By Derek Ingui
One of the problems, at least in my humble opinion, with the health and fitness industry is that too many people are taught, or at least lead to think, in terms of absolutes. An eye grabbing magazine headline may read something like this:
?Blueberries are loaded with Cancer fighting antioxidants!
This is all well and dandy, and may even be right on the money, but this statement somehow contorts itself in the mind of the casual reader that:
- A)??? If I eat a ton of blueberries I am drastically reducing my chances of getting cancer, or
- B) ? ? If I don’t eat a ton of blueberries, my chances of getting cancer are that much higher!
Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against blueberries. I eat my far share and would probably make it into the Blueberry Hall of Fame, if there were such a thing, but it’s this absolutist thinking that causes some of the diet and health paranoia that dominates media outlets and the minds of a large portion of the general population today.
It’s time we start thinking about health and fitness in a much broader, whole, and dare I say, ?holistic,? sense.
A friend of mine, who’s a very smart and well rounded fitness professional, taught me to think of health, fitness, and well being in the simple terms of:
INPUT (factors) =OUTPUT (desired results/goals/outcome)
In other words, what factors (input) can most efficiently and effectively be manipulated to achieve one’s desired results (output) in the shortest, safest, and easiest manner possible?
We hear fitness ?professionals? argue about one thing after the other. Over the years you’ve probably heard statements similar to these:
- ?Everyone should be performing the dead lift.
- ?Yoga is bad for your back because it can compromise the joints of your lumbar spine.
- ?Yoga is the most beneficial form of exercise because it lengthens your muscles.
- ?You should perform three to four 30 minute sessions of moderate cardio work a week.
- ?You don’t need any cardio work as long as your strength sessions are intense and fast enough.
- ?Only eat carbs post workout.
- ?Fast in the morning, and feast in the evening.
As you can tell, many times one absolutist statement directly contradicts another. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? And what’s right? And what’s wrong?
The truth is that there are hardly any absolutes. So depending on the statement and circumstances surrounding the statement these can be completely right, completely wrong, or somewhere in between.
There’s so much input (so many different factors) that can potentially play a role in the output, that it’s awfully hard to ever make a blanket statement.
Input (factors) that can affect a desired output (results) may include (but is definitely not limited to):
- A)??? ?Medical conditions.
- B)???? Genetics.
- C)???? Work stressors.
- D)??? Relationship stressors.
- E)???? Sunlight.
- F)???? Sleep patterns.
- G)??? Recreational drug use.
- H)??? Social influences.
- I)????? Environmental upbringing.
- J)????? Time availability.
- K)???? Family commitments.
- L)???? Food preparation knowledge.
- M)?? Expertise of strength coaches in your area.
The list is endless, and these all could, in some shape or form, affect the output (depending on the results looking to be achieved).
For example, and in sticking with our blueberry statement, if you’re eating blueberries with the ?goal,? or more likely the ?belief,? that they will reduce your chances of cancer, but you’re stressed from work, finances, and a relationship; you get 5 hours of sleep a night, and are slightly genetically predisposed for cancer, then blueberries may well be doing nothing to help lower your chances of acquiring this horrible disease.
On the flip side, you may be able to change the output (chances of being healthy and reducing the likelihood of acquiring cancer) by not eating any blueberries at all, but by picking up a hobby that you enjoy and that makes you happy, working on your problematic relationship, and spending a little more time ?reorganizing? your schedule to get some much deserved sleep. The latter may provide a better strategy for ?cancer prevention? than simply ?eating a handful of blueberries a day.
And yes, there is the chance that the blueberries may be your best bet, but my goal isn’t to try and discover what the most effective strategy for cancer prevention is. My goal is to show you that there are far more factors that can affect your output than all of these blanket absolutist statements we see and hear all the time in the health and fitness world.
So what are the inputs to reach MY outputs?
Again, I can’t sit here and tell you exactly what needs to be done. You’re an individual, and while biologically you may be close to everyone else, you’re not genetically identical. ? Also keep in mind that there are hundreds of other non biological factors that can factor into the equation.
Much to the chagrin of Matt Stone, because I know he hates this stuff, I will attempt to make some basic generalizations (not absolutes!):
An average adults? output (goals) usually include:
- 1)???? Look good.? Look hot. Look sexy. Look good naked. (any way you want to term this). Be ‘toned.? This usually involves adding a little muscle mass and taking away a little body fat.
- 2)???? Feel good. Have energy. Be happy.
- 3)???? Be healthy. Not be plagued by constant colds. Not be inflicted by serious disease/illness. Not be inflicted by injury or pain in your day to day living.
- 4)???? Live a long time.
That, in a nut shell, is about it.
And oh, by the way, people want to achieve all of the above while not affecting their daily routines, taking away from their ?fun,? or generally interfering with their life in any way, shape, or form.
Wow! Where to start?? Four simple goals, piece of cake, right?? Wellllll??a lot goes into them. Meaning, a lot of factors, individually, and how they interact as a unit, can affect these goals.
A lot of preventative measure in there too. ?Not become inflicted by serious illness.?!! That’s a hard one to address! Can it even be measured appropriately?!
See what I mean?? Not an easy task.
But when people do seek general, again GENERAL, not absolute, inputs to try and achieve these outputs, I usually tell them:
Input:
- Do something you find joy in doing, and get excited to do.? A hated job, commute, or f
orced task can cause a lot of chronic emotional stress. I’m not a scientist, and I’m not going to back this up with a 1,000 research papers, but this probably isn’t healthy. And even if it doesn’t matter, don’t you want to be happy?! - Have a lot of sex. ?Better yet, have a lot of sex with someone you love. I’ve read it’s even healthier. Health aside though, if you’re a typical human being, sex probably takes care of some of input #1.
- Don’t go on diets. Do you restrict your breathing?? Do you restrict your pooping?? Your sweating (well we try)?? Why would you want to restrict your biological need to eat when hungry and stop when full”
- Don’t become OCD about health and food.? This usually will interfere with your social life, at least somewhat, and friends are important.
- Find a form of movement(s) that you truly enjoy.? Moving is healthy, and more people should do more of it. But forcing yourself to lift weights or run on the treadmill for ?health? is absurd.
- Take sleep seriously, but not too seriously. ?Do you restrict your breathing? Your pooping?? Oh no, not this spiel
again! Sleep is a biological need. Try and listen to it. - Learn to cook with real food. You don’t need to be the best cook, and remember input #4, but Twinkies and soda pop will only go so far. Veggies are good, and when you’re body is lacking a certain vitamin or nutrient hopefully you’ll crave the food that can provide it. Hello salad, stir fry over rice, potatoes, coconut oil, and eggs!
- Acknowledge, at least to yourself, that life does not spontaneous become infinitely better with six pack abs, the perfect waist to butt ration, or arms to die for. ?These things probably won’t bring you any more friends, money, social status, or happiness.
- I almost left this last one off because this is where people tend to get paranoia and develop extremes, but?If you have done all of the above, and still want to achieve better ?results? in terms of the outputs listed above, find a method, or person, that can help you achieve this with the least invasive and most minimally lifestyle altering changes necessary to do so. For example, an effective 3X30 minutes a week strength routine to add muscle, or a simple ?wind down? routine at the end of the night that can be followed with consistency (because it’s so simple and easy) that will add an extra hour of sleep to your schedule, etc.
That’s it! Let’s do away with absolutes. They may or may not apply to you, and are probably taken out of context anyways. There are just too many factors to take into account when determining your health, fitness, and well being to have absolutes. We are a living, breathing, adapting biological system. To think in terms of absolutes and blanket statements is fairly ignorant and stupid. The factors that contribute to our ?inputs? are many, some are in our control, but many are not, and the ?outputs? among different groups of peoples, demographics, age, gender, and environmental upbringing reflect this.
Hear! Hear!! :D
yay…I’m the first! Bam!
I’m shallow – I know I’d be happier with just a good waist to butt ratio, it wouldn’t even have to be perfect.
While I do agree having 6 pack
Abs isn’t the
Most ideal
Health status, but being shredded sure
Does do wonders for me, I recommend males to maintain 10-14% bf
That’s not a absolute, that’s your perception lol. Everyone will have different percentages they will say is right, depending on circumstance, sport, life situation. So many variables. In some countries they only marry heavier men or woman still these days. They still live in a society based on weight equating wealth. There is no right way or wrong way, just another way.
And great article saying to do away with absolutes, I was being sarcastic in the above comment. Park , that’s great what you state and I accept that. I also will accept another’s point of view since that is the information and beliefs they have gathered up until this point. It’s all good!
If you got them by the balls there hearts and minds will follow :)
Thanx I agree
Great post!
Makes me wonder how much health is reaped through diet and lifestyle changes, and how much is attributed to the placebo effect? After all, people who follow diametrically opposed diets are equally healthy. Is it that their diets share common benefits? Is it that they are equally resiliant to illness, regardless of diet? Is it that they are experiencing the placebo effect? Is it a mix of all the above?
Great article! I think this should be required 180 reading!
i think the suggestion to have a lot of sex is not helpful. very much like “eat less” “drink more water” “don’t use salt” we should have the amount of sex that a couple has an appetite for–no more, no less.
now, if you are having sexual problems at home, sure, fix ’em! sex DOES create feel-good hormones. i’m all for it. at least when i’m ovulating!
this article was obviously written by a man who is fertile every day and therefore horny every day. a woman’s urge is driven by monthly cycles, not daily.
but is this all bad for men? the act of ejaculation is a drain on a man. i’ve seen charts on the tao of sex that talk about how often a man SHOULD ejaculate, health wise. again, who are these experts to say so! but there IS a reason football coaches don’t want their guys doing it the night before.
so waiting around for his honey to get horny isn’t all bad for a man. there is something to be said for “the best sauce is a good appetite”.
unless we go to a polygamous society men’s ideas about “having lots of sex!” are going to stay pipe dreams… if you don’t mind a bad pun.
this reminds me of the old joke where the man gets home from the hospital and says to his wife: “the doctor says the only cure for my disease is to have sex every night!” to which his wife replies: “you’re gonna die!”
Wow- that’s a terrible joke.
Men and women have different biologies, no doubt, and I think it is important to find someone who has a comparable sex drive as you. But I don’t like the idea that the male sex drive is somehow dispensable and therefore justifiably cast aside.
I would agree. The vitality of the male sex drive is a wonderful thing, and in my experience there are way too many tags in life that interfere with it, such as stress and whatnot. It is definitely not the case that men are all ubiquitously up for it all the time, and, just like the female sex drive, men’s sexual needs should be nurtured and encouraged, especially in the context of a relationship. Sex increases testosterone levels, reduces stress and lots of other good things, so erring on the side of more rather than less, when feeling a bit on the fence about it, is probably no bad thing!
Actually a females sexuality has been proven to be stimulated by the gestures particular to her such as wooing, chivalry, foreplay, if her sexual boundaries are identified and respected..therefore her ability to assert and be in control in that sense.. so she can become deffenseless with someone she can trust and understands.Safe thrill and spontaneity from her partner.
Um this is because her ANS must be activated. During proper release ie not just clitoral orgasmbut g spot and vaginal.. Multiple. The amygdaloid turns off, inhibitions are lost. She may talk in tongues and ask for certain things. This is only biologically possible if she is in a safe environment with someone capable.
If a female is not aroused by her partner and life, if sex is more a chore etc Than what stimulates her sexually is not being properly addressed by herself and her other.
Women are different anatomically. The nerve endings from the genitals are in direct connection to the vertebra, there for hypothamus, patuitary etc. (the mind).. It’s more psychological.
not so much with men. Therefore how a man approaches you, his track record, behavior etc can impact you’re ability to achieve arousal. He must understand self control and focus on you’re subtle responses. Goal orientated approach is not conducive.
If women achieve release with there partner and fully achieve there desires sex becomes far more insatiable, the degree of oxytocin release in women means attachment and receptiveness to partner increases etc. if you’re not given time enough to smell him(or he doesn’t smell right to u individually) if there is not enough eye contact(which allows for communication of level of arousal and health of partner and mirroring behavior. If he doesn’t know how to touch you right or isn’t willing too put in the time. Than he’s inhibiting you’re inner freakishness for lack of a better term, he too loses ;-)
Women are just more complicated sexually but once understood very erotic.
I hope this was of interest. Haha
I think the author’s target audience is younger people. Much, much younger.
That’s a funny joke. Do you fire that zinger at the old-folk home
It’s been showmen that if a male drinks the fluids released from the ovaries when a female “ejaclates” he has profound energy. Also when a women takes in a males semen she can be revitalized.
the only way to find someone with a comparable sex drive is for men to be with men.
it isn’t that men’s sex drive is dispensable. it’s just that it men and women are always going to be on different tracks!
isn’t it just as unfair that men CAN’T have sex when not turned on, but everyone thinks that women CAN?
i can tell you that if a man turns to his woman and says that he is expecting lots more sex in order to become more healthy that woman may just turn to him and say: “uhh… how about more masturbation big guy? i already think we have lots of sex!”
and then the man may just place all the blame for his lack of health on wifey.
Queenbee- first off, that’s not true. Lots of men and women find partners with comparable sex drives, without partnering up with their own gender.
More to the point, I don’t understand why someone would get involved in an exclusive relationship, let alone a marriage, with someone who is not invested in meeting their needs sexually. That doesn’t mean the dude says jump and wifey says, “How high?” But marriage is at base a sexual relationship. If meeting each other’s sexual needs is not part of the arrangement, then you have a needlessly complicated housemate/best buddy/business partner/co-daycare provider.
If we switched things up a bit in that joke above, how would this sound: wife comes home from the doctor and says the cure for my disease is helping out more around the house. Husband says I think I help out enough already. Guess you’re gonna die.
Or let’s say it’s more comparably but non-sexually intimate. The cure is a massage every night for wifey, or a footrub. Hubby says: you’re gonna die.
Hahaha- that joke’s hilarious, I guess.
Your comments are awesome Rob. You’re scoring points left and right with my GF.
after a long marriage things turn around and then the woman may be able to perform sex more often than the man.
put yourself at 60 with erectile dysfunction, low testosterone and wife turning to you and expecting you to improve her health WITH LOTS OF SEX!
as i said, this is a loaded suggestion, very similar to “drink lots of water!” “eat less calories”!
You’re changing the context now.
I never disagreed with the idea that couples should have an amount of sex that works for them. You were the one who made that statement and immediately jumped to the idea that men would be wanting more, and anyway, according to the tao of sex, it’s good for them not to get off so much anyway. Better he should wait for wifey to get horny, and let his needs go unfulfilled until she’s good and ready to meet them. That was what I was responding to.
Now we’re talking about a 60 year old with ED, low testosterone and a sexually eager wife? Sure, but you’re trying to have it both ways. In the latter case, I would absolutely expect the husband to help meet his wife’s needs. There are all sorts of ways that can happen, even with ED- I’ll leave it to your imagination.
The author’s entry isn’t about you. You’re sucking the air out of the room because you’re making everything about you. The author is speaking in great generalities hence the theme of the entry. I am sorry about your poor sex-life. I really am, but you have to stop with the outrage at the author’s mere mention that sex may make you happier.
rob said: “Queenbee- first off, that’s not true. Lots of men and women find partners with comparable sex drives, without partnering up with their own gender.”
really? REALLY? :) do you hang around on the internet much? been in a relationship over 3 years?
i’ve been married 25 years, this year. and i can tell you. men would have sex with both legs shot out from under them. men, given a harem to go nuts in would have sex all day every day! most women who want sex multiple times of day every day have psychological issues or have ultra high testosterone. JMO!
this may not be fair but it is true. we are built differently–in order to propagate the species. we each have our burdens to bear. we have pregnancy and nursing, you have a heavy sex urge.
Everyone knows this about guys, that we have this biological imperative to have sex- it’s so banal as to be a joke. But if you’re not interested in working with that, why would you attach yourself to a man?
It’s like starting a business and your partner says he’s not interested in helping to make it profitable. Sometimes you might get the paycheck you’re looking for, sometimes not. But you should totally still be a part of this organization anyway and not go anywhere else. Why do you have to be so materialistic anyway? Frugality is a virtue after all.
i disagree with this statement: marriage is at base a sexual relationship.
marriage is at base a life partnership/love relationship in which sex is a part.
we are ying and yang. both forces are needed for the tribe. some people have both ying and yang within them (such as a gay person) and they marry another person who has a balance of ying and yang that meets their needs. but a very feminine woman like myself needs a masculine man like my husband… and i don’t pretend that i have ever had the type of libido that he does. that is why i attach myself to a man.
i did have a boost in libido when i went under 100 pounds and lost most of my estrogen and stopped menstruating. although i was hornier, it WAS NOT good for my marriage–unfortunately!
when you males have shuffled off the mortal coil and are no longer incarnated as a young human man with high sexual needs you will realize that sex was only a part of marriage. i can see that it would be hard to realize this otherwise.
sometimes i do wonder about monogamy– given that men do seem to suffer for the need of more sex than marriage usually provides. however, it would only be fair for men to allow women to also be polyamorous! and most high testosterone men would never allow this.
if my husband said to me at the beginning of the marriage that it was required that i have sex every single day of the marriage i hopefully would NOT have said “i do” because i know that it would have created much resentment on my part.
i think that a 60 year old man with a lower libido might find servicing his wife tiresome and and ego drain after a while. better that she service herself if she needs more than he is “up” for.
i have enjoyed this discussion. i think the “gods” snicker when they consider how different are the sex needs of male and female humans. but i suppose we are not so different than cows! female cows come into heat… bulls are always at the ready.
I think you are making general assumptions based upon your marriage. I think the key is communication. You seem sexually frustrated, which is fine. Your anecdotal proof in saying having sex can be unhealthy is understood, especially when one partner has to wear an oxygen tank during intercourse.
I have to agree with Billy. I am female and myself and my female friends *all* complain about not getting enough sex from our partners. I am about to be married, and they are both married (one with her husband for four years and the other is with her husband for 11 years). Df and I have been together for over 6 years, and I had several long term relationships before I met him, since I was a serial monogamist. I strongly disagree with your assertion that all men want sex every day all day, and that all women only want it around ovulation. That has never been my experience.
I used to have high testosterone, but have had low testosterone for years now. Yet my sex drive is still good. I also do not, and have not ever noticed any increase in desire around ovulation. I’m interested in sex all cycle long.
Plus, most men I have dated do not want sex every day. Maybe they think they would, but when it is offered to them they often don’t want it daily.
I don’t think you can really generalize about women’s sex drives this way. There are plenty of women with high sex drives. I think the pill drives down libido across the population, and after childbirth things can get tough from what I’ve heard, but I don’t think women necessarily have low sex drives. I agree most healthy women don’t want sex all day every day, so yeah it’s lower than men’s, but not to an extreme degree. It’s pretty workable since men understand women want sex a bit less often – in fact I would argue this probably builds men’s desire – you always want something more when it’s not totally available. Personally, I have my highest sex drive at certain times of the month, but it’s still pretty high the rest of the time.
I don’t believe it’s possible to have a healthy marriage without a healthy sex life. One partner may think it’s ok to be friends rather than lovers, but the other partner probably won’t, and either way it opens the door to way too much outside temptation.
my point ISN”T that women’s sex drives are less than men.
my major point is: is it opening a can of worms to tell people “have lots of sex!” and that it is like saying “drink lots of water!” “eat less calories!”. people should have the amount of sex they are up for, no more or less, like any appetite.
and to further say do it with your loving partner… you are REALLY opening a can of relationship worms when people start to think their partner SHOULD give them lots of sex because of health reasons.
applying shoulds to yourself is bad enough. to apply them to others is going to be maddening.
and just as an aside, i think that it is the odd/rare case in which people cheat because of lack of sex. people cheat because of an innate desire for variety and the rush of addictive feel-good hormones that come with the new relationship energy.
I don’t know, I think sex is a pretty universal relaxant. I think people can decide for themselves what “a lot” is. I have yet to meet a happy frigid person.
I think lack of sex is a big factor in cheating – no better way to let the passion in your relationship die and start craving the rush and energy of a new relationship. If you’re doing it right in your relationship, sex with a new person would be less satisfying.
I think you’re wrong. Given the choice between regular satisfying sex with one’s partner, and some strange that might not pan out and might destroy one’s family, I think most choose the former. But when partners make it more and more difficult to get one’s needs met, previously undesirable options start to look attractive.
Anyway- how far do you take the ‘no shoulds’ rule? Do you think married couples have any obligations to each other at all? *Should* they support each other emotionally/financially/professionally/etc. Or does ‘no should’ing apply only to sex?
My point is not that more sex is indiscriminately better, but that mutual sexual satisfaction should be a shared priority. You’re the one who seems to imply that mutual sexual satisfaction is either impossible or not a priority.
i think that if a person feels stressed out by life they might want to try abondoning shoulds for other people. it is a huge relief to realize the only ones that we control are ourselves.
if a person decides to start experimenting to see if more sexual stimulation and release helps their health, they can suggest to their partner that they will be working on this. partner may not want to spend every night at 9:30 working on partner’s orgasm. partner might want to watch CSI or continue writing the great american novel.
Oh, I also wanted to say, I think another factor here is that women have a greater tendency to marry men they are not really attracted to (for security, financial reasons, etc.). In that scenario, I bet their libido gets low after awhile.
And it’s exacerbated by birth control pills,which hormonally disrupt attraction signals, and which we’ve mentioned here before.
Yup, I think you’re referring to the studies which suggest that if a woman meets and marries a man while on the pill, when she goes off, she may find she is no longer attracted to him. Recipe for disaster.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704681904576313243579677316.html
you guys are idealistic! perhaps i’m jaded by 25 years of marriage. but i’ve seen both sides of this scenario. maybe you are just better people than me and i wish you the best in your marriages. if it works, do it.
i personally want to feel my libido rise after not having sex for several days. i don’t want to be overloaded on this best, wonderful thing. i don’t want to have creme brulee every night.
lets go back to the horny 60 year old wife and the low T husband. does anyone remember the older couple on 3’s company? if she tries to have sex with him every night there will be many nights where he has no response. i would worry, if i were her, that he might stop considering what she is offering as special–this naked 60 year-old that doesn’t make his pants hot! especially when he looks at twenty year-olds on TV and gets aroused.
increased appetite due to waiting between times is nothing to sneeze at when you have done it 36 thousand times together. you only have so many tricks in a long marriage you know!
i do think that the less horny of the two in a relationship has an obligation to bring any desires immediately to the attention of the horny one.
is masturbation not an option round here?
i think if people who are married still admire each other greatly they will have great sex.
throw in an idea like “you should have lots of sex!” and you may just have happily married people second guessing themselves and their spouses.
I think there is an age factor here, too. I can’t pretend to understand how things are after 25 years of marriage. I’ve only ever been with someone a fraction of that time. I’m guessing, based on this, that Rob and I are a good amount younger and likely have higher-raging sex drives (although that’s not always true!). So, I guess I speak for those at my age. If someone isn’t having a lot of sex, there is likely a problem. I’m not sure what happens after 25 years of marriage, but I would still say if it’s a rare occurrence, it’s probably not ideal.
I agree with you on the making yourself too available point. I think I pointed it out in my earlier comment.
Now you’re addressing masturbation! This entry is about health and fitness. ‘The Great American Challenge’ is on sale for $65 at the adult store I frequent.
Are you resentful of young people? Young people who have healthy safe-sex? Do you reminisce about Woodstock 69 and indulgence of you yesteryear? You come across as a jealous old lady. Get control of yourself.
Holy crap, Billy A, that comment’s awfully obnoxious and mean. I completely disagree that the Queen comes across as a “jealous old lady” and she seems in complete control of herself. IMO, it’s an interesting debate/discussion about marital sex from a few different POV. No need to piss in the Cheerios. Even if it’s nice, yellow piss.
I don’t think the thread was too off-topic (who doesn’t like to talk about masturbation, it’s part of health!), but even if it were, long tangents seem to be common and accepted after 180 articles — and are part of the charm. In fact, I found the thread interesting enough to remind me to get hold of Sex At Dawn, a book I’d been meaning to read for a while.
Shut up, stupid!
I second your comment, Mighty.
billy i just got off the phone with your mama and she said to come up from the cellar and that you are grounded from the internet.
I’m really enjoying this.
You know, you’re right, I should stop vitriolic posts towards you. Maybe you should come down to the cellar I reside in, and we can hatch it out like adults. Just don’t shatter your hip walking down the stairs in that cringe-inducing elderly gait.
i’d put you over my knee you rotten little whipper snapper! until then, maybe this will help:
http://www.mommy-issues.com
Please scroll up and read my earlier post. There is a lot of science into female sexuality. There is too much discord between men and women.
If a women does not want sex than why needs to be addressed, it could be related to sex as we ubderstand it or other variables in the relationship.
If a pussy is not wet and willing NEVER make demands ion her. This will further damage the relationship and her….(sexuality)
Manipulation, coercion is not on the table.
Evan general themes jokes about female sexuality, harassment she was subjected to that day, themes in music can affect her when the time comes for sex.
. If she trusts him, can communicate and they can work towards what she requires than there will be healthy sex/ relationship. All external factors will be just that.
I have a very expressive, freaky, intimate sexuality and am very sexually responsive. But not with just anyone and not unconditionally and not all the time.
There are many ways to be erotic and sex shouldn’t be the only erotic expression in a relationship.
Also science has showmen that feeling the breasts increases oxytocin, for her stroking is important for relaxation hormones which is only also the case in lower mammals. This is all not the same for men.
You are the one who opened that can of worms. Now the worms are everywhere.
Jerking off rules.
Source for the statement that having sex with someone you love is healthier?
Church and disney movies doesn’t count. Kind of chocked to see such BS promoted on a site like this
Men only produce oxytocin if they trust the person they are sleeping with. For women this Is not the case, so women should be circumspect about who they let fondle them. Oxytocin is responsible for attachment.
Now if a female thinks she is safe or is seduced seductively than oxytocin is release Autonomic Nervouse System is activated. Than bam he takes advantage or acts indiscriminately, we’ll that litterally effects her creativity and creative expression in life following the event.
If he is not made aware ad what she wants from him or she doesn’t her herself BAM shes’ll feel like shit post sex.
Sex debate aside, this is a good list. I guess there could be various ways to finesse the sex part to make it more universal … my own thought is that sex is another Goldilocks thing like appetite, thirst and need for exercise.
Anyway, my main comment is I like that this is only NINE things, or maybe even 8-and-a-half, if you discount to reflect the caveats on #9. Other writers would’ve strained for an even 10, and it shows an estimable minimalism to resist the temptation.
I think the author’s piece is about recognizing the arrogance of the ‘my-way-or-the-highway’ mentality of the leading and so-called cutting-edge health and fitness gurus. I think these guys, (and I don’t want to throw anyone specific under the bus *cough cough Mike Boyle cough*) are isolating the common man who is simply looking to employ a healthy life-style. The nature of this business is becoming cultish; the intelligentsia are acting as the gatekeepers to the health and fitness key of enlightenment… In this single post the author is simply recognizing this culture of oneness and satirizing it with the blueberry concept. It is refreshing to point out the dangerous culture of CSCS’s polarizing, ego-driven material and theories. (Remember, in the end this is all theory backed up by science containing variables that were toyed with to support the CSCS’s desired outcome). As for the innocuous inclusion of safe-sex being healthy, people like Queen Bee should not take it and explore the taboos of sex on a health and fitness platform. I don’t think the author’s intent was to promote promiscuity. If you want to discuss your 25 year marriage and your sex life in detail, I think Penthouse magazine is looking for writers to contribute to their ‘Moldy-Oldies’ fantasy letter contest. I heard the grand prize winner receives a walking-cane, free Ensure for a life-time, and a Credence Clearwater Revival box-set. Good luck.
ouch! i’ve been sorely reprimanded!
Good on you for taking it in good humor, queenbee.
Billy- pretty worked up there dude. Probably wanna chill.
K, McLovin, I’ll take a chill-pill…
Hogwash. Sounds like a nutritional postmodernism.
Thanks for all the viewpoints and discussion. All very valid points. Since the sex comment has seemed to have gotten the most attention, for better, or as it looks, maybe for the worse, I will try to clarify what I intended.
I like how Matt, and the 180 Degree Health community, uses (or has at least touched upon) one’s sex drive as ONE, of many, indicator(s) of what’s happening in your body.
Biologically speaking, our main mission is to procreate. If you are of reproductive age and have a low, to extremely low, libido, this COULD BE an indicator that maybe something is a little off that COULD BE (not def is) adversely affecting your health.
For example:
High stress job + inadequate calorie intake + excessive exercise with lack of sleep = low libido.
This is probably a scenario that many people are dealing with on a day to day basis. This low sex drive can be used as an indicator that something is a little off, as in the above example. Another indicator often used on 180 Degree Health is temperature. Or another one could be energy levels, or mood.
I could have worded input #2 a little better and more detailed:
Ideally, and if you are of reproductive age (i.e. not 10 or 93), you should have a fairly high sex drive. If you do, and if you’re values and morals allow, do not be afraid to act upon this urge. In the same basic sense that you should not starve yourself, there could actually be some health (as some studies have shown) benefits associated with having fairly regular sex. If you do not have a high sex drive, but are suppose to be ?in your prime,? than it may be of some benefit to find out why your sex drive is so low; as it could possibly have negative consequences on your health.
But then again, ?have more sex,? or ?a lot of sex,? sounds way better! Remember though, I said that the inputs listed weren’t absolutes, kind of the whole point of the whole post! but more of general recommendations that could help in achieving most people’s (at least in my experience) four main goals:
Look good, feel good, be healthy, and live a long time.
The main point of the post was to present a simply idea (maybe it’s time to do away with absolutes), show how there are many factors that come into play with any health/fitness/wellness ?goal,? discuss some of the normal goals of the typical average adult, and give some general recommendations that one could tinker with, if they so choose, that could possible change their health for the better. And hopefully do this in a fun, clear, and somewhat entertaining manner. After all, it is a blog post, not a thesis paper.
It’s probably possible to live to 90 and die a virgin, just like it’s possible to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and live till 90. It’s not an absolute!!!!! It seemed like a fun little input to throw in, and it could potentially impact one’s health in a large way. If not for the fact of the actual sex, then of finding out and tweaking the variable that is keeping your libido so low in the first place.
I come from a long line of people who can smoke (I don’t), drink, and eat the fat off steaks and live well into old age.
Every body responds differently to stimuli. In my opinion absolutes exist due to laziness. It is much easier for a CSCS to say ” Everyone Should Deadlift For Lower-Back Pain” than for them to cater towards a smaller group of specific people who may have history of lower back trauma, and probably shouldn’t be doing deads. There are dozens of variables why people should deadlift and a dozen variables as to why they shouldn’t be performed. The vague nature of someone posting “” Everyone Should Deadlift For Lower-Back Pain” begs a lot of questions: Heavy deadlifts? Deadlifts in higher rep ranges? Trap bar deadlifts? Sumo deadlifts? Stiff-legged? RDL? What kind of lower back pain? Facet pain? Spasms from working 20years as a carpenter? Serious trauma? Sciatica? Someone on a high Omega 3 diet? Someone who is currently being treated for back pain? Someone who has weak hip extensors? Strong trunk? Weak trunk? Age?
A lot of variables. The authors article is actually really good, who ever edited it did a real good job.
By far the best piece I have seen on this blog or most any blog…imo. Thanks for sharing and I only selfishly wish I had written it! Good work Derek, whoever you are. ;)
(need a link to your blog, or when it happens)
This is awesome, seriously!