By Julia Gumm
This one goes out to all my fellow ?hypochondriacs. You know who you are. In fact, you probably stumbled upon this page because you thought that maybe as a health website, we could assist in diagnosing the buzzing in your ear and the dang sore throat you can’t shake. Maybe this is just a pit stop on your way over to WebMd, where you’ll learn that the ache in your thigh is undoubtedly a blood clot and you have mere minutes left to live. If so, I’m honored to have been part of your last moments on Earth. Ciao.
Seriously though, have you ever been told you’re a hypochondriac? I sure have. For a long time I bought it, and maybe I was. Let’s face facts, I fit the profile of a neurotic headcase. I’ve had a close family member or two keel over dead with no warning (one right in front of my eyes), I’m kind of nutty (or as my sister calls me, a ‘spazz?) and I don’t happen to believe that the ?professionals? know everything. So if I feel like crap and a doctor tells me it’s ?nothing? and I don’t believe him, well that must be my hypochondria. Luckily, since hypochondriasis is considered to be an actual disorder (or at least falling under the umbrella of ?complex somatic symptom disorder?), there’s hope. Yes, SSRI’s (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), i.e antidepressants, are being prescribed to the silly worrywarts of the world with great success. Imagine that.
To truly be considered a hypochondriac, there is a criteria one has to meet. According to the DSM-IV, the first piece is a ?preoccupation with fears of having, or the idea that one has, a serious disease based on the person’s misinterpretation of bodily symptoms. Ok. Now, why would a person misinterpret their bodily symptoms? For fun? Or perhaps it’s from a lack of information…I’ll give you an example.
Many years ago, I used to freak out over swelling in my armpits that seemed to strike at random. Sometimes it was only in the armpits, other times the swelling spread over to my boobies as well, creating a painful lumpiness throughout- and I wasn’t PMSing. So I’d work myself into a froth trying to figure out what it could possibly be. I, at the time, was not aware of the many changes a gal goes through over the course of the month. Like so many of us, I had the idea that the systems function without incident for three weeks, and for the fourth, it all goes to hell and we get our periods, end of story. Is it any wonder that I then began to fear breast cancer? Lumpy titties nowhere near my period? I had no reason to believe it was normal.
Imagine my relief when I discovered that during ovulation, many women experience classic PMS symptoms, such as swollen breasts. Double relief when I learned that the armpit glands are in cahoots with the bosoms, and swelling in them could be directly attributed to hormonal fluctuations. It’s a good thing I learned about ovulation symptoms when I did, otherwise the recent onset of mittelschmerz (mid-cycle cramping) would have left me in cold sweats, imagining my appendix rupturing or my ovaries filling with tumors. Now that I have a solid understanding of what goes on in my lady parts throughout the month, I’m so much more relaxed. Having an awareness of the hormonal ups and downs that occur throughout the entirety of the month, not just that one maligned week, has granted me the peace of knowing that funky things are happening inside our bodies all the time. Not bad things, necessarily. Normal things. Natural things. Normal doesn’t mean uneventful. And let me tell you what, it sure wasn’t my doctor who explained that to me. His only suggestion was that I go on birth control to see how many of my ‘symptoms? we could erase. (I politely declined.)
Or there was the time I had a laundry list of scary symptoms that seemed to evade explanation. Weight loss, rashes, fatigue, muscle pain, nerve pain, you name it. Doctor after doctor told me that since they didn’t know what was wrong, therefore, there was nothing wrong. Here, have some Valium, ya nut. When I’d protest, one suggested it was stress. I was willing to buy that, but when I asked how it is that stress can do all that to a body, he just shrugged. No explanation whatsoever. Don’t forget to pay the receptionist on your way out. Call back if something really goes wrong with you. That kind of crap.
All that medical training and no one could take the time to explain to an inquisitive patient that when the body is stressed out, it pulls blood away from the limbs and into the core as a means to protect vital organs, leading to numbness and tension in the extremities? Couldn’t they spend a few minutes on telling me that extreme stress can make the immune system go wild, releasing histamine and causing rashes for no good reason? I guess not. So after paying $145 for an appointment that ended with a prescription to ‘take a vacation,? I still had no solid answers. People would say to me ?but the doctor says you’re fine, so you must be! Except I knew that I wasn’t.
Lucky for me, I eventually found a doctor who believed me when I said I felt like shit. ?You even look like shit? he told me. Boy, that was music to my ears. So he ran a bunch of tests that the other white coats failed to do and guess what. It kinda sorta was stress that was making me sick. I was so stressed out that I exhausted my poor wittle adrenal glands. In retaliation, they went on strike and I was muddling through life without their help, which can lead to all sorts of rotten feelings. Once I knew what the issue was, I was able to tailor a healing protocol that made sense. After a year of barely being able to get out of bed, I was swimming in the ocean and playing on the beach after just three weeks of targeted treatment And it was all because of my danged persistent ?hypochondria. Yes, my belief that there was something wrong with me even though something like fifteen doctors told me there wasn’t is part of hypochondriac criteria??The preoccupation persists despite appropriate medical evaluation and reassurance. I guess it all depends on what one considers ?appropriate.
Let me be clear. I’m not suggesting that those folks who wake up every day imagining they have cancer and tuberculosis and elephantiasis, just ?cuz, can be cured by information. Those folks probably need professional help. And their access to WebMD forever blocked.
But I have a belief that most of us who consider outrageous possibilities when confronted with a change in how we feel do so because we lack information. Everything happening to us then falls into the category of ‘the unknown. And as a fragile being encased in nothin? but skin broken out in hives, ‘the unknown? is a disconcerting place to be. Worst-case scenarios play out through our heads like movie reels, and you know what, that’s not crazy. Because the fact is, bad things do happen. People do keel over dead for no apparent reason. Cancer does grow in human bodies. Even elephantiasis can happen. Probably not in a developed nation, but whatever. It exists. Telling yourself that these things can’t happen to you is foolish and if you’re a critical thinker, you’re not gonna buy it anyway. So instead of trying to think ?positively,? think realistically. And part of being realistic is getting a clear idea of what your reality really is. For reals.
Now this is important, listen up. The cure for your garden variety ?hypochondria? is information. Lots of it. Not the kind you get from Googling ?elephantiasis symptoms? and matching them to your own? (my God, my testicles ARE huge! Save me Jeebus!) I’m talking about a thorough understanding of what each of your organs do, how they do it and what kinds of foods or activities might get them upset (like greasy foods and the gallbladder or too much sex and the urethra). I’m talking about learning just what a rash is, why the immune system does it and what you’re doing that could bring it on. I mean understanding that having beets and cherry juice at dinner can make your poop dark red, so you’ll want to keep that in mind before you decide you’re hauling around a bloody tumor in your colon. Boy, have I been there. Wow. What a night.
And then there are your personal patterns. When I’m dehydrated, my fingertips prune up. This happens pretty easily if I don’t get enough salt, probably in light of my adrenal crisis the other year. One day, I got a potassium-packed fresh juice at the health food store, drank it with a bottle of water and by the time I got home I looked like I had been in the tub for two hours. I put some salt under my tongue, bada-bing-bada-boom. Problem solved. I now know that keeping my electrolytes in balance is key for me. I get the pruned fingertips whenever I decide that tea and fruit is the best way to start my day. Bullshit. I need salted butter and Gatorade. But had I Googled it, I’d be fretting over Lyme disease and Hypothyroidism. Nope. Pass the salt.
When you really get on a roll with understanding how your body works, you’ll begin to see the ridiculousness of the ?Google my symptoms and freak out? approach. Like with the wrinkled fingertips, you’re gonna get that whenever your electrolytes are out of whack because it’ll dehydrate you. Now, there are a lot of reasons your electrolytes can go all screwy. A long illness like Lyme can do it, I’m sure, as it’s a big tax on your adrenal glands. Your adrenal glands, along with the kidneys (who the adrenals sit on top of) govern the concentration of electrolytes in the body. Mess with the adrenals, mess with your electrolyte levels. And a lot of stuff can mess with your adrenals. Addison’s disease, thyroid imbalance, pituitary disorder, just plain stress. Now to me, that’s reassuring. I know to some of you noobs, that probably sounds anything but. ?Great,? you’re saying. She’s telling me that my symptoms could be caused by anything, even a fatal condition. Perfect.
No no no. What I’m saying is this: ?Weird symptoms are not solely the territory of freaky diseases. Strange happenings are the body’s business. It’s how it seeks 
equilibrium. It’s what it needs to do to process all the garbage you put it through and to tell you it needs some TLC. A fever, while it could mean you have a monstrous parasitic infection could just as well be telling of a measly virus or bit of inflammation that the body is dealing with, thank you very much. Constipation can come on from hormonal fluctuations, depression can come from your life sucking and tummy aches can come from nervousness. And there are good, solid, understandable reasons for all of it, good reasons you can seek and find.
But if you treat yourself for the innocuous causes of your symptoms and they still persist, go ahead and see your doctor. And when they roll their eyes, tell you you’re ?fine? and start pushing the Prozac, you go ahead and give them your iciest glare. Say ?Listen pal. I know what fine feels like, and this ain’t it. I realize I could be seeing spots because I’m tired and my testicles could be this huge because I’m a fine specimen of manhood, but I checked into all those avenues. No dice. I want some thorough tests, please and thank you.
And stay off of WebMd. That’s an order. Sheesh.
Julia I love your posts…always entertaining and informative!
“I know what fine feels like, and this ain’t it.” I’m totally there…adrenal issues as well due to severe stress. Julia, I’m wondering if you’d share your healing protocol, or where you found answers. A year and a half after I finally figured out what was going on with me, I’m still struggling. I know I CAN feel better, I just don’t exactly know how. And that is sooooooo frustrating. Thank you for sharing your story :)
Hey Shannon. I cobbled together my own plan from a number of resources. I reintroduced sugar into my diet ( I had gone Paleo-ish in hopes of healing whatever it was that was wrong with me, it only exacerbated it). I cut out caffeine entirely. I took a B complex, drank disgusting cherry flavored amino acids, took vitamins E and C, a cal-mag-zinc complex and started meditating and stuff. Really chilling out. I had been on a lot of immune boosting supplements and I cut them all out. A basic outline of my approach can be found here:
http://180degreehealth.com/2013/03/adrenal-fatigue-getting-back-to-basics
Good luck!
Oh, I also took Velvet Bean, which contains a precursor to dopamine and licorice, which behaves like cortisol in the body. I was testing nearly undetectably low on those hormones. I supplemented with them for a couple months.
Thank you so much, Julia. Almost everything I’d read recommends no sugar for adrenal fatigue. I tried to do it (and in the process got super restrictive with my diet), then eventually lost it and spent an entire weekend binging. So it’s good to hear a different opinion on that. I’ve done alot of what you recommend in your previous article…cut out almost all caffeine (still have one cup of decaf/day), sleep as much as I can, not working the super-stressful job that sent me down this road in the first place. But that also means I don’t have medical insurance for tests and appointments, so I’m on my own in this healing journey. That’s why I really appreciate all you’ve shared. And if you’d be willing to talk more about it outside this forum, please let me know where I can reach you. Many thanks for both the information and the humor in which you share it :)
You don’t know me…
I think it’s interesting what we are taught to ignore. And we (inc. me) are pretty clueless about our bodies.. Cold and hands and feet seem to be epidemic at my workplace. And people look at me like I’m batty when I say that’s a problem and maybe you should put down the 10L water bottle and eat a bit more salt. But if someone suggests that they should have a nice big cup of green tea to ‘warm themselves up’, everyone is nodding in agreement and heading to the kitchen to put on the kettle.
Our health care system is good at saving lives, not good at helping us improve our health. Recognizing that, I find a wealth of information on the Internet, though it has been difficult to sort through.
It definitely is difficult to sort through but there’s good stuff out there. Finding this site was a tremendous help to me. But the diagnose yourself sites? Not so much.
Information and more information is indeed helpful. It’s what helped me get over my severe anxiety. After many different doctors, many different pills, and many runs to the ER sure that I was dying, I got fed up and started researching on my own. My research finally led to the book Hope and Help For Your Nerves by Claire Weeks, which describes in detail the very predictable pattern of stress–>anxiety–>depression. She goes into detail regarding the physical sensations that accompany each step and what to do when you start to feel those sensations. The details are what helped me understand what was happening, and calm myself down.
Karen, I’ve read that book too! It was laying around in a coffee shop I worked in, gathering dust. I thought it looked really cheesy at first, but it was really helpful!
I am going to look for that book. Thank you. :)
Enjoyed that!
Well written and quite comical! And as you know all truly good comedy must be based in reality.
;)
I get so frustrated by the contradictions from the medical world. On the one hand I’m told that early detection is the key to cure, but then I’m dismissed as a hypochondriac for being concerned about pain (much of which was exacerbated by the stress of not knowing). It took me 4 years to get someone to take my abdominal complaints seriously and be diagnosed with ulcerative colitis rather than hysterical modern woman neurosis disorder. Excellent article by the by! I also agree that the Claire Weekes book should be mandatory reading for everyone who has ever had a symptom of nervous disorders. I.e everyone in the Western World.
Does any know if almond milk is considered to be a “warming” or “cooling” beverage?
It tends to be low-ish in calories, and has more PUFA than saturated fat, so I’d say it’s more a ‘cooling’ food. If you add some salt and maple syrup, it’s probably ok and can be warming, but I wouldn’t rely on it too heavily.
I personally find almonds to be cooling.
I just ordered Claire Weekes’ book for my Kindle! I consider myself a mild hypochondriac, and I’ve always been unrealistically nervous in certain situations. It is 99% of the time my mind wandering to irrational fears and “what-ifs” that exacerbates my nervousness! Thanks for the recommendation. And, thanks, Julia, for the great article!
Great article, and very timely for me.
I find my neurosis (spelling?) plays out as fears for my children’s health. Not good as I don’t want to turn them into hypochondriacs….
I’ll check out that book by Claire Weekes. In the meantime if anyone has any more advice about how to turn down the anxiety factor – I’m all ears!
If there was enough space on a page I would tell my story of bullshit doctors telling me this and telling me that. “Oh you’re just stressed or you have anxiety” GO FUCK YOURSELF. When you wake up everyday feeling like dogmeat something probably is wrong. Dont let a doctor try and convince you otherwise. Go see one that actually will help you. Homeopathic or someone that will run testing that matters. I recently had a doctor tell me “OH your estrodiol levels are high but that doesn’t matter, we dont even take that into consideration.” It’s disgusting.
About ten years ago, after college, I had myself convinced that I had a specific, incurable disease. I held that belief for about three years, multiple acute and general anxiety episodes, and two emergency room visits, where each doctor told me I was “healthy as a horse”, and was given brief scrips of Xanax. I then learned about hypochondrism (sp?) and mind-body connection. The internet, and Claire Week’s “Hope and Help” book, practically saved my life.
I am the exact opposite of hypochondriac and I avoid Western healthcare like the Plague. I recently walked around on a severely broken foot for 11 days before admitting that something could be wrong. lol. I know how dangerous it can be to place your health and well being into the hands of a medical doctor. I know this because I’m a nurse. ;-D
The adrenals are impaired, damaged and affected by every inoculation/vaccination that you receive. All organs are affected in different amounts. The mind is also affected by the poisonous chemical/biological cocktail that are called vaccinations because homeostasis is disrupted. Hypochondria is a convenient term used by the medical ‘profession’ to avoid the real issues of their willful poisoning of the patient. ALWAYS BLAME IT ON THE PATIENT ! surely not ! Symptoms of cold hands and feet can be the result of overhydration, but also low thyroid function due to impaired adrenals. The kidneys help to control water levels in the body. The adrenals help to control salts. The main target for damage caused by vaccinations are the kidneys. Some people have been convinced that they are hypochondriacs, there may be something genuinely wrong. As always, it’s best to find out for yourself, you know you’re own body better than anyone else.
Mike C. Very well said. I whole-heartedly agree with your comment. Unfortunately, with forced vaccinations quickly becoming a sad reality, there will be an endless number of sick individuals that medical doctors will laughingly call “hypochondriacs.” Very sad indeed.
Hi Debbie B, it is very sad…..but…..it’s up to the people to say NO. The governing bodies are ‘elected’ by the people.
The governing bodies have no real power if the most of the people say NO.
In a proper democracy the people have the ‘right’ to de-elect and/or re-elect at any time.
Vaccinations weaken/pacify the population, to do the will of the people in power. Vaccinations make you ill, just enough to keep paying the medical profession, Pharma and the controlling elite, continually. Fluoride is added to vaccinations, the water supply, toothpaste, etc. to subjugate the ‘masses’.
It was used in Russia and Germany to turn prisoners of war into a docile herd.
Add fluoride to aluminium [both combine readily] and you’ve got an extremely effective culling agent. Aluminium is added to drinking water to ‘clean’ it up.
If more people become aware of and query/investigate anything to do with their health, the people in power will be dealt a blow if action is taken against them.
But, they have a 250 year head start on us regarding vaccinations by needle.
Two people I adore:
1. Julia Gumm
2. Woody Allen
Hypochondria: An Inside Look
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/opinion/sunday/hypochondria-an-inside-look.html
Ha ha. Good read.
I get wrinkled fingertips on my right hand only, and then only on thr middle and 4th fingers. Only happens when hands are cold. A funny thing happens to me when I get pissed off, anxious or worried-my eyebrows get red and itchy. Sounds like the histamine response you talked about.
I also find it interesting how substances/words become scary sounding after being demonized in the media for long enough. Gluten is a great example. Its like it’s now become synonymous with death. Perhaps sugar is another example, although it sounds a little sweeter than gluten, hahaha.
Hello,
I am struggling with this probably largely due to an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, which I still have to deal with regarding shared custody of my daughter. I had a severe time of it when my daughter, now 4 1/2, was about 9 months. I could barely walk without resting frequently and was lightheaded and couldn’t think well. I recovered for the most part with some supplementation, but I think I have continued to struggle with a mild chronic case of it that causes me to just feel a tad crappy most of the time and fall prey to migraines, low blood sugar, heat sensitivity and a host of other little things. I had a stressful winter with my husband being out of work and a new baby arriving, followed by a move. Then I had to mediate with my ex this past week. I had requested separate rooms, but was forced to start in the same room. It threw me into such a state that I was shaking and lightheaded; as I calmed down my joints began to ache badly and continued for the rest of the afternoon. Then I just felt like crawling into bed and sleeping for a week, but I can’t really do that because I have a four year old and a nine month old (who I am breastfeeding). It’s been a couple days and I can still barely function after that experience. I have been trying to apply Matt’s advice to my diet for the last several months with little to no change in my symptoms. I’m not sure what I can do to heal at this time. I was also curious about the discussion of sugar because as I recall most advice I read about adrenal fatigue recommended avoiding sugar. Anyway, I was just hoping to reach out for some advice… I am not sure what I can do about it with little kiddos, but I REALLY want to fix it because we hope to have more kids before too long. I need to be at my best and find a way not to let the ongoing interactions with my ex continue to cause my health to deteriorate.
Thanks for any of your thoughts.