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you need to try something called tianeptine…it is a drug used in asia and europe for treating anxiety/depression. do some research on it and you will soon realize that a lot of people are finding it to be very helpful. I got mine from the link below:
Ray Peat talks a lot about how high serotonin levels as well as weak metabolism contribute to feelings of anxiety…in the meantime, get some benadryl, it works very well as an anti-anxiety. tianeptine makes me more resistant to stress and I am the same way as you. you are right, your never going to heal with the continued anxiety. tianeptine makes me feel like I can bounce back from stressors, whereas before stressors would give me cold feet and make urinate frequently. I am not fully healed yet, but I knew I would never get better in a stressed state. After all, stress is what got me here in the first place. DO NOT take anti-depressants, SSRI’s are dangerous and will make your situation worse. A lot of people may disagree with me, but intuitve eating will only get you so far. Tianeptine has been my crutch, along with lots of coke and red bull.