I don’t know if I can help you too much because I am a 42 year old women and my issues are probably a lot different than yours but I was compelled to respond because I understand your frustration and fear. I have not gained as much weight as you have but I have gained a lot for my 5’2″ body. I have not allowed myself to weigh this much since I was 18, barring pregnancy weight gain. I started EFH in July and the weight gain and progress has been slow and steady, although, at first it came on pretty quickly. I would not have continued this had it not been for the positive progress. I can promise you, I would go back to restricting if not for the positive gains in my health. I would much rather be smaller than I am but I am at a point in my life that health is much more important than a number on the scale.
I really thought that I had stopped gaining weight but I haven’t. Today, I weighed myself after many weeks of staying off the scale. I felt so good about myself that I thought surely I had lost weight or at least I had maintained my weight from the last time I had weighed. No, I had gained a few more pounds. BUT, My temps are up enough now and I feel good enough now that I can do some serious weight lifting and I have had some major gains in strength that I did not have before because I was so tired and it took so long for me to recover from exercise. I think I was actually losing muscle before I began this journey. Now I believe a significant part of my weight gain is from muscle gain. I love that! I want to be strong and feel good!
I would say to you, focus on the positive gains in your health, listen to your body and ask yourself if going back to restricting is what is right for your health. Is the extra weight helping your body heal or not?
I hope I have helped you in some way. I know how hard it is to gain weight, believe me!
All the best to you on your journey to health!