Select Page
Share post on ...Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Email this to someone
email

When I was in 6th grade my class took a big school trip to the nation’s capital. One of the defining moments in my life occurred at some shopping mall right in good ole? D.C. Growing up in Tennessee we had absolutely no sushi. Sushi was just something us yungins had only heard about.

But sho? nuff, right there at that good ole? D.C. shopping mall, square in the middle of the food court, was the first sushi I’d ever seen. My friends hit Mickey D’s, and I, without even thinking twice about it, ordered the weirdest sushi on the menu.

I took my tray back over to the homies, and it was octopus and raw fish nigiri sushi galore. My friends were amazed? and disgusted. Right in front of them I stuffed my face with this odd food, and was like, ?hey y?all, this here sushi’s mighty fine. Yawnt sum?? I’ve never really been the same since. Always a gastronomic pioneer.

Well, I was starting to feel like I was letting you guys down. I mean, here I am reporting my food intake, meal by meal, and I’ve hardly eaten anything that can be considered grotesque, weird, strange, revolting, or barbaric.

Okay, before I get to the climactic conclusion I will say that I’m feeling a little run down and my internet connection blows. Therefore, I am posting this quickly without much discussion this evening. And I really do apologize if I’ve been a little pigheaded lately, but you see, it’s not my fault. It’s just like they say, ?you are what you eat.

That’s right amigos. Last night I stewed up an entire 20-pound pig head. I couldn’t even fit the snout in the pot, but no matter, it made for great video and picture messages on my cell phone.

When I woke up in the morning, she was cooked up all nice and soft, so I plucked those eyes, peeled every bit of good meat off the face, and then transferred the empty skull over to the sink. There I took a small stone tool and crushed that badboy so I could empty out the brains ? and upon close scrutiny for all you guys that think that ?pig’s are smart. They can’t be too smart. That thing was like a walnut.

No matter. I chowed down on some pig face, had me a nice pig tongue, with a side of pig brain in a big stew with all the butter I could get down.

Note on your calendar that this is NOT April 1st.

Breakfast: Pig head broth, 6 ounces leftover duck with 2T duckfat

Lunch: 8 ounces grassfed beef patty cooked in 2T butter, rare, with 2 ounces cheese

Dinner: Pork tongue, ? pork brain, 8 ounces pork face in broth with 3T butter

I would say, ?wish you guys coulda seen this thing, but uhhh, you will. Photos will arrive later this month. Consider it a Christmas gift from me to you.

With love,
Matt

And for Primus die hards, I will say the bubbling broth was the closest approximation to ?pork soda? that I’ve come across.