I totally get how trapped you can feel in an apartment with nothing to do. My solution is to CREATE. There is something very satisfying about making something that wasn’t there before and that could help give you something to appreciate about yourself. Whether it’s knitting/crocheting (my personal favorites), scrapbooking/making cards, baking, beading, woodcrafting, painting, drawing… You said money is tight so start small and try out your local freecycle and thrift stores for supplies. If you already have some talent with any of it it could become a supplemental source of income. If you want to learn something new there are SO many awesome free resources online for learning new crafty skills.
Try to think about all the things your wonderful, beautiful body allows you to do. Just because you don’t look like a model doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful. Your mind isn’t yet in a healthy place but I think if you keep telling yourself that you’re beautiful and capable you will find better success than when you keep telling yourself that you aren’t where you want to be. I don’t care if you don’t believe it, tell yourself anyway! :)
Hopefully my super-optimistic, self-loving, perspective can help a little at least.