Tagged: humor, nutritionally correct
- This topic has 13 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by
Ironrod.
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July 21, 2013 at 9:22 pm #9724
Steven e
ParticipantNutritionally Correct News is live! featuring a quotation from a Matt remarkably like ours ;)
I googled Nutritionally Correct, and sadly the net is bespeckled with the term used in the most serious manner! NC chocolate cake, NC cookies, NC blog, and most of it anti fat. I’ll work on the site look later. I want it to look more serious or something. Any suggestions ideas, theme recommendations etc… welcomed.
July 22, 2013 at 12:16 am #9733SBC037
Participant:-) Sound of appreciative clapping and guffawing. Very nice work, Steven.
July 22, 2013 at 2:18 am #9735mighty m
ParticipantBrilliant! I giggled all the way to the end.
July 22, 2013 at 1:30 pm #9758Ironrod
ParticipantWell done, Steven!
I’m glad to see that you got it up.
Whoops! Wait, wait, wait. Allow me to rephrase that.
I’m glad to see that your healthy eating spoof blog is now on line.July 22, 2013 at 4:27 pm #9771j-lo
ParticipantI was chuckling throughout, but I laughed out loud when I read:
“Danny Roddy repeated what peat said.”
Ouch.July 22, 2013 at 6:25 pm #9775Steven e
Participantha ha, yeah, I thought that was pretty funny. Nothing against Danny, just true enough to make a stupid joke out of.
July 23, 2013 at 12:53 am #9802BradKW
ParticipantGracie Nitman, who runs the popular TraditionalNutritiousNourishingNourishment blog, doesn’t think the fruit is a good idea. I wouldn’t feed my kids GMO’s of any kind. It would have come in handy when we were on the GAPS diet, but we aren’t anymore. We aren’t eating fruit right now though, because my kids teeth are a little discolored and I think they might be getting cavities, so I want to maximize the nutrient density of their food. If they need a snack, I just give them a liver popsicle made with stevia, raw milk, liver, two grapes, high vitamin butter oil and fermented cod liver oil, blended together and frozen in non-toxic silicone popsicle moulds with organic fair trade bamboo popsicle sticks. They didn’t like them at first because they weren’t born into a culture that eats traditional foods, but I taught them to hold their noses while eating them and now they eat them, at least when they don’t drop them behind the couch or in the toilet or something.
Is this supposed to be a parody of Healthy Home Economist, or just traditional food zealots in general?
July 23, 2013 at 1:09 am #9805Steven e
ParticipantJust the generic nourishing mom blog phenomenon. There’s probably a little HHH in there though.
July 23, 2013 at 1:15 am #9808BradKW
ParticipantOh, ok. I still had a good laugh, though.
And maybe vomited in my mouth a little…
July 27, 2013 at 12:35 pm #10129Ironrod
ParticipantHey Steven- As I was driving last night, I had a couple of ideas for faux ads for your blog. Allow me to run them by you:
1. Everyone these days knows that Paleo eating is where it’s at. The mantra for today is What Would Oog Eat? (WWOE) But, despite the health advantages of the Paleo lifestyle, we still enjoy many of our modern foods and so seek ways to make them Paleo-friendly. A good example of this is soda. Everyone loves soda, but it’s certainly not something that Oog ever consumed. That’s why we at Bark’s are proud to announce the availability of our new Bark’s brand Root Beer. Made with real bark! And roots! The bark provides an abundant source of fiber that will scrub your digestive tract right out. Best of all, it’s still Paleo! After all, it is possible that Oog ate bark at least some of the time, particularly when game was scarce in the Winter. Bark’s Root Beer is made from quality, all-organic ingredients, too, so you know it’s good for you.
Take it from one of our satisfied customers, Ms. V.D. Hertz of Bedrock, NV:
“I introduced my family to the Paleo lifestyle a couple of years ago. We have all benefited greatly from this WOE, but one thing that my kids really missed was their soda. So I was SO happy when I discovered Bark’s Root Beer! At first, the kids weren’t too sure about it. I even caught little Nestor pouring his first bottle into the fish tank, but after I convinced them to give it a try, they loved it. Now they drink it all the time. Best of all, I know that it is healthy for them. Thanks Bark’s!”
No, V.D. Thank You.
Bark’s, sold at all fine health food stores. Get some today!2.The Paleo lifestyle has swept the nation. Countless people are reporting a host of health benefits, including better sleep and weight loss, after adopting the Cave-man diet. One criticism that has been leveled at the diet is that it is difficult to get all of our necessary vitamins and minerals on such a meat-heavy diet without supplementation. Many Paleo-philes retort that Ook never needed supplements because he got all of his vitamins and minerals by eating the entire carcass of his prey, including bone marrow and cartilage and other assorted parts.
But, in our modern fast paced world, many people find it difficult to find the time to fully prep an animal and harvest all the incidental parts necessary to get those important micro-nutrients.
Well, not to worry. We at John Deere have you covered. That’s right, John Deere, makers of top quality agricultural machinery, has expanded into the home cooking market. We are proud to announce the availability of the John Deere WC 1105 Wood Chipper/Food Processor!
With the John Deere WC 1105, you can get all the nutrition from your food in a fraction of the time. Simply throw the entire carcass into the WC 1105 and watch it do the work! Don’t forget to wear a helmet and safety glasses. (Sold separately.) The WC 1105 makes nutrient rich smoothies in a matter of minutes.
Best of all, after you finish pureeing Bessie, the WC 1105 cleans up quickly and easily with an ordinary garden hose. Then you can use it to chip wood. Talk about versatility! The John Deere WC 1105 Wood Chipper/ Food Processor, no Paleo-friendly kitchen should be without it!
And remember…Nothing runs like a Deere!So yeah, there you have it.
I hope that you like these ideas. But, if not, I understand. I freely admit that I have an off-the-wall sense of humor.July 28, 2013 at 6:40 pm #10275Steven e
ParticipantNice Ironrod. I love #2, totally hilarious. I toyed with the idea of a human composting service for a while and of course a chipper would be invaluable. Why burn those loved ones or bury them in a lead lined box when family members could have a bag of compost to sprinkle in the flower bed? Also, some potential for humor in the FACT that lots of tribal groups consumed the contents of the stomach and/or intestines of animals. Maybe I’ll use that somewhere, though I really should probably do something more constructive with my down time…
Hope you caught my latest post on coconut oil…July 28, 2013 at 9:07 pm #10305Ashley
ParticipantPure gold! Butter sprinkled with xylitol! Haha, at one time I would have done that… :( But then I got to where I couldn’t have xylitol. ;)
July 29, 2013 at 3:14 am #10353Franz
ParticipantHaha :D Genius!
July 29, 2013 at 12:42 pm #10382Ironrod
ParticipantHi Steven. I’m glad that you approve of my goofy ads.
I did read your article about the catalyst of world peace AKA coconut oil. That was quite hilarious!
Good parody has to have an element of truth, and that one was spot-on. (As anyone who follows healthy eating blogs knows.) -
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