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Apologies kind followers for the recent raves of fellow comrade-gone-wild, Bruce K. It’s been real, and it’s been fun, but the loyal followers have had enough.

Although, for whatever pains and frustration it has caused anyone, or what damage Bruce may inflict upon himself or others with his IQ of 12,000,000 ? it may be worth it.


Because someone proposing to be a member of the Bruce K. Royal fan club posted a lengthy rant that mentioned Bruce’s superpowers and his childhood rearing, involving being suckled by Triceratops. After peeing my pants once, and then again after reading about his intergalactic breakfast of Black Holes, I realized that the pain and suffering was worth it. If you have even a mediocre sense of humor and a familiarity with what Bruce has been spouting over the last week, it might be worth a visit to the comments section of the last post ? somewhere in the neighborhood of comment #250 you will find this truly remarkable piece of prose that puts the greatest comedic works of Chuck Klosterman and Dave Barry to pitiful shame.

Let’s take a little timeout shall we?

Back to some roots. Like roots of your teeth. Let’s talk about teeth.

It always strikes me as amazing just how much deformity is masked by the fine works of orthodontics. Because we all look fairly normal, and somewhat similar to humans observed by Weston A. Price for example, this peculiar and alarming development gets more or less swept under the rug.

Last week my poor girlfriend had a fresh installment of some of the meanest looking heavy-duty braces I ever did lay eyes on. This is in preparation for a heinous jaw surgery coming up in a year or so.

Although my sweet little biscuit has been traumatized to death by this, it has been quite funny to run into people we know and have her say, ?Yeah, Matt said he wanted a younger-looking girlfriend, so??

What’s been remarkable is that nearly every single person we’ve run into has their very own jaw surgery story. Three out of three people we ran into at the grocery store yesterday had some kind of reconstructive jaw surgery to fix their overbite, underbite, crossbite, and various oddities of the mandible. I’m still one of the few that I’ve met in my life that grew up in my generation and never had braces ? although I probably could have used them on the bottom teeth. Okay, those badboys are all kinds of crooked. There, I said it.

It is really mind-boggling to think at just how freakish we would all indeed look if it wasn’t for orthodontics, and this is really a trait that humans and humans alone possess. If a horse had teeth like the average kid these days, they?d put it out of its misery and feed it to the dog ? you know, the dog with the perfectly straight teeth.

Throw out the thousands of tools and the magic of dentistry to keep the crooked teeth we do have from rotting out completely, and you’ve got yourself a society of people with grill’s straight out of Night of the Living Dead.

I bring this up because I was trying to post a heartfelt comment at Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s blog the other day,, and once again had it shot down. I spent a half hour on it, uploading pictures to my website and everything ? concluding it with ?what Dr. Fuhrman has been saying has been right all along! Still, nothing. Shunned. But I knew better. Those who eat either all plants or all animals evidently have an extreme intolerance for my radical and supposedly treacherous practice of omnivorism.

Although I’m far from being in agreement with Dr. Fuhrman about saturated fats being some deadly poison that magically jumps up into people’s arteries like a guided missile, I do agree that dental health and physical/mental/emotional health exist together.

Unlike many Weston A. Price worshipers; however, I acknowledge that having healthy teeth doesn’t really seem to have that much to do with the amount of fat soluble vitamins and calcium in your diet. Sure, you need some, there is a basic requirement of course, but as Melvin Page points out, who was a far better dentist and health practitioner than Price:

??calcium deficiency is one of the most common dietary deficiencies in the United States. Yet milk consumption in the United States is the highest in the world. The answer, of course, lies in the part played by vitamins and hormones. When these are not present nor functioning correctly, calcium will not be absorbed properly no matter how much is put into the digestive tract.

This gets back to the idea that ?you are what your body does with what you eat,? which is a much more truthful statement than ?you are what you eat. That was the beauty of Page, who understood that vitamins and minerals, although they are important essentials in our function, are not the be all end all. It was the hormones and glands Page found, that mattered most when it came to overall health and vitality.

Page didn’t dwell on how much liver or fish eggs or insects were in a person’s diet to achieve good dental health. He even excluded all milk from the diet ? the beloved sustenance of Weston A. Price devotees (his exclusion probably wasn’t necessary, but the point is ? he didn’t need this precious nutritive resource to produce great results). Instead, he monitored glucose metabolism and calcium to phosphorous ratios in the blood, which, when normal, resulted in both excellent dental and overall health. In other words, these were the diagnostic signatures of a healthy person.

How did he fix these problems? If there was too much phosphorous and too little calcium in the blood, did he give calcium supplements like a mainstream nutritionist might? Nope. He noted that calcium and phosphorous regulation had very close ties to the blood sugar level. What made the blood sugar fluctuate up and down like nothing else ? well beyond normal parameters, altering mineral metabolism? Refined sugar.

Surprise, refined sugar causes bad teeth! News flash! You heard it here first.

Okay, okay. Everybody has always said that because it was so obvious. The question is why. Modern science says ?because sugar feeds the bacteria that cause tooth decay.

Weston A. Price and many others fell victim, at least in part, to the belief that refined sugar and grain caused cavities because it lacked the vitamins and minerals that other foods contained.

Melvin Page discovered, and I agree wholeheartedly, that refined sugar had more of a drug like effect that no other food could achieve ? not even fruit juice, and the ingestion of it ruined dental health. Refined sugar is inherently harmful, and just as McCarrison found, even a diet with 90% of calories coming from white rice and full blown nutritional deficiencies amongst certain groups in India ? tooth decay could not be found. Only on a diet that contained white sugar and white flour (falsely accused I would bet), were cavities the norm and not the exception.

The last sentence ? no one would argue with. Only the ?why’s? are hotly debated.

Considering that my teeth were far healthier eating an almost non-dairy vegetarian diet (many years ago) consisting of primarily whole foods (beans, grains, fruits, vegetables, olive oil, etc.) than it was eating a diet of shellfish, meat, eggs, milk, fruits, vegetables, whole and refined grains and WHITE SUGAR in my youth, I certainly can’t give all the credit to fat soluble vitamins and calcium for dental health. Nor would Fuhrman.

What causes crooked teeth, which is irrefutably a facial deformity no different from having three arms, just more common? I’m guessing, knowing what we know about deformity, that it stems from a systemic imbalance having something to do with a combination of factors. It’s obvious that poor overall health and crooked teeth are close cousins. The greatest root hormonal cause appears to be a low metabolism (low active thyroid), which alters mitochondrial DNA and impairs the transmission of healthy characteristics from parent to child. Therefore anything that can help overcome this problem naturally improves health, improves dental health, improves fertility and successful reproduction by other criteria, digestion, glucose metabolism, yada yada yada.

And here are the photos I tried to put links to on Fuhrman’s blog. I was trying to point out that overall health and a diet devoid of processed junk foods and refined sugars creates straight teeth that are resistant to decay ? even if you never visited a dentist or brushed your teeth once in your life prior to your 18th birthday like my friend Layla that is shown in these photos. Link may take a second to open. Be patient?

And yes, Layla ate lots of fat soluble vitamins, minerals from raw milk, and ate hardly any refined sugar as a kid as you may recall from ?Layla’s Pearly Whites. Her mother and her mother’s mother hardly knew what white sugar was ? hence the flawless grin. Yes, a diet with lots of fat soluble vitamins, an abundance of minerals, and no refined sugar being fed to someone with perfect heredity probably is the perfect diet if there is such a thing.

My point is simply:

A nutritionally-mediocre diet with no sugar in it is far better than an extremely nutritious diet with sugar on top ? especially if refined sugar is ingested on a daily basis, which is where the metabolic damage is really done.