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I mean, they serve this devitalized, sugar-laden, grain-based garbage to kids… why I oughtta!!! Some kids cereals have over 30% of their calories coming from sugar! White, crappy sugar! And grains?? Obviously grains are responsible for the obesity epidemic. As Dr. Mercola has been talking about for years, (and you know he’s a renegade insider that really knows what’s going on), grains spike insulin. I mean, INSULIN!!! Jesus tapdancin’ Christ!!! We know that insulin is the fat storage hormone, and the more carbs you eat, grains and sugar especially… well, Adios kids. R.I.P. Sorry we’ve been making you all obese and diabetic with these damn breakfast cereals. And to think, marketing to young children with prizes and toys and cartoon tigers and toucans and stuff?? Despicable!!!

In a rumored rat study, those that ate the box lived longer than those that ate the cereal! That just says it all right there!

One of the big objectives at this site is to help health fanatics who have found me in the’sauerkraut-scented bowels of the alternative internet health scene to?overcome their irrational?food fears and phobias. And to?help people stop embarrassing themselves in front of?friends and family?with’their psychotic health crusade du jour.

A couple of weeks ago, long-time 180 peep Collden, mentioned something about breakfast cereal?protecting against obesity and diabetes in both kids and adults?- at least in clinical study.?And not all these studies were funded by General Mills?or?were even American-sponsored. While’studies are just studies, each one in isolation being about as important to me as, in the words of R.J. Fletcher, a “festering bowl of dog snot,” there are an awful lot of them. And they all seem to show pretty much the same thing…

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16339127

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18198313

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14647087

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12897044

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16129079

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21868140

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19699835

This one is good from a Paleo standpoint, as fruits and vegetables lost to breakfast cereal and cereal bars in a head-to-head body composition and diet adherence/satisfaction comparison…

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18325135

My favorite is the one that showed that the more sugary and refined’the cereal, the leaner the kids…

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18093352

That’s particularly ironic, as when I googled “breakfast cereal and obesity” I ran into literally hundreds of scathing articles about how horrible and tragic and sinister these breakfast cereals are – and how they are causing obesity like it’s nobody’s business. The ones about sugar in particular were quite venomous. What’s interesting, is that most studies that isolate the effect of sugar, or grains, seem to find the same theme repeated again and again. The more you eat, the leaner you are. It reminds?me of the story Chris Masterjohn told us at dinner after the WAPF conference about how he kept running?into a problem when feeding his experimental rodents buttloads of fructose. They were just too damn lean! The more fructose he gave them the less body fat, visceral fat specifically, that these rat bastards had.

I also posed a question about breakfast cereal and obesity the other day on Facebook, to see what kind of response I got. And the response was big. Most people think breakfast cereal is like el diablo in a box. And while I once claimed that Tony the Tiger ate my appendix, I can no longer say that Tony was fully?responsible. I didn’t eat Frosted Flakes anyway, but “health food cereals.”? If I had been eating Frosted Flakes instead of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran, Total, and Cracklin’ Oat Bran who knows?? Maybe I would still be toting around that little slimy sucker in my lower right abdomen.

What was interesting is how many people that were super lean as kids stepped up to share their cereal experiences. While they, and I too would agree that breakfast cereal probably isn’t the best overall food from a nutrition and health standpoint (that’s not the argument I’m making here), there was certainly some defensive responses to the assertion that eating breakfast cereal would be inherently fattening. The infamous Chuck Johnson even shared a photo of himself at 6’0″, 121 pounds’tearing into?a fresh?box of Cocoa Puffs – a breakfast cereal-based diet was actually something Cocoa Chuck used to get lean when needed?(a box a day will make the obesity go away!).

Anyway, I’ve been eating breakfast cereal again regularly for about 6 months now – and none of that indigestible bran-laden crap either. The simple corn, oat, and rice-based cereals are where it’s at. I find it incredibly convenient in today’s modern world. This is even more important to me now asI sacrificed the niceness of my kitchen in order to afford living 200 feet from what is considered the best beach in the United States. I assure you my health will not suffer from making this choice! I also think there may be something inherently beneficial about eating rapidly-absorbed carbohydrates to break a fast, and doing so in the morning hours when sugar is so hard to hold onto (skipping breakfast always makes my feet colder and and refractometer reading much?lower than skipping?dinner, and many others report the same – although this is by no means universal).

We know there is a huge advantage to eating high-glycemic carbs in a glycogen-depleted?postworkout state. Nothing shuts down the fattening and muscle-wasting stress hormones faster. Even Loren Cordain recognizes the superiority of rapid-release postworkout?carbs. After a long?overnight fast the body is in a similar state, which is probably why eating breakfast has a negative association with obesity -?breakfast cereal in particular amongst?breakfast choices. I certainly have had improvements from eating a sugar and starch-heavy breakfast over the past 6 months. And, perhaps even more importantly, I like it. I grew?up in the cereal generation. It’s a nice thing to wake up to?from time to time. And dude, sometimes the prizes are like totally sick! Some even glow in the frickin’ dark! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

So yeah, maybe you can relax and have a little breakfast cereal if that’s what you want. And maybe your kids will not suffer from instant death upon Cheerio impact if it makes your life a little less stressful to throw down a box and a carton on a day when you aren’t up for making something that is grassfed, raw, sprouted, fermented, and fried in ghee from Goji-fed Himalayan Yaks. It, at the very least, doesn’t seem to be something to feario.

Well, unless you don’t let it get a little soggy before eating. Then you might get some serious cereal lacerations on the roof of your mouth. Damn Kix. Gets me every time!