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From what I can tell there are 5 basic metabolic types.

1) Excellent

2) Mediocre

3) Poor

4) Heinous

5) Pathetic

The Pathetic metabolism is marked by tremendous weakness and constant cold body temperature. Eating anything of sustenance causes bloat. Bouts of charcoal constipation interspersed with diarrhea is the digestive function of the pathetic metabolic type at best. Allergies to everything except water, but even water can exacerbate indigestion. Muscles are emaciated and the body is tremendously gaunt and underweight. Depression would be used to describe this person’s mental state when they’re in a good mood, much less a bad one. I know this metabolism very well after starving in the Wilderness for 44 days several years ago.

The Heinous metabolism is a lot like the pathetic metabolism, only without the emaciation. Frequent illness and allergies to many things, including foods are present. IBS is very commont, and indigestion is still present. Often very gassy and sensitive to many things like the pathetic metabolism. This is common amongst vegetarians and women in their 20’s that are doing everything they can to be healthy, such as exercise very hard, eat a low-fat or low-carb diet, drink soy milk, and practically live off of smoothies and salads. 100 calorie snack bars are also a favorite of those with the Heinous type metabolism. I spent many years with this metabolic type as well, with a touch of the poor metabolic type. Body temperature usually runs around 96-97 degrees F in the groggy mornings.

The Poor metabolism is the most common form of metabolism. Although many poor metabolism types feel pretty good, have decent spirits, and half decent digestion most of the time ? they don’t look so hot. Edema is present and bodies are swollen with excessive body fat stores. They are tired a lot of the time, and they are constantly hungry. Allergies, asthma, acne, male pattern baldness, and menstrual problems abound. Weight problems are always an issue. As they age, pain increases, zest for life diminishes, and the typical wings of metabolic syndrome besiege them. Many baby boomers are of the poor metabolic type. They get by, but heart attack, diabetes, and cancer danger lurks around every corner.  Arthritis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Autoimmune disease, and other pestering illnesses grab them the moment they slip towards the Poor metabolic type. 

The Mediocre metabolism is the kind that most of the healthiest people you know embody. They can eat sweets, drink coffee in the morning, have beers with the gang and eat until they are full and maintain a healthy weight. They have no pressing psychological or digestive problems. They rarely need to go to the doctor. Their skin is pretty healthy, and their teeth appear to be a nice, white color. They have pretty good and consistent energy levels, like sports and other activities but aren’t exercise fanatics, they don’t think about what they eat all that much but prefer real food, and they never diet. Pigging out on junk food generally doesn’t make them feel good, so they don’t do it. They have no serious addictions. They are generally more attractive than the average Joe and Joanne. But they are still not immune to diseases of aging. They are almost as prone to get heart disease and cancer as the rest of the population.

The Excellent metabolism is an extreme rarity. Only those with very strong constitutions that also nourish themselves with lots of high-quality food even have a shot at remaining in this metabolic state beyond childhood. They have straight teeth, have never had cavities, and don’t need glasses. They have never had frequent illness, or an illness that lasted for more than a few days. They also seem to never get injured, even doing dangerous sports like skiing or jogging. Once upon a time such metabolic excellence was required just to survive. Not anymore though. There’s a fix for all those problems. They live into old age without heart disease, stroke, diabetes, obesity, Alzheimer’s, arthritis, osteoporosis, or any other common malady that accompanies aging.

This is of course a gross oversimplification and a total facetious ode to the idea of metabolic typing. Yes, we are all metabolically unique, but when it comes to the big picture, you can either identify your metabolic type and try to cater to its weaknesses, or you can do as much as you can to improve your metabolism. The excellent metabolism is what we strive to find ways to achieve at 180, no matter who we are or what our backgrounds or heredity may be.

I was born as a 4, became an instant 2-3 when I hit puberty, then slowly slipped back into the 3-4 range by my late teens (with a brief dip into 5 thanks to overexcercising on a low-calorie diet) before finally figuring out how to live and nourish myself in a way that yields metabolic improvement. I’m not a 1 yet by any means, but I’m a pretty solid 2 now, and I don’t take it for granted. I hope I’m on my way, and that if I ever have children, what I’m doing will contribute to them being born above 4, where I started life. That’s a real sign that ground has been made up for, and the tides of degeneration are turning to regeneration.

Without further ado, I give you the most detailed description of the Excellent metabolic type, referred to by Henry Bieler as ‘the adrenal type. This is definitely what we should all strive for in our health pursuits?

From Henry Bieler’s Food is Your Best Medicine (1965):

?The physical energy of the adrenal type is seemingly inexhaustible, as is the nervous response of the sympathetic system, a result of perfect oxidation of phosphorous in the nerve tissue. Oxidation of carbon in the muscular system gives the adrenal type his great warmth. Thus, the temperature of his body is scarcely ever below 98.8, with hands and feet always pleasantly warm. As digestion and detoxication of food poisons depend greatly upon oxidation in the liver and intestines, it follows that the typical adrenal type, with his perfect oxidation, has thorough digestion. In fact, he may and often does boast that he can eat any and all kinds of food without discomfort. The exogenous uric acid products as well as the indoxyl compounds are completely detoxicated in the liver, do not accumulate in the blood, nor are they found in the urine.

?The skeletal muscles are well developed and have splendid tone. Fatigue is practically unknown to the adrenal type. His muscular endurance is spectacular. And the perfect tone of the involuntary muscles is evidenced by complete and rapid peristalsis, resulting in several bowel evacuations daily. He can dine on the most impossible food combinations imaginable with no evil results??

?The quality of the blood is characteristic. A slight to marked polycythemia (more red cells than usual) occurs; leucopenia, or abnormal white cell count on the low side, is never noted. The blood, which is of a rich, red color, clots quickly. Fatal hemorrhage seldom occurs. The immunity against bacterial invasion is spectacular. The typical adrenal type hardly ever becomes infected, even with venereal diseases??

?A member of the adrenal-type group has a phlegmatic disposition ? easygoing, jolly, slow to anger, never bothered with insomnia, fear or ?cold feet. He will often go out of his way to avoid a quarrel. Customarily, he has a wide circle of friends because he is warm-hearted and surrounded by an ?aura? of kindly sympathy.

?Splendid circulation gives him warm, magnetic hands??

?He never worries?His digestion is good and he is seldom constipated. It is possible for him to stand more treatments, operations and even more lung hemorrhages than any other type of patient. He is the patient most often discharged as arrested or cured. All the treatment necessary for his recovery is supplied by bed rest and fresh air.

Now that is what I’m talkin? about. Can we get there? We’ll see.

Happy Holidays buckaroos! Eat up and get down!

Be sure to check out my latest 180 Kitchen video ? making some mushrooms.