Have you considered a middle ground between starving yourself and ad libitum eating? As you know (probably much better than I do), those numbers you quoted are a little scary. A moderate diet and exercise plan might be what you need to keep them from getting worse. It’d be shame to start your new career as a nurse practitioner with diabetes and a looming heart problem.
I think people get burnt out on dieting because they take it to extremes and unnecessarily deny themselves, but I also think that good health requires certain limits. I’ve lost 40 pounds since last summer (and regained my health) basically by eating what I want, while watching portions and exercising. I understand that what works for me might not work for everyone, but watching your calorie balance might help you get some of those numbers under control.