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Like the character Kip in the movie Napolean Dynamite, as he dutifilly grates some cheddar atop a large pile of nachos-to-be, ?I’m really busy right now. However, I couldn’t not include the nutrition geek blogosphere in my current personal experiment ? especially considering the recent battle royale between Charles and Bruce?

First off, as just a tiny bit of background (and I’ll add plenty more as we go along day by day), nutritionists have long been debating the viability of a purely carnivorous diet ? for humans. On the one hand you had the Eskimos, who were all like, I think it might be possible to eat only animals you guys. They came to this conclusion as a result of eating like this for centuries while managing to get the attention of every health-curious explorer to have trudged into areas in which native foods were exclusively eaten. Their attention was captured because the Eskimos, while eating their native food groups of meat, fish, seal, and whale, had amongst the most robust health ever documented.

And it wasn’t just Eskimos that subsisted off of meat alone. Many early 20th century explorers and trappers raved about the vitality provided by an all-Pemmican diet (pemmican is dried meat encased in rendered fat). This was made famous by the legendary travels and year-long scientifically-monitored carnivorous diet of renowned anthropological explorer, Vihljamur Stefansson.

Anyway, I’ve been curious about the therapeutic applications of such a diet for a long time and wanted to experience it first hand to develop a more sophisticated opinion of it. Charles, a purely carnivorous, extremely well-researched, and fierce-looking marathon runner definitely helped inspire this escapade, although I’ve been toying with the idea for months.

As tempted as I was to call it the Napolean Dynamite diet, as the characters in the movie were seen eating little else than steak on a plate (except in cafeteria scenes featuring copious tater tots), the official name will be ?The 30-Day FUMP diet.

Before hinting at the meaning of the acronym, FUMP, let me first qualify what I’m about to say?

I have tremendous admiration for what some people have done. In fact, one man in particular has done more to progress the real food movement in the last couple of years than any other scholar, even getting the attention of our next president with his recent New York Times article. For that I commend him.

But it’s also very important to cajole those that you admire the most in and around your field. So here comes a fair criticism.

The MP in FUMP represents Michael Pollan, who, in his most recent bestselling book has made the broad-sweeping statement on the cover, simply put, that virtually all of mainstream medicine and nutrition would nod a dense head to, that we should all?

?Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

Been there, done that, failed miserably ? and I’m not alone. Doing so made me ravenously hungry, nuked my digestion, made me an emotional basketcase, and helped me achieve the chiseled look of a marshmallow. It did help me sneeze and wheeze a lot to accompany my intense gas and physical pain. I’ll give it that.

Anyway, I’ll let you use your imagination as to what the letters that precede MP represent. Suffice it to say that the mantra here, if there is one, is?

?Eat food. As much as you want. Mostly animals.

And now, the contents of the first supper of the 30-day FUMP diet?

2 ounces calamari steak
1 slice totally uncured fatty bacon (from Three Meadow’s Tamworth hogs)
8 ounces organic heavy cream ? chugged straight
Tiny pinch of celtic sea salt

(Once the cream is gone it will be flesh foods and oils only, zero carbohydrates)

Be sure to follow along!

?And no I’m not saying this is the only healthy way to eat, or that I’m doing this for life, or anything like that. I’m doing this for my own personal educational purposes and am not a psycho. I do stuff like that, and usually keep it to myself to keep from freaking others out and thus appearing untrustworthy. Yes there are risks to following an all-meat diet ? ones I’m willing to accept. Don’t try this at home. Keep in mind I’ve had a two-year diet consisting of primarily fat with an average of just 100 grams of carbohydrates per day leading up to this. My body utilizes fats extremely well at this point, and the transition is much safer and easier for me to make than it would be for your average person.