Hi Alan, these all sound pretty normal to me. Edema is definitely a side effect of recovery from starvation, as is belly fat. Your hair can also fall out when you first start refeeding. It *should* start to regrow once you get nourishment in. Make sure you’re eating a nourishing diet so you know you’re getting enough vitamins and minerals. And eat on a regular schedule, too (like 3 meals plus 1-2 snacks, eaten on a regular schedule).
In terms of knowing when to eat, it sounds like you’re not tuned into your hunger signals (which I’m guessing is how you ended up underfed to begin with). Start paying attention to them, they will let you know how much to eat. And pay attention to why you’re eating as well as what you want to eat. It takes time, but once you get the hang of it you won’t have to worry, you will naturally fuel your body in an appropriate manner. Eat as mindfully as possible (i.e., not too fast and not while driving, or distracted on the computer, etc.) Don’t feel you have to be perfect right away, it can take a few months, but just start paying attention and eventually it will become natural. Good luck!