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MilaMonster

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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  • in reply to: Screwed by HCG? #9061
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    DON’T. DO. IT.

    There. Professional opinion. (I’m not professional of any sort, but maybe telling you that will trick you into NOT DOING IT).

    Just the fact that you struggle with body image I think is a sign you are not fully recovered. The farther I get into my own recovery, the less fucks I give about the weight that won’t come off or what others will think of my appearance because I’m actually busy focused on life and living and be alive and shit. It’s total fun and total freedom. You deserve a happy life free of those terrible thoughts.
    This is unsolicited and probably unkind advice but: Unfortunately it sounds like your husband has HCG brain. His little synapses are probably all crusty in there. It’s one thing for him to think you’re fat. By definition it might be true (and he shouldn’t love you any less for it). However for him to think you’re crazy is uncalled for, unsupportive, and cruel. I hope you’re over exaggerating or maybe projecting (out of frustration or low self esteem or something). I can’t know who’s really thinking what here, so I’m not getting up on his grill just yet. But whatever you do, please get support because not only do you deserve it, you need it right now.
    Best. xoxo

    MilaMonster
    Participant

    Basically, you’re going to gain weight no matter what. If you’re dieting, your metabolism will slow = weight gain. Or you can gain weight eating whatever the hell you want. I’d go with the 2nd idea, because at least your health will improve.

    Sorry to sound so blunt; it is not out of being unsupportive. Diet/ED recovery SUCKS. But also, once you’re recovered you won’t have the fears you have anymore. I gained 60 lbs. So f*ing what. I’m fun as shit to be around, I’m putting this brain of mine to good use these days (the things you learn you can do when you’re not starving! Piano! Spanish! Grad School!) Plus chocolate for breakfast is just beautiful.

    There’s way more to life than weight. But unfortunately you can only see that when you’re healed. The Catch-22 is a doozy but…just take the red pill. You’ll be glad you did.

    in reply to: What do y'all think of this guy's method? #9050
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    Well…I think I watched the video a long time ago, and don’t have the patience to go through the length all over again.
    Correct me if I’m wrong, but he says to increase calories (or was it carbs?) very very slowly (something like 50-100 a week or I forget)…the gist of it is to go very slowly and work up to a high amount and the body will adjust without the rebound/overshoot of weight gain.
    I guess if you’re not terribly metabolically damaged it might work…
    but for someone such as myself with a very long past of dieting/ed/metabolic damage this did not and will not work, mentally and physically. My body kept gaining weight on small amounts with no sign of recovery until I just gave in completely. Basically I was hardly doing any exercise and increased to 2500/day (for EIGHT months) but I was still fatigued, orange palms, cold, dry skin, AND had put on about 30 lbs. I couldn’t do it anymore; I had to give in to the gnawing hunger I continued to have because I still felt trapped. As soon as I ate all I needed I puffed up 30 more lbs in just a couple of weeks and I’ve stayed there ever since, but all my bloodwork is now normal and I am not fatigued anymore. Edema dissipated after 4 more months (15 months in to recovery). After ‘just eating everything’ I also got my period back two weeks later. I don’t really believe significant repairs can be made on such incremental amounts; instead I think the body just hoards whatever it can to fat because it will still think it is starving.
    Personally, plunging in head-first caused the most pain, but it also ‘got it over with’. I wish I had never spent those 8 months in limbo. I wish I had just eaten the damn food. I’d be a lot further along to perhaps getting back to my set point.

    in reply to: Gluten anyone? #8826
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    I’ve noticed that when I eat gluten I wake up the next morning with a sore (dry) throat (goes away after breakfast). I’ve tested this on three separate occasions, going gf for about two weeks and then reintroducing it and BAM sore throat.
    Also, my skin breaks out more when I eat a lot of it, it seems. Haven’t tested this one for sure though. I just went through a phase last week where I reintroduced it and ate basically sandwiches for every meal because that’s what I felt like and I broke out a LOT on my chest/chin (which has never happened before)…I’ll have to try that again though, if I muster up the courage. Currently gf again and no more breakouts.

    in reply to: Body Image and Self Esteem #8825
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    For me, I’m frustrated because I’m attracted to somewhat lanky guys who weigh less than I do. I certainly wouldn’t want one of those action figures, but I also feel weird about outweighing a guy I like about 30 lbs…no confidence that he would like me back. It feels weird to think that I probably couldn’t fit into their t-shirts that well…I mean isn’t that the whole point of the ‘boyfriend’ t-shirt? It’s supposed to cover my ass as I do the walk of shame…

    in reply to: Spontaneous weight loss? #8823
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    It depends, are you coming from ED or some sort of accidental restrictive eating? Even the mono could have set it off, but if that’s the case…it takes awhile. I am 15 months into ED recovery and am not sure I am even weight stable yet. The gain has reached a crawl, but I do not know if it has stopped (60 lbs last I checked). Depending on how long you were in a restrictive phase, it could take awhile. I view it like this: the body regenerates itself pretty well in 4-7 years. It could take that long, perhaps less. The men from the minnesota starvation experiment only underate for something like 4-6 months, and one man reported 3 years to get back to set point (though the average was 18 months). Lungs regenerate themselves every 10-15 years…so just imagine (if you restricted) that you are like a smoker….gotta rebuild that health to get your metabolism and the rest of your body back to normal. I like what Rob said: when you feel like moving more, do it! Have patience, and best wishes

    in reply to: Carrageenan, Gums, Thickeners etc #8670
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    eat it whatever…but I do think it makes my poop a bit weird. I suppose if you are having bouts of the runs it might be helpful to bind things up, considering they use the ingredients in those gums as material for diapers to absorb fluids…but who knows.
    I do wonder the same thing though…wondering what it’s doing to all my little good bacteria in my digestive system.

    in reply to: Recovering Adrenaline Junkie #8669
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    It’s been almost a year for me, but I’ve been 15 months into ED recovery. I have to walk 3 miles per day, one downhill, one flat, one uphill and it exhausts me. This coming from someone who could easily run intervals for 5 miles and then follow up with kettle bells and bodyweight HIIT session. ugh. i was running off adrenaline too.
    When I’ve done too much in a day (sometimes just the walk downhill is enough to do it to me) I feel spacey, foggy, used to get very dizzy, and insatiable. When I am well rested I think less about food and my focus is razor sharp. But it does stink that just the littlest bout of exercise without enough food in me can put me off for the rest of the day. I MUST eat before I do anything (even shower or do homework in the morning) and that tends to set me up for success, but I have to make sure I never go too hungry, or my adrenaline rises again and then I crash HARD when I eat.

    in reply to: Headaches #8668
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    Yup, Matt’s spot on. Salt! and less fluid. My mom always told me it was dehydration, it would get worse, I’d barf, and feel way better.

    in reply to: Vegemite, Marmite, Promite.. Salty Spreads #8483
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    uuuughhhhhhh…never developed a taste for that stuff. But in paleo days I somehow I convinced myself that cauliflower rice with liquid aminos = Delicious! (barf!!!)

    in reply to: Losing apetite? #8482
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    I go through ups and downs too, still, 15 months into eating restorative amounts…my appetite began around 2000 cals, and has fluctuated anywhere from 2300-4500 daily. Usually there are weeks I eat more and weeks I eat less. Right now I’m around 2800/day. Often I find I am more fatigued when I eat more, simply because I still have huge adrenaline shifts which send me into wired mode and crash after I replenish my stores.
    Usually when I’m nauseated I eat pretzels. The salt and simple carbs open up my appetite and give me good energy! Salt is very helpful for my nausea.

    in reply to: Exercise still hard? #8267
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    It takes. T. I. M. E.

    For sure.

    I overdid the exercise for years. After resting for a good year (on month 15) it is still hard for me to hike 1 mile up a hill home (hilly city)… I only average about 2 miles a day walking but I get quite fatigued. Your body will be ready when…well, it’s ready. Appreciate what you do have; I’m thankful everyday that I can stand and at least walk a little.

    in reply to: Let's Talk Shit About Ray Peat #8175
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    @ OldMate & cookin, the raw carrot makes me famished the same way fruit does. Weird. Plus coconut oil makes me nauseated (it didn’t used to)… @ thomas, thanks for the link, I’ll look at it

    in reply to: Exercise feels different now… #8084
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    It’s been 15 months of rest for me and still no desire to exercise. I have to walk to get around town, but any more than that and I am put out for naps. This will be a long road.

    in reply to: Edurance excercise – can't get away from it #8083
    MilaMonster
    Participant

    endurance exercise totally kills my temps to 96 about 20 minutes after. And this comes from even 15 minute jogs. definitely no more in my near future.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)