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I’m having a really hard day today and I think bathing suit shopping did not help. I’ll be spending 2 weeks at the beach with my family & extended family (same beach I’ve gone to for my entire life) and I need to buy some new bathing suits because I no longer fit into my other ones. It was horrible and I can just cry thinking about it. I ended up just coming home and ordering some things online. Most days are hard but I feel okay because eating more has given me my period back,which no amount of sleep, black out blinds, meditation, massage, etc brought back. I want to have more babies but I also want to be thin. I miss my old body.
I feel confused and sad when I read people on here that are having a hard time and then stopping eating this way. My temperature is high (high 99s in the afternoon) and I’ve gotten my period back so I guess I should stop complaining. I guess the thing for me is that I’m totally happy eating big salads and fruit and a couple of eggs in the morning. The problem is that I know that won’t keep me fertile and I’ll probably loose my period. I also want to keep eating starch and salt and sugar because I see the difference it makes in my temperature and I’m hoping that a high temperature means that my metabolism is fast and that will be food for fertility and eventually weight loss. I think I should probably stop being on the forum so much even though I do love it and find support in it but I think it also makes me question how I’m eating. Ugh! Damn you bathing suits and clothes and mirrors for that matter! Please excuse the whining. Just a really hard day.
I’m feeling a bit better after reading a book with my daughter (which has a plump beautiful mom in it) and making tamale pie (my husband’s childhood favorite, which I’ve never made). Now I’m thinking I should delete the post but I think any comments will be useful because I’ll probably have some more really hard moments. Like when the bathing suits arrive in the mail!
Saisrice,
It sounds to me like you are conflicted about whether you want to be a mommy or a sex-goddess. The fact is you can be both! Maybe you should look at photos of Marilyn Monroe, and the Greek Goddesses who were not light weights? Being sexy and beautiful is in your head – not your body.If you’re making a commitment to having more babies, accept that this weight is what your body needs to create healthy children – It’s your choice. You can decide that looking good is more important. I’m serious. Figure out your priorities, and then accept them for now. You can always re-evaluate what is right in the future.
And I would also use EFT Tapping to release your fear of staying overweight. Because fear is stressful, and your body will react to the feeling of not being “safe”, and create the very thing you fear!
Thanks, Lianda. I really do want more children but more than that I want to be healthy and a good role model for my daughter. I want to be fully present in life and not let worries about my weight ruin my day. I know I can be sexy and a mother and not a stick figure. I think it’s a lack of muscle tone that’s really doing me in since I have taken a break from exercise in order to regain my period. I’m going slowly back into exercise since I really want to get 3 periods in a row and get pregnant. I actually use EFT with the children that I work with and think I should start doing it with myself! Do you have an adult EFT book that you recommend?
Saisrice, you are probably referring to me talking about stopping? I’m sorry about that! If I had been in your boat, having done strict paleo, losing periods, than I would have a reason to continue and I would stick with it. However, I never had any major issues, I was just attracted to the idea of being in some sort of perfect health. I didn’t have a real motivation like you. Please stick with it if it works for you! I’m sending you lost of encouragement!!
I think a big problem is that for most of us what we equate with “healthy” isn’t the same as our body’s interpretation, so I would say to go with your body. If your body is telling you it’s better off- by making you fertile again- then listen to it, everything else is just superficial.
easy to say, I know. I do sympathise with you, but we are all on a long process and it’s good that you’ve seen the improvement of getting your period back, so just stick with it and I bet you’ll see many more improvements which eventually will please you more than your old body and clothes.
I have just come round to this way of thinking, and have stashed away my previous clothes so if I need them one day they will be there, but for now there’s no distractions undermining my progress at the moment.
Good luck xx
PS it is well-known that shop mirrors can lie
http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/news-features/TMG3359211/Whose-mirror-is-the-fairest-of-them-all.html
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