to love yourself when your hair's all falling out and wounds aren't healing and you're constipated: you just feel gross. And if you're 'feeling fat' too, then the whole exercise, that was ostensibly supposed to help you feel better, makes you feel so much worse.

    The comments to the daughter–so sad. Fear of doing something like that is one of the (many) reasons I'll never have children. You know there's a genetic link too? It turns out that three of my cousins/second cousins had ED's (and we didn't even grow up in the same countries, so it wasn't a copycat thing).

    Reply
  100. One more thing: I'm so glad that you're on this case: people have to want to change in order for the change to take place–this is something I've always believed–but in the case of EDs, volition goes wonky. Even believing in that, I know that at times there was a part of me that wished that someone would take me in hand and lead me out of the hole.

    So I'm all for your intervention, but encourage (I'm sure you know this already) that you be sensitive to her need for autonomy and self-direction also.

    Reply
  101. Ela-

    You have no idea how sensitive I am to that. I'm the ultimate encourager of people being themselves, doing what they want without any obligation to anyone or anything, etc. I've already got her following forgotten dreams, filling her life with what she wants to be doing so she has less time to deal with crap she hates. I'm not a bully at all.

    Sometimes it's hard to understand what brings two people together. In this case it is very clear.

    She has been on several meds for her seizures since age 7. Better bust out the brewer's yeast!

    Reply
  102. Matt, see you really are a softy. Thanks for sharing that with us. And if she finds out, hopefully, she'll see that you're just being her superhero! Takes a special kinda "man" to take that on. Hope she sees that. Wishing you both the best! :-)

    PS. Sorry for hijacking your post with our wedding engagement. But, hey, you started it… putting all that romance in the air with that incredibly sweet video! :-) But I am a tiny bit hurt, not even so much as a congrats from the best man of the very first 180 Wedding!

    Reply
  103. Bride –

    You have no idea the depths of my pathetic softness.

    I'd give you some congrats but I'm just jealous. Those well-formed nostils of yours and all. Must be nice to be able to breath. Sometimes sucking air into my degenerate nose feels like trying to suck pudding through a garden hose.

    Ah what the hell. I'll cater the wedding for free. Real buttercream frosting on the cake. Giant buckets of creamed corn. Proscuitto-wrapped tenderloins piled to the sky. No salad. Should be good.

    Reply
  104. @Matt–yes, you do come across as sensitive to all that: like I said, I thought you probably were wise to that side of things.

    But, not being nitpicky, just watching your back– maybe let her take the credit. It's so tempting to say things like
    "I've already got her following forgotten dreams…"
    …and it's so natural to want some credit for the good that you're doing. But her transformation will be its own credit and it will show without you needing to say anything.

    (And of course, you're among friends here and can say what you like.)

    Reply
  105. I KNEW it, I goddamn KNEW it!

    Until now I just thought this was another silly theory of mine, but after reading all this, I finally know.

    I know what you're up to Matt. You're turning women into (literally) smoking hot, dietary completely unrestrained bueaties by the dozen. You're creating an army of beautiful 180D-women. But what for? I can't fathom that just yet. Are you taking the 180D-cult to another level? Obviously I haven't uncovered the complete secret yet, but I am on your heels, Matt! I will find out.

    Reply
  106. The Bride–good on you for sharing again. And who knows–maybe a double wedding with Matt and Beautiful?

    Reply
  107. I really really really hope this wedding actually happens. I want to be there! And eat the buttercream frosting!

    Dibs on being the DJ!

    Reply
  108. Mattie Cakes:
    You are truely the best medicine for your gal, that is for sure. I hope that you can help her with seizures. I know how hard it is to get off meds and not seize doing it.
    You are softer than the Charmin bear my friend and me likey that about you. I always knew it but no one believed me :)

    DA Bride and Rob A your future hubby: I want to see the specimin that is Rob A! Can I wear something fun for the wedding like a Wonder Woman costume or no?
    xoxoxo
    deb the matron of honor

    Reply
  109. Man, I feel like a kid, with a big silly grin on my face. To my lovely lady-to-be- score!

    To everyone else- 180 party in the house. Yeah!

    :-D

    Reply
  110. Matt, you're cookin?! Okay, I forgive you! :-)

    Ela, you did it again. A double wedding… I like the way you think! And I also liked your suggestion to Matt to let her take the credit. But I will add…

    Matt, wait for her to give you the credit (maybe saying something like, "I don't know what I woulda done without you."). Then give the credit back to her (maybe saying something like, "you did it."). Then you know she credits you and she knows you credit her. You did it together… you both get the credit and feel good about it :-)

    Then let us know as soon as you propose to her (or she proposes to you;-) cause I, and I'm sure Rob too, would be honored to have a double wedding with you and beautiful!

    But I hope that still means you're cookin… we would show up just for the food lol!

    Oh, and thanks for your compliments on my nose, I think?? lol! :-)

    Seriously, Matt, there's nothing pathetic about that kind of softness… it's the kind of "strength" that all women need from their men. And it takes a real man to be that soft (strong).

    Reply
  111. To my handsome man-to-be, SWEEET! (to your "score!")

    Gazelle, you called it, it's yours… you da DJ!

    madMUHHH, he's makin the men hot too.

    Deb, you are a wonder woman, so of course you should wear your wonder woman costume! :-) Oh, and the groom posted his pic, did you not catch that? Now I know what the "A." stands for. Adorable!

    Reply
  112. Yeah, that was a nose compliment. I went all Weston A. Price on your ass. Sorry.

    Trust me, she'll get the credit. I only toot my own horn here excessively because I don't take any of the credit in my personal life.

    Aurora, after "I" fixed all of her problems for her, would go around saying,

    "Yeah, Matt's a health writer. Since we've been living together I've gained 10 pounds."

    That was a real confidence builder, up there with…

    "I can't believe you f'n cried at Toy Story 3. You are so f'n sensitive."

    That's what it's like when you are obsessed with women who kick ass and take names. Just part of the program. I'm trying to change that relationship pattern. Of course Aurora just keeps on eating more and more carbs and looking progressively hotter, gaining 8 pounds and fitting into smaller clothing. Damn life is cruel sometimes!

    Reply
  113. I cried at the 5 minute short in Up, chronicling the lives of Mr and Mrs Fredrickson.

    Take that, softie Matt!

    Reply
  114. The Bride–yes, your correction to my suggestion is better.

    And Matt, sure, toot away! Some bitterness around rosy-fingered dawn (Aurora), I sense? Maybe you need women around you who value you and think you're awesome, not dump resentment. Even if she's super-hot, non-loving behavior isn't hot.

    I love guys who cry when their hearts are stirred.

    Reply
  115. Dude, Rob. I did too. We gotta get it together man! Can't wait to see you at the conference and exchange a warm hug. Cry on my shoulder if you need to.

    Ela –

    Not too bitter about Aurora. Bitter that what you can't have in life is so damn attractive, and what comes easily is a turn off!!!

    Trying to get used to being worshipped here by a serial man pleaser, and limit my admiration of the recent photos of Aurora to 5 minutes per day with no sobbing (joking here, sort of). Not used to this at all. Neither is she (I'm a serial woman-pleaser, I've even been doing her laundry, sigh).

    Ah well, we'll figure it out.

    Okay, I'm off for a grueling 4-minute workout. Have a good weekend peeps.

    Reply
  116. "I only toot my own horn here excessively because I don't take any of the credit in my personal life."

    Aww, you can "have" the credit. It just feels so much better–for both, when someone else (especially your special one) "gives" it to you, than "taking" it :-)

    Sorry, things didn't work out with your last gf (her loss), but maybe it's because "beautiful" is the one!

    Hey, but I do get the turn on by the "kickin ass and takin names" thing. That's one of the things that got my attention about my future hubby… callin people out when they needed a good kick in the ass around here. That's hot! You're good at that too, Matt, but you know I gotta say my man is the best! :-) And the way he admitted his weaknesses (when we were all announcing ours), was damn hot too!

    Psst, Rob, you really are the best. But, shh, don't tell Matt.

    Ela, not correction. I prefer to think of it as great minds think alike. Speaking of, I too think men who are strong enough to cry are hot! :-)

    Reply
  117. @The Bride–amen to great minds thinking alike.

    @Matt–"Bitter that what you can't have in life is so damn attractive, and what comes easily is a turn off!!!"

    You said it–not just greener grass on the other side of the fence–more slenderizing oj on the other side of the PUFA…

    The only time I got dumped was in Florida, by a guy who wooed me heavily in HI when he was visiting there, but wasn't nearly as into me when I came to visit him (on his invite) in FL. He confessed to having a serious (serial) problem with chasing women, talking all commitment, and then getting turned off when they got into it.

    Enjoy that workout–dry heaves surely not really necessary?

    Reply
  118. Matt,
    Let's hope we can all respect your privacy and hers in future threads, BUT while we're on this one…

    My BFF is interested in hormonal changes in people who "fall in love" or are in new relationships. He's observing a female friend of his who is in a new relationship. She's riding pretty high right now. She has the urge to clean, organize, and take better care of her living space (not because the love interest visits….the love interest lives out of state). The female friend in the new relationship is in a good mood, has a suppressed appetite, has more interest in going outdoors (she's usually a laptop on the sofa gal) and is more interested in being socially active.

    I told him I'd ask you if you knew anything about the physical explanations for all this. What's going on hormonally??

    Since you might be living it now, and you tend to like being a guinea pig for your own experiments…just wondering what light you might shed.

    Reply
  119. Lisa, oooh, interesting comments/questions. I was about to post something, actually back on topic (lol!), but then saw your comments.

    I've heard about that before. How hormones change with all the different stages of love/relationships. Very curious to hear Matt's and everyone's thoughts on it too.

    Reply
  120. Okay, also on topic (lol!)…

    I thought of this earlier, when I read CarbSane’s last comments, but this is first chance I got to comment about it–I had to catch up cause my day got away from me–cause I got "distracted" :-) Anyway…

    CarbSane, I loved your last post! So true! I think the reason men don't speak up about it is BECAUSE of the teasing.

    Perfect example is, Matt felt the need to publicly refer to his softness as pathetic… to beat any (pathetic) men who would tease him about it, to the punch. Very clever of you btw, Matt. Now they can't rag you cause you beat 'em to it.

    It's a vicious cycle. And the skinny = beautiful message in the mainstream perpetuates it. Men are afraid to speak up, so women believe the messages. Then when a man does speak up to the lady in his life, she doesn't believe him, because of it. That's why I didn't believe my ex. I thought he was just saying what he thought he was supposed to say (with good intentions of course). No, I didn't think it was all about sex lol! But I finally "got it" years later, that I really was beautiful to him, and he really did love the shape of my body, even with the extra weight.

    Before pregnancy, I never had a weight problem or body image issues. Never even thought about it. I've always had the hourglass figure and a nice rounded butt, that I've always gotten compliments about… from both guys and gals. I loved my curves too, and my butt! :-)

    But then after pregnancy, I freaked out about the extra weight, because of the messed up messages out there. And for the first time in my life, I became self-conscious about my weight. I think that's when many of us get into trouble (if no prior body image issues). Because of the strong message that only skinny women are pretty, we become desperate to lose the extra pregnancy weight, and start dieting AND feeling ugly! And so the dieting/body image roller coaster begins.

    I only lost the weight after I went back to the way I lived (and thought) BEFORE pregnancy. I stopped thinking about my weight and just ate to appetite. I always ate mostly wholesome (before it was the "in" thing to do lol!), because that's what I liked. But I didn't restrict or deprive myself of anything. If I wanted something sweet, I ate it. I ate whatever I wanted. And then gradually, my body went back to my natural weight.

    Ladies, don't think about it. And yes, it IS easy for me to say, because I’ve been there… AND back. Just be good to yourself and your body. Eat whatever feels good for you when you are hungry (not saying you can eat junk all the time–and you know eating nothing but junk doesn't really feel right). Also, focus on something that you're passionate about and makes you feel good/happy (which takes your mind off of your weight). Don't expect it to happen overnight, but your body will respond positively as time goes by (living this way–notice I said “living” not “eating” this way). Stress is a factor. It can be more mental than physical or about food alone.

    Guys, like CarbSane said, speak up and tell your truths. If you like a little junk-in-the-trunk, say so and don't care who knows it! It could change the world :-)

    If only we could all just feel like it's okay to be our authentic selves, being true to ourselves and others and speak our truths…

    It's funny, when I look back before my pregnancy, I lived a truthful life (never even considered not doing so before). And I didn't care what everyone ‘out there’ thought, because I believed in me. But somewhere along the way, I lost me. It took a while but I got back there. I got me back and I'm lovin it! :-)

    I sooo wish this for everyone! Including your beautiful new girlfriend, Matt.

    PS. sorry for the length of my post, for I didn't have the time to make it short–err, somethin like that lol! And I just let this one fly without proof reading–typos and all lol!

    Reply
  121. Part 1

    My post must have been taken off because it was too long so I'll cut it up. I'm sure their are varying levels of anorexia and bulimia. Whatever the case being aware of the metabolism can help in many cases. Some people may call themselves anorexic or bulimic but may not have the mental disorder, but follow the same habits to lose the weight. Even those that do have the disease, being aware of certain factors such as how metabolism works may relieve them from their self destructive path.

    Reply
  122. Part 2

    In both anorexia and bulimia the person chooses not to digest calories. They want to lose the fat and have an attractive figure. In their minds if they lose weight this will be accomplished. They don't understand how the metabolism works. So the only thing they can figure out is to eat nothing. They're basicly fasting. They see weight loss on the scale but it's mostly muscle protein and water weight. When they eat protein rich foods again and drink water they find they're gaining weight so they starve themselves even more even though all they put back on was muscle and water weight. All their logic tells them is that the weight on the scale is the best indicator that they're reaching their goals. As they starve themselves they go into ketosis leading to increased free fatty acid synthesis. After three weeks their body is burning 90% energy as fat. They slowly lose fat but they're losing muscle protein a lot faster even with this elevated free fatty acid burning. A pound of fat contains almost 7 times as many calories as a pound of muscle so muscle can be burned off much quicker. When one consumes no protein, especially in the morning their metabolism slows down even more sow fat loss is slowed down greatly. The reason for this is they're losing muscle proteins so their metabolism is slowing down. Your metabolism and fat burning is increased by how much muscle protein and fat free lean body mass your body has. They're also looking in the mirror and realizing their figure isn't looking better, so they think if they starve themselves they'll eventually look good. It doesn't help that people of the opposite sex aren't showing interest in them because they look pale, fragile, and sickly. Their are a lot of ways to lose fat, which is what one wants.

    Reply
  123. Part 3

    Losing the "weight" isn't going to give you what you want. Also, it's not necessarily the fat you carry that causes the undesired figure. It's the lack of built muscle to give you that desired shapely look and increase metabolism so you can eat more without getting out of shape. When you gain muscle, even maintaining the same bodyfat, you may find you've acquired the figure you desire. So quality bodyweight exercises and eating to build those muscle while maybe losing the bodyfat is the goal. Exercising and eating healthy in the healthy portions helps with aging, self image, feeling good, and personal performance in all avenues of life. It can also help to do exercise in the form of activities you enjoy such as sports, hiking, and dancing.

    Reply
  124. Part 4

    I've read women need atleast 30% fat intake for base metabolism to keep their moods stable. Probably helps with appetite satiety too. Eating enough carbohydrates to spare muscle protein loss and catabolism is very important. There are many different ways to lose fat such as supplementation, nutrition, and lifestyle. Everyone has a different budget and lifestyle so they would need to follow a different system based on those factors. They also have certain habits and so different systems work for different people. The goal is to find the system that works. For rapid fat loss you could take in far less calories, or it could be you'd eat more calories but follow a different macronutrient ratio. When maintaining you can take in 3 times as many calories while maintaining your desire figure. So somtimes people get the results they want when they increase calories.

    Reply
  125. Sideways–your earlier post came into my inbox, but I didn't see it up here so didn't respond. I think there are some problems with your assumptions here. Many anorexics don't want to have healthy muscle tone for 'that shapely look': they want to be literally skeletal. (Used to be me.) At my worst, I could very little distinguish between fat and muscle–(it's a weird side-effect of being emaciated that I've noticed both in anorexics and in some raw-foodists: you think pretty much anyone who isn't emaciated is 'fat').

    Worse yet, as well as men who like 'junk in the trunk,' there are men who fetishize that deathly look, stalk ana forums and give praise to pics when even other anorexics are saying 'you've gone too far,' write erotica based on women who're about to faint from starvation all the time…

    Reply
  126. On 'Another Survivor's comments (bride-vivor?)–great points about stress, both mental and physical.

    I've been having some questions about the 'eat when hungry' thing: maybe it's just my mind trying to twist me up, as it's come up for me since Amy said she doesn't snack because no time at work. I used to never snack, religiously, even if (as often) I was hungry. I used to notice that if I had a bite of something, I'd often feel hungrier right after.

    So, nowadays I tend to have between-meal snacks. And I started wondering whether I'm artificially increasing my appetite by so-doing, whether I'd be better off just trying to eat a little more at lunch and last through. My blood sugar is so much more stable now that I can even contemplate this. So, am I going off on an ana brainfart, or is there something to this as far as eating to appetite?

    Reply
  127. Matt, isn't it ironic the cover of your "180 Degree Metabolism" book has the photo of two very lean individuals with their abs showing?

    Reply
  128. Ela – As I said I don't believe everybody has the genuine disease but they follow the same habits because anorexia and bulimia habits are popular. I do think the knowledge will help some but not all. I've seen people that have gone from muscular to boney to dead so I know it won't help all. But I've seen a lot more people that are very ignorant of how the metabolism works, and when you inform them they follow a completely different system. So their only disease is not being informed. On another note much more muscle is lost when fasting than what I mentioned. Especially during exercise. It takes almost twice as much protein to replace the lost protein that was converted to glucose. So not a very effective strategy. Not you, but I'm sure this knowledge would be effective for others.

    Reply
  129. On another note it's more popular to be boney looking because of the models that appear in magazines. So people shoot for that aesthetic even though it's not attractive. I wonder why they never felt the muscular physique like Mark Sissons or Jillian Michaels is not desired. Probably because they don't think they can attain it, but if they realized they could and knew how then they might do that instead of becoming boney. Some but not all.

    Reply
  130. You can eat 50% fat and still lose weight. But it will probably take a lot longer. It really depends on what calorie deficit you have due to your lifestyle. It's probably easier for some people to do it that way but some may want to lose fat at a quicker rate for various reasons. A lot of people have an easier time going lower fat to lose fat. One reason being that people fully commit and go full blown in their goals and want quick results. Some people actually do get effective quick results, and a lot of others don't. Whatever you want to do.

    Reply
  131. Sideways–thanks for the clarification. And it is true that if people were better informed about physiology and biochemistry, they might be able to change their physique without falling into the ED hellhole. I've even seen people with EDs but not yet at the 'no return' point who've been able to claw back from the brink with some timely education. Thanks.

    Reply
  132. @Matt How do you done that fighting water retention of your former girlfriend??

    I've got that problem pretty much all my life, when I get out of bed I am a walking sheet…

    Even I try to eat extra sea salt about 1 gram everytime I drink some fluid but it don't seem to work.

    Any ideas? Everybody?

    Reply
  133. Matty, a big ole bear hug at Sally Fallon's place sounds good, buddy.

    Definitely interested in the hormonal changes that happen in love and in other times in our lives- it really is incredible how much of a role these little compounds have in the manifestation of ourselves.

    And thinking about the mind/body metaphorical connection of things (a la Louise Hay's 'You Can Heal Your Life')- a friend of mine was diagnosed recently as hypothyroid. Where's the thyroid? in the throat, which she associates with expression. Well, sure enough- things started changing in her life in a pretty dramatic way, instigated by her expressing things she'd tamped down for a good long while.

    Lo and behold, a bit of homeopathic support as well, and she followed up with normal panels where a short while ago the levels were low. (Now I know the difference between functional hypothyroid and clinical hypothyroid- she may still have type 2 with symptoms, even if panels are normal, blah, blah. I think it is significant though that things verifiably changed following her focusing on the mind-body connection).

    Makes me also think about Gabriel and obesity = starvation, and hypo-t as a means to respond to starvation. Certainly, in an emotional sense, you can say this person was starved for expresion. And the continual energy spent keeping that at bay may manifested (maybe) in a generalized slow down of the system.

    The power of emotions and expression- my goodness. I'm in awe of it all sometimes.

    Reply
  134. Holy crap been catching up on things here last couple days. We havina kickass 180 wedding party fo sho.

    @the bride and groom:

    What a cute couple. Congratulations on your engagement. I kind of hope this wedding really happens to. Its the hopeless romantic in me I guess. Plus Matt is catering I would show up for the food to.

    Rob A. said: Man, I feel like a kid, with a big silly grin on my face. To my lovely lady-to-be- score!

    You both look like kids. I have to ask how old are both of you? From the brides [another survivor] comments she can't be as young as she looks. Just doing the math. I mean that as a compliment. Your stunning and look very young. The groom looks real young to but maybe he has that not as young as he looks thing going for him to. Just curious. Either way you make a cute couple. You really should get married. Or at least keep it going until Matt is done cooking then you can call it off.

    @the bride:

    If the groom is to young for you [crossing fingers] I will marry you. Not that that was my sneaky plan all along bringing up the age thing. But just wanted to put it out there that I would step up. But lets have a spring wedding. Don't kick my ass Rob A. Can you blame me?

    Reply
  135. Rob A you are very cute and so is your doggie, hope your Bride is not allergic to pooches.
    Ok Slywester, what is a walking sheet?
    sorry just don't know what you mean there, are you pale, flat, wrinkly?
    :)
    Wonder Woman aka Matron of Honor

    Reply
  136. Slaphappy, hey, love is ageless! (or any other equally romantic expression lol!)

    That was hilarious! I didn't know whether to be flattered or offended by that, uh proposal(?) lol! Thanks, but I’m good :-)

    As for my age, I get that all the time. So much so that it’s a running joke in my life. People never believe me when they learn my age lol! I don’t mind saying my age–cause I love the age that I am now–but if you can guess, I’ll tell you if you’re close :-)

    Just to be clear, I wasn’t looking to get married. In fact, I had no plans to get married again. But Rob somehow got me to "propose" and even sight unseen! What does that tell ya? :-)

    BTW, Rob, I forgot to tell you before that since you showed me yours, I’ll show you mine… it's FutureMrsAdorable at the gmail :-)

    Deb, nope, no allergies. And I was also wondering what the f, uh, heck a walking sheet was lol!

    Reply
  137. @grass fed momma I got the imprint of the sheet on my whole back and arms.

    Reply
  138. Sylwester, thanks for clearing that up. It was just me missing something lol! But I get it now :-)

    Reply
  139. No problem xD I hope I get sme help with this issue!

    Reply
  140. Sylwester, I hope so too. Sorry I was no help.

    Anyone have any insights here?

    Perhaps if you list a few more details about your history and current diet, Sylwester, it may help us decipher what might be some possibilities in your case :-)

    Reply
  141. Hm, where to start…

    Try to make it short:
    2 years ago I did paleo for 2 1/2 months ala Kurt Harris @ PaNu.com at the beginning with 5gr carbs from cream. Carbphobia to the max. 1 month later more carbs (50gr. maybe) and later 150 gram, but crashed terribly.

    Got fat, pimples, etc. = walking dead, said to me it's transition/detox stuff.
    The worst I've gotten from this diet, yellow eyeballs, still today somedays, don't know why, but the constipation was quite the worst!
    up to 7 days no shitting. And one time I thought my gut will explode and I am gonna die…really scary shit…

    Today I still try to rehab, bowels are better now but got pimples (though very good now after cutting milk products out and eating more MUFAs/PUFAs (!) even coconut oil gives me breakout (unrefinde or refined (tropical matt's brand) doesn't matter) if it's my main fat.

    I think, I need some PUFAs for my skin, but I am not sure, got little phobic through Matt's Anti-PUFA thing.

    Eating, mainly pasta/toast,brown/white rice. Potatoes are giving me breakouts, the same with some sorts of rice like brown basmati rice, but white is good hm…
    Meat mainly poultry, some beef, some gelatin, some fish, sme eggs, no pork, low protein, low fat
    some peanutbutter, macadamia nuts, honey, juice and fruits since sucrose/peat articles/posts
    and no milk products maybe I introduce it back sometimes but for now, no.

    I am a little oriented with the Bloodtype diet, I know, it's actually bullshit, but so many things are true and I can identify with many things, maybe something is not so false!?

    But water retention was always a problem, doesn't matter on what diet, my joints are normal, but my skin gets imprints from my sheets or my shins from my socks. That's annoyin'…

    Since paleo I never ate added salt, and very low sodium, but don't know if that is the problem, now I eat added salt, and try to put it everywhere I can, if it's meals or water or after a workout.

    Sometimes it's better and sometimes not, so it's obviously not an issue with salt.
    When I was low sodium, my bloodwork showed normal sodium level hm…

    Yeah the human body is a fuckin' riddle…

    Reply
  142. Ah and happy easter!

    Reply
  143. Man, this heath stuff is so tricky- it'd be nice if we know what details to pay attention to, and which not to. Bleeding gums after a few days on a new diet- no sweat, or hit the brakes? Body temperature up- good or not?

    This is why I asked Matt what his rubric is in an earlier post. What's worth paying mind to? When are negative symptoms a cue to keep going, and when are they a cue to quit it? He says how you feel and function is key, but many people don't know how to read that accurately, and mis-interpret something like trouble with carbs as evidence that low carb as the way, and this is probably a mistake.

    So what's someone to do in experimenting? Having a story to make sense of different experiences is so fundamentally human and important- Matt, or others: maybe a set of guiding principles or even targeted advice for certain changes (like what to do to tolerate sugar better, or starch better, etc.) would be helpful? You said you don't have answers but to avoid inflammatory fats and proteins and eat a carby diet, but obviously that's not the whole story. You answer people who have specific symptoms with some specific knowledge- that's the info I mean that we don't have access to. That's the info that makes you confident that one person's flare up of acne and another person's clear up of dandruff are each good signs.

    Without that knowledge, all this info flows through you, and a guru thing emerges readily. It also is less stable for the posting community for reasons that we can observe here-with a distributed information network (like RRARF), lots of people can answer questions as well as you, and there's less of an information bottleneck. With specific questions, there's less of a sense that a poster other than you will have the same credibility in answering, and so the questioner may end up waiting for an answer that isn't forthcoming, and may be unsustainable for you too- I'm sure it's a drain on your energies to reply to lots of individual comments with the same level of completeness each questioner may like.

    Hmm- curious post this was. Turned into a plea for an open source distributed rhizomatic information network. Cool, I'll go with it.

    Publish the source code, man! :-)

    Reply
  144. How many models and fitness professionals are good role models? Can you follow their advice and get the same results? If there's something we haven't learned it can make staying fit very difficult. Eating can be a lot less time consuming and so can exercise. So the hardest part should be learning, if we know everything we need to know applying it should be easy. The biggest struggle would be maintaining our lives. Do we really need to eat 8 meals a day? I don't think so, especially if you're consuming liquid calories in there for your bulk carb maltodextrin intake. This would be necessary for bigger guys and women who run alot. Protein and fat are easy to consume, so they're not necessary to have in the form of liquid calories. We really don't have that much time to eat. I also saw that endurance runners can take in a lot of carbs through carb loading without their bellies getting stretched out and they stay flat. 125g of maltodextrin for every 16 oz of water. You can do this before and during workout. You can have 32oz of water an hour during workout with some carbs if you're running and lifting weights.

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>