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I love the newsletter Matt!
I especially love what Karen said!
I just turned 50 and my Ed started in my teens and took off at 23 with a hospital stay.
All I can say is you are right to want to be free from the insane and deadly cultural obsession with thinness.
Did you know more die from anorexia than being obese? Yes, it is true.
Anyway, I hope you have support to help you. I recovered in my twenties but relapsed at 40 because it was then when they started harping on ” belly fat”. I fell for the bait and became obsessed and sick again. Now in recovery a second time, older and wiser, I will never fall for the bs that industries sell us about our bodies.
I have my belly back and I am eating to satisfaction again. I have begun to get a life back. My body may not be model thin anymore but my feelings, my interests and my relationships are becoming the focus again. My body is a precious gift that let’s me live to create a life for myself that I can feel and experience. Yes, it can be painful. Being numbed out on an eating disorder is seductive.
I could not have recovered without professional help, but that was my way. Anyway, it sounds like you are eating again. What a great step to health and wellness for you!
It sounds like you are doing great. Recovery is hard work sometimes. Not letting the ” omg,I am so fat I must restrict/diet ” voice run us is challenging to say the least.
Sometimes it helps me to get in touch with why I am obsessing on my weight. Usually, I am feeling upset about something else and I blame my body and think that a diet or weight loss will make me ok. But sometimes I just need to feel what I am feeling and make room for that without self medicating with obsession on weight loss.
Oh yes, school, work and boredom, I know those well!
So if anyone is interested, a great book that helps one get to the bottom of their Ed is called It’s Not About Food by Laurelee Roark and Carol Emery-Normandi.
That said, I cannot imagine doing this recovery without my therapy groups. My Ed/obsession with fitness/health is as strong as the media and diet/health industry intended it to be.
Another amazing book is Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon Phd.
That one had me fuming with anger. We have been duped and our recourse/revenge is to love our bodies EXACTLY as they are. Even if we are fat when all is said and done. Fat and healthy is better than thin and sick. That’s my take anyway.: )
You are so welcome.Thank you for your response to my post.
I wish you all the support you need to heal.