October 4, 2013 at 12:05 am #12983NYC1234Participant
(This post is in the dieting section because it is about the negative effects of going to extremes to stay skinny.)
I’ve lived in NYC nearly 6 years now and as a result I’ve seen women of all shapes and sizes.
I see young pretty women with incredibly skinny bodies walking all over the place in Manhattan. Although I find their faces attractive, when I look at their bodies I get totally turned off. Their legs are overly skinny, their arms look like someone who is starving, and they do have a nice flat stomach but I don’t think that a flat stomach is all that important for attracting me. Their faces are on the thin side but they are young so they still look pretty. It is obvious that many of these women go to extremes to stay skinny.
The major problem with these young women who stay skinny through dieting and overexercise is that they don’t age well. Their faces start looking older in their mid to late twenties compared with women who have a normal amount of flesh on their bodies. The skin on their arms, legs, and face loses its quality very fast. These women start looking haggardly in their 30s and by the time they are in their 40s they are totally done. No guys will look at them any longer. This is the price they pay for going to extreme measures to stay skinny.
I also see young women walking down the street with a normal amount of flesh on their bodies. They are not fat. But they have nice full legs, nice round ass, nicely shaped arms, a little bit of fat in the stomach area, and filled out faces. I’ve dated some of these women over the years and they generally think that they are fat. I tell them that they are not fat and their bodies are incredibly sexy (which is the absolute truth).
I have also observed that a woman with a normal amount of flesh on her body generally stays very attractive as she gets older. Sure, these woman get some extra weight in their mid section as they get older, they get some extra weight in their hips, but their faces remain attractive and I still find them to be very sexy. These woman can be very sexy yet they think they are fat and they envy the emaciated women who look haggardly.
From the perspective of a guy who loves women, please don’t diet. It is much better to have a few extra pounds on you then it is to be emaciated. If you avoid dieting and overexercising you will keep your looks much longer than if you destroy your body through dieting. I see the results of extreme dieting all the time all over Manhattan its just not pretty.October 4, 2013 at 10:05 am #12989The Real AmyModerator
Thank you, NYC1234. I live in NYC too, and see all the skinny people every day. As a woman, it is a huge amount of pressure. In fact, riding the subway can be a major ED trigger. I fall into the 2nd category now, although since I’m petite I’m still small. I look more like how women did in the 60s – thin but with definite flesh on the bone. Nice to hear from a guy that they like a bit of flesh, because there are so many women here who are emaciated and I often feel like that’s become the preferred look by men.October 16, 2013 at 11:04 pm #13178DavidModerator
I’m with you, NYC1234. Excess weight is an increasing problem for both men and women (at least outside NYC), but I strongly prefer women who aren’t too skinny. Women naturally have a higher body fat percentage than men, and they look better with this extra fat. Depending on body type, some women look awesome even if they are “overweight,” but few look their best when they are underweight. It’s not even about breast size–the fat adds an appealing roundness in the hips and shoulders, etc. Excessive leanness can make a woman look too angular and masculine, in my opinion.
Sometimes it seems like all women, even the most attractive, are always worried about their weight–including my wife–and I wonder if it’s more about competition with each other than male preferences. Most men like a woman with curves, and I think women must know this (at least deep down).
Men also seem to idealize bodies that women don’t prefer. It seems to me that most women are attracted to lean, strong men, but not huge bodybuilder types. Yet many men aspire to look like bodybuilders and feel inadequate if they can’t achieve that level of muscularity. Probably these men want to be BIG to impress other men, rather than women.October 16, 2013 at 11:05 pm #13179DavidModerator
By the way, Tom Wolfe calls these NYC women “social x-rays,” which I thought you might enjoy.December 1, 2013 at 6:42 am #13981Rosie123Participant
I’m glad to hear the male perspective on this! In my twenties I was a dancer in full orthorexia mode weighing around 100lbs (I’m 5’6). I was just running on stress hormones and caffeine LOL I would get home and crash in bed for 10+ hours until I needed to be at a class or rehearsal again.
I met my husband back then and he was the first person to tell me that my thinness was unhealthy and unattractive. He was like “I don’t date skinny girls, here have some cookies”
He spent our first months together giving me extra food at every opportunity and eventually weight stabilized at 130lbs, I felt and looked much better.
I did slip back into orthorexic habits for the next 10 years sadly, but if I start getting too thin, my husband starts the whole “here, have some cookies” thing again :DApril 14, 2014 at 9:02 pm #16178thefuckitdietParticipant
ohhhhhhhhh yes. As an actress who lives in NYC… this was the worst. And yes… it still is completely the culture but I decided… fuck it. Literally.
But then I realized I missed it so I got back into it under the condition that I would pave my own way, and live my new What the fuck this is who I am I do not fit into a box.
Easier said than done. but… Yea.
The Real Amy! You live in NYC!April 15, 2014 at 12:22 pm #16183ThomasSeayModerator
I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, not NYC, but that doesn’t matter in this case. Anyway I agree with what everyone here has said. Of course, I am going to add my own twist to the discussion….
Have you every tried making THE love with one of these really skinny women? I have. No fun. It’s like diving naked into a pile of rocks. Dry. Jagged. Ouch. I feel at those times like a Greek sailor who listens to the sirens’ song and rams his ship onto the shore.April 28, 2014 at 7:30 pm #16276yayhowfunParticipant
Try living in Vegas where bikini season is over half the year. :)
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