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Aurora, known in my household as schmookie-wookie muffin honey biscuit ? or something along those lines, had jaw surgery performed on Cinco de Mayo ? just 4 short weeks ago.

I did a post about it back then, bragging about how healthy she has managed to get herself over the past 16 months or so ? re-mineralizing/de-arthritisizing her jaw joint, overcoming an autoimmune disease completely without a trace of it ever occurring, re-establishing the regularity of her menstrual cycle, and so forth (including a complete cessation of cold sore outbreaks ? something I previously mentioned as ?herpes outbreaks? without specifying that they were ORAL, not, um ? well, let’s just say she said, ?Oh great, now all your followers think I was like a former prostitute?).

Anyway, her jaw surgery was ?great success. Prior to jaw surgery the surgeon referred to her, in complex medical terminology, as a ?banana head. A little scary looking in this photo perhaps, but you can definitely see the banana head thing going on.

As well as in her initial head scan?
But now, with 33 screws (not including the one that’s loose, wacka wacka!), 1 hook, and a buttload of titanium strapped to various parts of her skull she looks like a Terminator. After losing 25 pounds in 28 days despite 3 milkshakes a day (can you say high metabolism as a result of pre-surgery overfeeding?), she’s not only a Terminator, but a Terminator with an ass like a 10-year old boy, which I will not include a photo of.
Anyway, a lot of you guys have been asking about her lately, and here’s your update. She’s doing great. Her teeth all fit together perfectly and she’ll be chewing soon (6-8 weeks longer before she graduates to scrambled eggs, so like, soon on an archaeological time scale).

I would’ve loved to put up a photo of her face when it was swollen the size of a large balloon, but didn’t for fear that Nikoley would call her ?carbo face? and recommend she return to running marathons on only eggs, salad, and peanut butter (which is a great way, if anyone is interested, in getting rid of those pesky menstrual cycles, developing autoimmune disease, deadly shellfish allergies, sleep problems, and mood problems, and getting really ?hot? by the health and beauty standards set by the fashion industry).

As an aside for you numbers geeks, it was tough to wrap my head around just how it was possible for her to lose so much weight in such a short period of time.  Obviously, losses of water – at least 5 pounds worth, is to be expected.  But that still leaves 20 pounds unaccounted for.  Considering her BMR is probably around 2,000-2,500 calories per day, and she has been able to consume, on average since day 1, about 800-1,000 calories per day by my guesses, this leaves a calorie deficit of about 30,000 calories (1,500*20).  1 pound, as we’ve all been informed, is 3,500 calories (3,500*20 = 70,000 calories).  So there’s something strange about her dropping a supposed 70,000 calories when she couldn’t have possibly dropped that many calories.

Aha, 1 pound of fat is about 3,500 calories, but a pound of lean mass is more like 600 calories – thus a calorie deficit of 3,000 calories is enough to lose 5 pounds of lean mass, but not enough to lose a single pound of fat.  All the more reason to be cautious and smart when attempting weight loss.  If you’re losing fat and lean mass at the same rate you’re losing nearly 6 pounds of lean mass for every 1 pound of fat!  She’s obviously lost a good deal of fat, but the loss of lean body mass has been noticeable too.  Not that she could do anything about it.  It’s natural to have a small appetite after a big, traumatic surgery.

Sadly, most who do manage to lose 25 pounds in 28 days following a typical low-calorie diet probably lose a ton of lean body mass.  10-15 pounds of fat is the maximum one can expect to lose in such a time frame without superhuman quantities of exercise.

1 pound of lean body mass is 454 grams
LBM is roughly 2/3 water – the remainder is predominantly protein
Thus, lean body mass contains roughly .33 pounds/151 grams protein
151 grams protein X 4 calories per gram = 604 calories per pound of LBM with .66 pounds/302 grams water loss

I would guess that the 25 pounds lost therefore are comprised of about:

7 pounds fat (25,500 calories)
4.5 pounds protein (8,172 calories)
13.5 pounds water

Total calorie deficit estimate based on above calculations = 33,672