@codys182 i agree that it’s contextual and varies from person to person. thanks for the long post! don’t apologize; more data is good. i’m glad you’re getting a handle on it for yourself!
i disagree maybe on one point:
according to my reading the majority of people classified as obese in america are failed dieters who were not initially anywhere as fat as they end up being after several cycles of fad diets. 95% of diets fail (after people initially lose weight, they soon stall and then promptly start putting it back on and then some; rinse, lather, repeat). so its not quite as simple as “overeating is real”, and i think we need to get off the train that shames people for eating — it just leads to more disordered eating.
still, i agree that somebody on the “extra fat gained” point of their diet cycle needs a somewhat different approach to refeeding than somebody who’s been, for example, anorectic. which is why i’m not eating pizza until it comes out my ears. ;) i am not restricting that, however — if i really, really want it, i can definitely have it. having ornery psychology means that therefore it’s actually been 6 months since i last had pizza, and i even stopped at 2 slices. we all need to learn to listen more closely to our bodies.