What's worked for me

I haven’t been on the site for awhile, but I wanted to stop back and share what has worked for me. Quick history- I was always thin, developed bulimia at age 22, dealt with that for 2.5 years and slowly gained weight during the ED then gained a bunch more during recovery thanks to Youreatopia (I was never underweight).

In March 2013 I hit my highest weight ever. I never weighed myself, but I’m guessing I was at least 170 lbs at 5’7. I was depressed, felt horrible, and pretty much hated myself. I got pregnant that month, ate a bunch during my pregnancy, and hit 190 lbs right before I delivered my son in October (I had lost a lot of weight during my first trimester thanks to morning sickness and was down to 157 at my first prenatal checkup).

I saw the pregnancy as a chance to kind of start over. I am 25 and did not want to be overweight for any more of my 20s. I also knew I had to be very careful to not fall back into my ED habits. I knew that stuffing myself YE style was not going to lead to weight loss. I calculated my TDEE and started roughly counting calories. I also started walking with my son. It was hard at first since I had been extremely sedentary during my pregnancy, but now we walk about 3 miles every day and it’s easy. I’ve never liked formal exercise, so I’m a big believer in NEAT. I stay active all day playing with my son, cooking, cleaning, and working as a nurse two days a week. I make sure that I do not spend the majority of my day sitting. I think staying busy all day is much more effective than doing a 45 minute workout but spending the rest of the day on the couch. What I’ve outlined above has worked amazingly. I weighed in at 136 pounds at a doctor’s appointment a couple of weeks ago. I’m thinner now than I was before I developed the ED! I cook most of our food, and I do not limit anything. I haven’t felt deprived at all.

Bottom line- calories do matter. After this 3+ year journey, I would not recommend refeeding or YE style recovery to anyone who is not severely underweight. Yes, diets suck, especially fad ones, but eating what you like with some portion control and activity is definitely doable. I’m infinitely happier than I was a year and a half ago. I actually enjoy shopping instead of crying in the dressing room, and I don’t turn down social invitations because I’m so depressed about my body. Most importantly, now that I am at a size I feel good at I’m not as obsessive. I don’t ‘body check’ in the mirror anymore and I just feel generally good about myself. I hope this helps someone.