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I am really stuck in this weird mentality that eating ‘treats’ is ruining all of my hard work with exercise. I still have the treats but every time I am like man… that workout was wasted! I just had a full-on self-argument with having three mini candies at work because I had such a good workout this morning. This is ridiculous, and I get that the diet world would agree with me, but how can I make this crazy food voice turn off?
Hi BauerPower, I think it may be in your idea of “treats”. Food is just food and nothing needs to be thought of as “treats” or “good” or “bad”. Also, what is the story your telling yourself about a “good workout”? Is it too loose weight? Too burn off calories? It seems like it might be since the eating of candies seems to ruin the workout. It may be good to treat working out as something fun that you love to do and that you do because you want to and because it makes your body feel good. Not because you ate too much or want to loose weight. If possible, food and exercise should not be connected besides wanting to make sure you get enough food after working out.
For me, I know that certain exercise can be triggering and can get me into that mindset of “healthy” eating and beating myself up if I eat things I previously would have thought of as treats. That’s why I took the rest part so seriously and am still resting for the most part. It helps keeps me calm (although I previously would have said that exercise keeps me calm) and connected to my hunger and not obsessing about my body and what i eat.
@BauerPower – I had a HUGE obsessive tendency, and nothing I did (and I did a lot) could make the obsessive thinking stop as long as I tried to make it stop. What finally works for me is to a) make everything alright and acceptable – including candies, being “lazy”, gaining weight, and even obsessing! and b) focusing on relaxing my body instead of trying to stop thoughts. I noticed that the more I tried to make the “crazy food voice” turn off, the longer it persisted. It was only when I finally just stopped trying to make it stop that I stopped having a problem with it. Focusing on relaxing my body instead has worked miracles. And by making everything acceptable there’s less for the “crazy food voice” to obsess over. (This takes time and can be a process, so there can be ups and downs.) Really, by giving permission and taking advantage of that permission (i.e. eating three candies at various times throughout the day, not just as a treat or reward in order to remove the weird little patterns of thought surrounding food) I notice that my thinking is way less obsessive. I remove all restrictions and rules, and then there’s nothing special about candy or anything else. So I can eat it whenever I actually want (and not when I don’t want to.) I really hear you and feel for you because I know how horrific it can be to have that voice that berates for hours or days over really insignificant things. I just finally decided that I logically knew that the voice wasn’t productive and was actually just part of a stress loop. So I made a decision to stop listening. It took commitment because the stress pattern was strongly reinforced. But it worked. It really, really worked. It was the only thing that ever worked and continues to work. I give permission for everything and turn away from obsessive thinking and focus on physical relaxation when necessary, and my life has totally transformed.
Saisrice, I definitely agree with you on so many points. My view of exercise isn’t so much burning calories anymore. It is more about maintain muscle tone and ability. Still, it is body obsessed!
J-lo I loved this….What finally works for me is to a) make everything alright and acceptable ? including candies, being ?lazy?, gaining weight, and even obsessing! and b) focusing on relaxing my body instead of trying to stop thoughts. I have done this with other eating issues recently and it has really worked. Labeling something as good, bad, scary, etc. really reinforces the crazy thinking with me.
I wish I could carry both of you around in my pocket to keep me in check. Thanks again for your support
I used to be the same way. Patting my back for being so disciplined when resisting a treat. Something in the past several months changed in my mind- I’m pretty sure it’s from reading this site. We’re humans and we’re not wired to be disciplined in that manner, so don’t shame yourself for being human. You’re also assuming the treat you ate isn’t “healthy” for you. I don’t know your exact physical state of health, so I don’t know if this is true for you or not, but perhaps be open to the idea that the treat is fueling your body and mind.
I have a friend who comments on pretty much every meal as to whether it is “virtuous” (aka- nearly vegetarian) or not. Drives me nuts, especially because she has no idea what she is talking about when it comes to healthy food. She also constantly talks about how bad it is that her kids eat so much sugar at grandma’s house and that they’re going to be fat. She acts like she’s “cool” about it when she eats something non-virtuous (meat, etc), but clearly she has issues because she constantly talks about it. I guess I don’t worry about eating something non-virtuous because I really don’t want to be her again.
I have a relative who once told me that she likes when she refuses treats or large portions in front of others because it shows how disciplined and in control she is, and others will be envious of her. I used to enjoy when I was similarly disciplined- hoping others would envy me or think I was so in control. Now when I see her do it I just shake my head— she’s starving herself and trying to deny the human cravings that are a natural part of her. And she’s not any healthier for it (cold hands and feet, pees all the time).
I guess being super disciplined and denying myself treats and thinking I was so virtuous never made me feel healthy and certainly never made me happy. Does the treat make you happy?
Eh, I think people are much more envious of you when you can enjoy a bowl of ice cream, not give a crap, and look awesome doing it. Control is not that sexy.
I agree, I don’t think control is sexy. But when I was younger I used to respect people who were disciplined and assumed they were in control of their body/health/work, etc. Now I can appreciate someone going to town on a bowl of ice cream, but I used to think the person was asking for trouble. Perhaps others were never envious of my discipline, but I wanted them to be– maybe because I just wanted to be in control of my own body and health. I think attempting to have control over your body/health is a big issue for people with EDs.
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