By Matt Stone
I have watched ridiculous amounts of youtube videos of health gurus – mostly for shock and entertainment. I couldn’t bear the thought that all those hours of killing time were truly of no value. So here is my attempt to salvage those lost hours by bringing to the world the ultimate video compilation of the most hard-to-watch health guru demonstrations ever recorded on video. If you have some others that deserve to be in the collection, please leave those links in the comments section. Try to go with just one, as leaving more than one link in a comment will get it held up in moderation. And by the way, who is your favorite?? Let’s just say I saved my favorite for last.
haha OMG the last one seems like a parody XD
John Stossel did the most epic interview with Kulvinskas for some program called Orthorexia in America or something like that, but it was removed from youtube. Man was it incredible. Stossel was like “We’re the same age but you look 20 years older!”
Matt! Here’s the John Stossel interview on Orthexia.
Jason, that is excellent. Matt should put this video on permanent display on his home page.
Took some time to watch them all and wanted to be first. Damn, some of these guys are dillusional!
As for the guy eating rotten meat, I actually found it pretty interesing seeing that this guy can eat like this without getting sick and actually seems to do ok.
But If I had to pick a favorite it would be Paul Check, the idiocy of that song just made my day :D.
Chek’s was my most recent discovery and a large percentage of the inspiration for this post. The irony is that he is actually a very knowledgeable person. I have spent some time on Planet Vonder, but never ate any “high” meat. It just made me stinky and sucked. My friends thought it was amusing. Glad I didn’t end up like this guy (warning, funniest diet-related video segment over recorded)… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcT8KN3F_28
Orthorexics out there: you too can start sobbing when you eat cooked food. Just keep at your diet for years until desired effect emerges! Haha
I…..sob, sob…can’t believe…sob, sob…I just put that..sob, sob…buttery pancake… sob, sob…into my mouth…
But seriously, that was pretty amazing. Poor kids – they’re going to have to incarnate a few extra times on earth for that karmic transgression.
that whole episode is really funny. the mom is just as hilarious as the dad. its actually kinda hard for me to watch because i was all raw meat for a solid half year and although i didnt get that bad, there was some definite weirdness. 73/27 ground beef btw. going all meat was a very interesting experience. i visit zeroinginonhealth every now and then. i feel bad for charles washington haha. seriously, the stress eating no carbs puts on your mentality is much different than vegan. it really locks you in to what you believe at the time, at least it did for me.
I read Chek’s book Eat, Move and Be Healthy and thought it was a good book. He’s good when he sticks to practical stuff. But then I sat through a most painful talk of his at a WAPF conference that was completely uselss new agey gibberish. When he starts talking about that stuff, he is WAY out there.
If you eat game, especially pheasants, it’s normal to let them hang for a bit to make them tender and more palatable.
I agree, of all the lunatic ideas in these videos, this rotting flesh one may actually have some scientific merit.
Decaying flesh is the result of microorganisms. Could these same microorganisms, if introduced into the body, be able to kill ‘alive but weak’ cells? Probably. What are these ‘alive but weak’ cells called? Sometimes they’re called cancer cells. That is after all what gave the guy the motivation to try it the first time.
Also, could the new microbes introduced by eating rotten flesh compete with microbes (undesired ones) already in the body? I think so. Also, once their food supply is gone (very weak living cells), presumably they would die off unless new ones kept being introduced. This seems to be a reasonable _temporary_ therapy to try if extremely sick. Doing it permanently seems crazy.
Either way, I’d try this with rotting fruits and veggies first though.
There’s no denying that traditional peoples of the far north eat fermented meats. I saw an episode of Bizarre Foods where they catch puffins, put them in a seal hide, plop it down outside and cover it with rocks for several months, then pull them out and eat them. It’s a delicacy.
Have your tried to read the YouTube automatic captions along? Adds a completely new level of hilariousness
“dr dari todd sample about ito rehoming
dropped retired builder temple body for a time
We’ve been replete with this big customer please”
The raw and spoiled meat thing is the best thing you can do for your gut health!
Matt, you’ve really outdone yourself today. I thought nuts were mostly paleo fare, but this is quite a collection :-) Wouldn’t date any of them, though. And I’ll stick to my own diet of good food, good wine and good cheer.
Keep it up !
I will keep it up Claire. Keeping it up is, after all, my primary reason for not following any of the above-people’s health advice.
Admit it thought, Matt. How many of them have you followed at least some of their advice in the past? :D
I hadn’t meant that litterally, but it’s a very good answer!
Oh you know I never pass up a chance to make reference to Mr. Wiggles.
you forgot Mr Doug ‘Reptilian’ Graham
I thought it was Doug “Handbag” Graham. Well, they do use reptile skin for handbags sometimes so I guess it’s interchangeable. Doug at least makes a few references to real, human physiology from time to time. But he belongs on a guru list somewhere.
He actually looks a lot better here than on some other videos I’ve seen, but he’s riffing on some pretty questionable stuff here… I dunno about the “insulin being covered with fat thing…”
“handbag” – I love that!
What the hell is wrong with that guy’s throat? It should have its own zip code. It’s alive and might attack! Godzilla.
It’s so sad that this guy is so idealistic, here is a vid about 1 year prior to the one above:
It’s surprising to me how fast someone can detoriate – he looks well on his way to getting a stroke or something.
This compilation makes me wish I recorded all the times my doctors made up asinine explanations about how the human body functions or insane recommendations. A few gems of wisdom include “cholesterol can never be too low”, “some people just can’t eat solid foods every day of the week” and “no one should eat red meat.”
Funny post, made my day :D
Oh Paul- I like you. I just felt so embarrassed listening to the Dr Diet song. Eesh.
Dude! Don’t forget about Dr. David Jubb! He wouldn’t like your pancakes…
Andrea Moritz on Humans Not Being Made to Eat Meat
He recently died from something. Some people believe he was assassinated for spreading true health knowledge.
Ooh….i was gonna mention him. The man had such a monotonous. voice, i could never finish his vids bc by then id already be asleep due to monotony. very good remedy for people who suffer from insomnia!
Durian rider . period. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MEzE7Fhp3s
Aajonus Vonderplanitz..OMG…WOW. I had no idea….I think Aajonus and Gabriel Cousens should have a picnic together….
Aajonus is probably the only one who never pushed products and jive ass supplements to his patients. Aajonus was the man. Living proof right here, brother.
Yeah, he just pushed jive ass ideas to his patients.
No Durianrider or Freelee “pee in a bucket at night” videos?
And the sad thing is, Freelee will probably damn near fill that bucket up full every night because in the video down bellow she said that she will sometimes drink 2 liters of water right before going to bed!!! She also she said that she usually has to go pee 3 times during the night….. no wonder she was complaining of being cold.
Thanks for these Matt. After now watching all of these videos, I think I have reached orthorexic enlightenment.
All of these health gurus are preaching about food! How passe. How banal. I’m gonna do a video about how you can get obese and sick by living alone and having no one love or touch you ever.
Brilliant putting the insanity all together! In the past I would listen to guys like them and think maybe they’re right! I even have a David Wolfe book about Superfoods still on the bookshelf. The video of the dad and kids eating cooked foods was sad. Poor kids have been taught an eating disorder. I have seen other Paul Chek videos and he is not that wacky. I’m not sure what inspired him to film that Dr. Diet song and then actually put it on youtube. I also wonder why he has not taken it down! Great post Matt!
You know what the saddest thing is?
That all of them are actually trying to help people get healthier. I’ve always had this dream of all health-oriented people reading Matt Stone so they stopped spreading shitty and even harmful ideas like in these videos and with all their “vitality” and willingness to help others and understand the human body they actually did something useful.
BTW the comments really made me laugh.
Clearly, I need to be making videos…
Oh my God, this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make! Damn! OK. I vote for my savior – my guru, Swami Beyondananda. Matt, have you ever studied about life with him? He taught me all about Gastral Projection. It’s a technique you use when you are traumatized by real food. It releases the trauma from your soul and your body. He also taught me that “To air is human, but to really cut one loose is divine.” Yep; he gets me vote!
Now THERE’s a Guest Poster I’d like to see on here: Swami Beyondananda. That dude is funny.
Jesus H Christ, there are no shortages of crackpots on the internet.
How can anyone listen to these gurus and not realize they are psychiatric issues going on?
I guess the followers are f*ed up, unbalanced people also.
Yikes! Here’s another one I just found…I didn’t go looking for her, she showed up in my FB feed.
^^Be careful with this video, though. It might trigger some ED stuff…the woman is encouraging people to eat their first juice of the day at 3:30 or 4 in the afternoon.
Watched a bit of the video, had to stop and go to the fridge. I suddenly had a severe craving for milk.
Ed, what a coincidence! I had the same craving. I don’t believe this woman is practicing what she preaches. Too hawt!
What about the daylight diet. A woman saw a documentary about it and starved to death after believing she could survive on sunlight alone.
Oh, and has everyone forgotten one of my favorite fear-mongering videos, ‘Sugar: The Bitter Truth”. I think that belongs in this list.
Yeah and this one’s actually dangerous, becasue it’s coming from a professor and not overtly psychotic – ala drinking 2L of water before bed so you have to pee in a bucket lest you don’t make it to the bathroom. “Sugar the bitter truth” really can catapult otherwise sensible persons down the long paleo ortho ED lane.
In moments of deep physical and emotional pain I sometimes find myself reaching for food guru porn. In the past it would give me a nice false sense certainty and control.
At this point, I’m more interested to see what kind of pasts these folks had. What led up to this odd fanatical behavior that I know so well, but that some people can not relate to one bit? I enjoyed watching this Dan McDonald video for that reason:
Haha, this is awesome. There are so many important differences between the different levels of crazy. Some are just very ignorant, some make things up without knowing why it’s wrong and actually believe it, and some make things up partially or fully aware of what they’re doing. I think that Monarch and Vonderplanitz do that, Vonderplanitz’s story always changes. I think Viktoras Kulvinskas is probably closest to what psychologists would call “insane”, though Cousens is up there.
I once got banned from Mercola’s youtube channel for badmouthing David Wolfe over his recommendations to supplement with large amounts of MSM powder. Nothing against MSM but he thought he had it all figured out with his “alkaline” raw food diet and gave himself sulfur deficiency, to be remedied with supplements. Yeah ok Dave.
Only downside to this is that whenever I watch diet guru videos on youtube, youtube recommends them to me for a week afterwards. It’s like the woo-woo is stalking me :(
You have to go into your history and delete those videos in order to stop that recommended video loop…
i fell for his msm talk as well, but stopped it after i was suddenly gaining kilos on 900kcal a day raw food! (no ED, just not much appetite on the raw stuff – didn’t last long).
You have a photo of Dr. Oz at the top of the post- How much money has he made with his diet recommendations? Part of the problem is that HE is mainstream, and people follow his word like Dr.God. That makes him even more powerful that these other nuts in the videos!
No Jimmy Moore?
Butter stick diet FTW…
I actually want to be friends with Dan.
Dan “I don’t even want to be emotionally charged about anything” McDonald. Dan “The Knife” McDonald.
Serious question: are raw vegans always so…. dozy…. because of their diet or do you have to be that type of person to want to be a raw vegan in the first place?
Yes, raw veganism, or whatever the fuck people call it these days, makes a person dozy and stupid. Oh, and don’t forget sick. I was dozy and stupid for 1 year. Those damned vegetables totally messed me up–brain damage, hypothyroidism, huge weight gain, candida, constipation, cranky bitch syndrome, brain damage, cranky bitch syndrome, you name it… Did I mention brain damage, yet? I never want to see another vegetable for as long as I fucking live! Anyway, guess what cured me. Sugar. Sweet beautiful sugar. All kinds of sugar. Sugar sugar sugar
Yes, sugar! I recently introduced a UK friend to pixie sticks, which he aptly called “Crack for Kidz.”
Growing up in LA, I knew quite a few raw vegans (or like…”people who GLOW” or some shit), and I always found it funny that they spoke and acted the same way people as people with a long history of heavy weed use. I knew vegetables were trouble…
Yes, Well my husband made me a salad last night for supper. I freaked out and threatened to divorce him. We made up and he cooked me some hamburgers and homemade French fries. I really don’t know why he screwed up. Temporary lapse in judgement, I guess. Doesn’t he know by now that he doesn’t get sex when I eat that raw shit? I think he was fed too many raw veggies as a child. Sometimes I wonder about him. I still love him though.
Old McDonald did a fast, eieio. 10 years on a raw vegan diet and after 5 days on a water fast toxins are being released from the fat? Why is it that raw vegans need to cleanse, suffer from candida, and need things to help them sleep? They are the pinnacle of health. How can that be? Since I’ve stopped trying to be healthy, I am sleeping better, though not perfect yet, getting “up” more often, and feel warmer. The only down side is the fat part but I’m trying to learn to be a better person and not concern myself with the fat.
And that’s another thing. If some ridiculously high percentage of the US population is supposed to be overweight, why doesn’t anyone know how to make fat clothes that fit properly?
We should all be able to wear cloaks ‘n’ robes. Cloaks ‘n’ robes.
Ha Ha! That’s so funny, I love it, cloaks and robes! Why not??
I wish they made good clothes too. I just see my tailor a lot.
I am going to give some that are not well known in America. Let’s start out with the Grand Lama of French Macrobiotics Rene Levy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETy5FBxHTww
Darn! You beat me to Fully Raw Kristina!! I was going to introduce her to the discussion :)
Matt Monarch’s videos are infuriating to watch.
Found this guy’s videos a while back, he seems to be doing everything wrong.
I used to totally love Paul Chek, he is truly pretty knowledgable, but a)he got REALLY weird, and not be rude, but b)why does he look like he’s on meth? I hope he’s doing alright/is healthy…
I think someone from this site needs to crush this question……http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_are_overweight_people_always_hot_and_skinny_people_always_cold#
Has anyone heard about dietguru Matt Stone, he has some really crazy ideas. Claims you can get healthier by eating ice cream and pizza, that’s some far out stuff.
This video of David Wolfe has a voice over. I dunno if you’ve seen it, but it’s hilarious! I love the comments.
I used to watch The Raw Food World religiously. I can’t believe I wasted all of that time.
euuughh! Victoras kulvinskavaskasiss has always given me the creeps, and Matt M’s hysterical, his videos are quite entertaining as he is the most ridiculously neurotic and vain orthorexic “guru” out there, and i imagine he would sell his mother if it could get him a free colonic. i still think Wolfie’s quite cute though, even with the potato sack ponchos. the ph man makes me angry! (refuse to type his name) …ahh i have books by most of those scammers and others not on here, i just wish i could go back and give my 25 year old self a slap around the face for falling for all the hippie crap. i’ve never been happier with my diet than i am now, eating whatever i want whenever i want it, thanks Matt, Gwyneth, Billy etc. (but mainly Matt) although i need to join your hot chicks club now, it’s getting unbearable!
I laughed the entire 15 minutes of David Wolfe
Here is some irony for you. I nanny share with another mom who is vegan and raising her two (waiflike, sickly-looking) girls vegan also. Today i told her that i used Borax to get rid of the ants in my kitchen and she said SHE WOULD HAVE TO TRY IT. hahahaha. I said don’t buy some I’ll just give you some….wanted to offer some ground beef and butter while I was at it…
you forgot the PerkiSystem…
Am I the only one that finds these videos creepy AND scary? I mean, I am so freaked out I want a hotdog, fries and a coke just to make sure I’m as far away as possible from turning into this. This is the way to scare someone off a diet, I’m telling you.
Totally! I force-fed myself butter shortbread cookies and Pepsi after watching these sick videos. I have been having nightmares about these weirdos, especially that clay mask freak. But, that David Wolfe is one cute hippie.
The Hallelujah Diet
Aren’t those the people who recommend raw carrot juice in place of breast milk?
I got kicked out of their forums when I was giving non-approved advice (very politely I must say) to the parents whose small children’s teeth were being destroyed by the starvation. =/
Missed this one:
The diet recommended is vegan, low fat, low sugar, low salt. A choice quote “I personally strive to feel light I want to spring off the ground like an antelope! Eating light makes me feel and become light”
Bonus point to her ‘showy’ fitness system ;)
I actually watched Dan’s entire video. He’s out there, but I have a soft spot in my heart for him despite that, lol :-)
I really dont understand how Robert Cassar does what he does.. Maybe his diet/herbs/lifestyle are amazing and like no other… power to him for owning a company that sells all the herbs/supps to allow him to live that way… but to try and live that way without owning your own company or living where he does it would be extremely hard work.. I wonder how often he pees?
There are some extremely interesting people out there!
He really does have some great videos though. Yeah I agree sometimes he sounds pretty wacky but if you know anything about health you have to admit he is on the level with most of which he says/does. Only reason they have the earthshift products is to make it easy for us to have a one stop place to go to get the best products possible. I dont see anything wrong with that.
Anorexia and body dysmorphic disorder age 10. Age 11 vegaterian. Fat free by high school. Tried to recover in college, but couldn’t. Orthorexia beginnings age 23: first a low fat IBS diet, Interstitial Cystitis diet (which I no longer have) then organic, then vegan, then raw, then moved towards primal/paleo, GAPS for my food allergies, etc. I’m 34 now. I have a milkshake daily, pizza 2 times a week, banana bread, sushi, full fat cheese and milk…and I’m happier than I’ve Ever been! I do still fear food poisoning, but I eat out now occasionally and I have Survived the experience! :-) I actually sweat occasionally (I live in AZ, so it’s about time!) and my clothes aren’t too big anymore. I sleep when I’m tired, eat when I’m hungry, and move only when I want to. I would have thought I was fat not that long ago, but I actually love my body now. I went from size zero pants being too big to a 37″ hip, which is perfect for me. I still have some of the emotions come up, but the more I eat the more I’m able to combat the old thoughts and beliefs because my brain has enough fuel to let the old thoughts go! The cure for mental illness, fibromyalgia, interstitial cystits, PTSD, body dysmorphic disorder? “Junk” food, as many calories you can consume, laughter, and lots of sleep. Best medicine I’ve ever taken! Thanks Matt <3
Matt, what is your opinion of Robert Cassar?
Aajonus Vonderplants was correct, animals are not meant to cook food, I follow his ways with amazing results, been eating raw meat more than half a year, follow me on Instagram @Thefirstoneofmykind