I weighed myself. Yesterday my parents scale was just too tempting. I told myself whatever it said would be okay and it is. I was prepared to see 10 lbs more (I was telling myself that if I saw that number it’d be okay and I wouldn’t change anything). When I weighed myself it was about 5pm and I already had about 3 meals. I decided to weigh myself in the morning thinking it might be a little less and it wasn’t. Exactly the same. Do I wish I never weighed myself? Yes. I have been obsessively thinking about how much weight I’ve gained (22 lbs since February when I last weighed myself) and then thinking of how much more since my lowest weight… I’ve been using mindfulness to notice when I’m doing that and bring myself back to the present.
Has knowing my weight changed my eating? Not at all. I eat what I’m hungry for and make sure I eat some starch. I would be satisfied to eliminate bread and starch but I know it’s important for me to keep eating them so I continue to get my period and get pregnant.
Knowing my weight isn’t going to stop me from putting on a bathing suit and going to the beach in a few minutes.
I’m tempted to weigh myself next week before I leave here to see if my weight has changed but I really hope I don’t. I don’t think it will do any good because I’d be hoping to see a lower number and seeing anything higher won’t do anything good. All in all not too much harm done by the scale but I wish I avoided it all together.