oh joyous day, i’ve found my weird food eating tribe, yess!!!!
okay i might be the queen of weird of food eating here, as by age 12 i was already given the nickname of “condiment queen” during my infamous “red food only” phase where i only consumed ketchup, strawberry sauce, and any other condiment that was red…. i was a fucked up kid. by age 14 i was full swing into weird food and concoctions, all made in this stupid tea cup. of course i thought if i kept the weirdness in a tea cup, it was not as weird. whatever, blargh!
The Teen Years Phase: teenage angst in food formations.
yeah, so my teen years concoctions were basically: ketchup mixed with spices and mustards and relishes, eaten out of my cup. i would take baby carrots or other small foods and dip them in there, but mainly just eat the mixture. also made a daily sludge of grape nuts mixed with slim fast, choc powder, vanilla yogurt, and skim milk.. sometimes raisons would join the fun.
The turbulent i-don’t-give-a-fuck-i-hate-you phase: my 20’s consisted of even more bizarre, maniacal crap like siracha soup, which was just ketchup and siracha, thinned out a bit, and i’d eat big bowls of it with various small foods for variety and something to chew. on a healthy day, i’d have a bit of coffee with tons of fat-free creamers, 8 spoons of brown sugar and syrup.. with an egg white. of course.
The thirties… finally seeing the light… and it’s purple haze phase:
So now i’m in the middle of my 30’s. I began this with overloading my brain with every food fad from paleo to fruitarian and tried them all. I was Fit for Life when I was 16 during a small health kick, so decided i need a fresh start… oh how delusional i was. the main ‘healthy’ concoction of the 30’s always involved nut butter, coconut or MCT oil, flax or psyllium husks or both, honey, molasses, salt, more nuts, some random protein powder, beef gelatin, and a dash of cinnamon and tumeric of course!
Right now my concoction is a giant banana, date smoothie withe extra sugar because whatever, i crave sugar. after years of hating myself for it, i’m jumping in. let’s see what happens!