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I’ve had a setback. Last week my back went out on me. It’s in my lower back and it is very hard to be comfortable in any position. I was up walking the stiffness out all night the 1st night. I haven’t slept well at all since it happened. Not that I sleep well anyway. I couldn’t even think about eating when I was in so much pain.
My back is better but not 100%. I just have been trying for so long to see improvement and nothing happens. This weekend we went to my father-in-law b-day party. I wanted to go and didn’t want to go. I feel so FAT and hate for people to see me now. So self conscious. I know I’m not supposed to be that way, but I just am. I guess some things will never change. I’m tired of feeling the same way everyday, tired and no energy. I am so stiff now. I want to be doing something, moving, stretching, yoga, something! Also, I want to drown myself in ice tea! I honestly feel like I am never going to get there. Thanks to anyone who read &/or responds to me. I am having my very own pity party.
Hi Linda,
This is my first post. I have come to the forums often to find some inspiration or even to relate to others who are experiencing the same thing.I started getting back pain when I sleep a couple of years ago. Some days are better than others. I also wake up often in the middle of the night. Good old adrenaline rush.
I was hoping to see improvement now that I am eating the food. It seems like a roller coaster. I have gained alot of weight as well…about 50 pounds. I’m heavier than when I started dieting in the first place. I am extremely frustrated. I often feel like you do about now wanting to go out in public. I know part of this journey is coming to accept ourselves at any weight.
One thing I do to help myself feel better is look up photos of gorgeous plus-size models. I also started watching this U.K. series called “How to Look Good Naked”. It is available to stream on Hulu Plus. I like that this fashion guru takes real women and helps them build confidence in themselves. It is definitely uplifting.
I think that you and I, and others like us will find a way to strengthen each other. I just wonder if the recovery takes a lot longer than we orignally thought it would.
Hey MissChris, good to hear from you. Yep, I gained about 40 lbs, also heavier now than I was before. I just feel that I am never going to get there. Every day is the same. Not everyone recovers at the same rate so I have to keep telling myself I will get there. Summer kind of messed me up so I hope when the weather cools down I can get back on track. Still, the regular wake ups at night aren’t doing me any good. I’m in a regular funk I hope I can shake myself out of.
Oh, I used to watch that show…..Gok rocks!
As for backpain&waking at nigth,this can be a sign of adrenal(&maybe thyroid?) Insufficiency…
Now i know the following suggestion will not be popular over here and dont take my word for it,but personally i feel that some of the persisting symptoms for that long are not part of metabolism completely healing.
As i dont encourage people to rule out foods,you migth want to experiment with some and see how you feel…..which is unfortunately a contradiction as youre easily prone to fall for another restrictive eating,but i do belief some people do physiologically better with certain foods than others.Linda,
Feeling bad about yourself is very stressful for your body. Your emotions, the words you use to describe yourself have an effect on your brain and body. The things you resist, persist! Stress changes your metabolism; it can make your body react like it’s under attack- and it IS under attack, by you!For many women I work with, it’s this body image problem that actually started them on the slippery slope to dieting, and regaining the weight (the body’s normal reaction to calorie restriction and over-exercise).
The pain you feel in your back has an emotional component to it- and probably something set it off. That’s the basic understanding of Mind/Body medicine. It’s all connected. EFT Tapping is a good to get yourself calm, it helps release pain, and can help you to develop self-acceptance.
With regard to being ashamed of your appearance: Who are the people you admire? Do you value them only valuable because of their appearance? If so, it’s time to find some new people to look up to! You are so much more than just your appearance.
Love yourself, find reasons to be grateful for your body… and DO yoga mindfully. Watch yourself getting stronger; and as your stress levels lower, you will find the tension in your back and pain improving. And it will help with stress, and self-acceptance. That at least gives your body the foundation so you can attain your “happy weight”.
Feel free to contact me if you want more help.
Hi Dutchie! You have definitely given some me some food for thought. I would love to find relief from my nightly back pain. Gok does rock!
Thank you for your post Lianda. I needed to hear that as well, so I can focus on giving myself a positive body image too! I will have to look into EFT Tapping.
Me too, Lianda. I have to find a way to feel more positive about myself. I will look into EFT as you are not the only one who has mentioned it. I am curious about that program you mentioned, misschris. I’ll see if I can find it.
Feel free to contact me (http://www.makeitsomindset.com/180-degree-strategy-session/) and I’ll send you more information about EFT as well.
Now go and smile at yourself in the mirror!
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