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Will I ever feel full again??
Here is my brief (or not so brief) history:
-I am a 22-year-old female
-I was always a skinny kid, had a fast metabolism and could eat whatever and however much I wanted. Since I graduated from high school, I was steadily 5ft8 and 120 pounds. People probably think this sounds really underweight, but that literally was what I was without restricting at all, and my parents are the same type of slim build, fine bones, etc.. I ate all you can eat sushi, popcorn and candy, lots of bagels and bread every day, lasagna, cake, ice cream, whatever and whenever. I ate more, or at least as much as, my friends who were bigger than me. At least 2500+ calories every day.
Summer 2011: I had been struggling with symptoms like acne, bloating, fungal toenail infection, fatigue, etc. so I did a cleanse and then went on an anti-candida diet + anti-microbials etc. Immediately dropped like 10 pounds and lost my period, obviously wasn’t eating enough.
Fall 2011: Increased back to probably around 2400 calories, still on an anti-candida diet so not having gluten or dairy or sugar but at least getting a somewhat adequate amount of calories. Gained back to 116-117, got my period back.
Spring 2012-Summer 2012: Since I was still experiencing bloating and other symptoms, I decided to get more restrictive and tried food combining and other stupid things that did nothing except make me lose weight I didn’t need to lose (back down to ~114) and make my period disappear again. Was probably eating between 1800-2200 calories. Unfortunately I stayed here for quite a while. I did add a protein shake and a few scoops of almond butter but not much more, so that I was eating probably between 2000-2200. And then, on this amount that I could barely maintain an adequate weight on, I started to gain weight!
-By the end of 2012 I was back to 120 pounds with my period back, but of course with some new symptoms like seriously thinning hair, etc., you know the drill.
-By Spring 2013, I was 125 pounds. By the end of Summer 2013, I was 130.
-In Summer 2013, I did try some things to help with metabolism and thyroid, like adding in more carbs like fruit and sweet potatoes, sea salt, coconut oil, etc., but at the same time was cutting out other things (like nut butters due to PUFAs) so I never really increased calories.
-At the end of the summer I was hit with this ravenous and insatiable hunger, so I was kind of forced into “Eating the food” so to speak, unless I wanted to sit through all my university lectures holding my stomach so it wouldn’t growl continuously. Added back in bread, ice cream, pie, sugar, fries, white rice, and other previously villainized things. By the end of the year, I was eating between 2500-2700 calories, insatiable hunger had died down a little but still sometimes have a dull hunger between meals.
-Now over the winter break and into this year, I’ve been really trying to respond to my hunger, but it seems like every time I increase calories, I feel satisfied for a few days, and then after that, that amount is not satisfying anymore. I’m up to between 3000-3500 calories now and today I feel nearly as ravenous as I did when I was first hit with an insatiable hunger. And if I eat even 100-200 calories less than other days, I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack and my body screams “eat eat eat!!!” So in other words, very sensitive to even slight unintentional calorie deficits.
So my question is, will I ever feel full again? I see people here talking about overfeeding and stuffing themselves, and I’m like my god, I’m eating 3500 calories and I didn’t even feel full, I feel like a bottomless pit. I get that I built up a calorie deficit, but I didn’t restrict to a crazy low amount like 1000 or something, I never exercised a bunch during that time (in fact I never exercised at all), I never did intermittent fasting or anything extreme like that… it’s just frustrating that everytime I increase I think I’ll finally feel full and satisfied but then it never lasts. I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance or something :) Wow this turned out really long, hope somebody reads it lol.
Yes you will feel full again. Perhaps you aren’t getting enough protein. Its usually why I get hungry between breakfast lunch or dinner.
Sounds like you have a roaring metabolism. Are you still gaining weight?
It’s pretty normal to have insatiable hunger after an easting disorder but you’re right you were never so low. If your body felt starved from the restrictive diet, though, that could be it, though. Just for comparison, I was recently sick for a few weeks with low appetite and ever since I have been starving! Even a few weeks later. You were deprived for longer than that.
Agree on the protein advice. If you’re not eating enough of any macronutrient, it can make you feel unsatisfied. Your body should tell you this through cravings, though.
Also, bear in mind it could always be a medical issue, so if it keeps happening, a doctor’s visit could be in order.
When I was in recovery from an eating disorder my appetite was insatiable! Basically we followed Matt’s guidelines (except they didn’t care about PUFA’s- chips, fried foods etc were daily eaten) I think I was at 3000+ calories a day, and 4-5 ensures, and NO exercise, and I was still hungry. It was scary, but eventually things all stabilized.
Thanks for your replies!
I’m not really sure if I’m still gaining weight. I haven’t weighed myself in a long time. Pants that I got 3 months ago still fit, although are much tighter. Seems like I think I stabilize, then there’s another jump in weight, then stabilize, etc.
It is likely that my body did feel starved from the restrictive diet. Even though 1800-2200 calories may not seem that low to the average person, I was coming from a place where I had a large appetite and a fast metabolism and ate tons just to maintain my slim build. 1800-2200 would’ve certainly been less than I was eating previously. And the fact that I lost my period, had hair falling out, etc. on that amount suggests it was not the right amount for me.
Also, there were definitely times when I was hungry but wouldn’t eat because not enough time had passed since my last meal, or because I was at a friend’s house and the food contained sugar or gluten or some other thing I was avoiding (whereas previously I would’ve chowed down on candy, chips, ice cream and whatever else was available). So I was definitely restrictive and did some things that probably messed up my hunger cues…
I hope this will stabilize as I continue to try to eat to hunger cues…
I’ll also take a look at my diet to see if I’m getting enough protein. I do feel that I have a fair amount though, I always have some kind of animal protein at lunch and dinner, I have lots of dairy in the form of ice cream and cheese, I have lots of almond butter, etc.
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