Once you’ve gotten overweight and are unhappy with your body, things change, not only on the outside but the inside as well.
A negative body image, being angry, berating yourself, feeling ashamed and blaming yourself and your body has repercussions. It’s stressful. The way you feel is exhibited by your body. Your posture changes reflecting your lack of self esteem. Your face may also take on a sad, angry, or anxious look depending upon your feelings. Eventually you may get other dis-eases, symptoms and physical problems.
Now you’ve found 180DegreeHealth,?you have finally realized that all that deprivation, saying ?no,? over-exercising, and self-blame were not just ineffective, but actually sabotaged your ability to lose weight ? and keep it off.
As one of the older readers in the demographics of the 180 Degree group (I’m 60… ish) I’ve connected with many other women (and some men) who have punished themselves for years. We’ve tried every diet that has come along promising a miracle cure; in the way of a special food, supplement, exercise, diet plan, drink, so many other things I can’t even remember. Essentially, many of us have spent decades on a chronic diet. And each time the diet failed, we blamed our own lack of discipline, moral fiber, or some other thing that made it our fault instead of the fault of the concept of dieting.
I had just finished 4 months of the Paleo Plan when I heard Matt interviewed during the ?Paleo Summit. I paid a lot of attention because I couldn’t lose any weight, and had never been able to maintain the small weight loss I had made. I felt pretty miserable at yet another failure. I had to listen to Matt’s interview a few times before I felt convinced I was hearing something real, and important to my situation. I was not at fault; dieting was the cause.
But for many of us baby boomers, who grew up with Jane Fonda, Atkins, and all those other failed strategies, reversing our starvation and re-feeding ourselves is scary. We’ve heard how your metabolism slows down as you age. We’ve fallen for the ?heart healthy? low fat foods, and fearing sugar because it’s going to cause diabetes or age us (Now we know that THEY were wrong!). We’ve been working hard to make ourselves healthy, and eating not just for weight loss, but for health. Because honestly, when you’re older, you KNOW that NOW counts. It’s not that unusual to hear of our contemporaries dying of cancer, heart disease, complications of diabetes and other illnesses in this age range and older. We have to take care of this problem right away, and don’t have the benefit of lots of decades ahead to assure our health in our ?old age.
So?departing from the??eat less, exercise more? paradigm takes a leap of faith. It takes a new trust that was missing from our psyche: trusting your body (Interestingly, both Hannah and I sent a post in with?an almost identical’title?on the same?day?- and Matt originally attempted to call his business “The Body Trust” back in 2005… there must be an important theme here!). All of our lives, we tried to control ourselves, our appetites, our thirst. Eating less, drinking more (water), avoiding foods we enjoyed… denying ourselves was a way of life. I think of all of the foods I avoided, the Birthday cake celebrations that I said ?no? to, and what did it get me? Just what I was trying to avoid -?fat.
You may or may not believe in the Law Of Attraction, but this could not be a more obvious case in point. You focus on what you can’t eat, because you don’t want to get fat, and what happens? You put on the weight you struggled to avoid. Furthermore, brain science corroborates this experience. Your habitual thoughts create powerful neural networks that are very hard to break through. But it CAN be done ? no matter your age.
To achieve your weight loss goal, you must learn, despite the fear of putting on MORE weight by re-feeding yourself, and eating more often, to trust the process. The process is working WITH your body; mindfully nurturing yourself with food. Vanquishing the fear of getting even heavier is not an easy issue when you are already substantially overweight.
Dealing with the continued criticism of family members and friends (who don’t and never had weight issues) telling you that you are eating too much, or you should try this new diet they just heard about. Then there’s the problem of managing your own fear of what happens if THIS TOO, doesn’t work.
During the process, you may hear a voice inside your head telling you that you’re crazy. “What are you thinking? You?must go back on a diet.” Another voice telling you to stay the course.
This is where Trust comes in. It’s important to understand that your body KNOWS and responds to your conflicted feelings. This is stressful. And while you are experiencing stress, re-feeding, although feeding your body, is still emotionally stressful. You MUST address your conflicted feelings so that you can continue the process to the end. Many people stop right before they are turning the corner- when they’re at ?179 Degrees? and just about to make their breakthrough!
Many of my clients are ready to give up when the weight starts coming on. When you already feel squished into your jeans, you don’t want to go to the store and buy a larger size! It can be terrifying. That fear sabotages the process. It’s time to use EFT tapping, or other Energy Psychology techniques including visualization, Heart Rate variability exercises, and more’to calm yourself. You must learn to accept yourself where you are.
And yet, the hardest thing is to accept that there is a possibility that this is not going to work. I know you don’t even want to imagine that. You may put on the weight, and it won’t go away – that your genes, your childhood experiences, your history of abuse, neglect, humiliation, the present stress you are suffering are so deeply ingrained in your subconscious mind that only a professional therapist may be able to help you release those blocked feelings.
Let It Be.
But an amazing thing comes with acceptance. Whereas people say they have to ?fight? disease, it’s often the ?acceptance? of the disease, the consequences, and giving up the fight that allows the mind and body to heal. Spontaneous remissions from cancer are often reported when the mind and emotions have reached acceptance. Research has found that the most effective prayer is: ?Thy Will Be Done? ? NOT asking for a specific outcome!
When I use EFT tapping with my clients, it’s acceptance, and forgiving yourself, that helps so many people. After a lifetime of these heavy feelings, one woman described the change as a ?lightening? of her load. It’s my belief, that the words that you use create your reality. Trust the process, trust yourself, and accept your body with gratitude and love. It makes the journey a lot easier, no matter the destination.
Lianda Ludwig will be hosting a live Webinar July 25 3pm Pacific time/6pm Eastern time. You can register for that?HERE. She also offers free one-on-one initial consultations via phone or Skype through the 180DegreeHealth Get Help Program HERE.
Thank you :)
first. thats all.
I think a lot of folks need to read this right now!
Great article and I’ve been there! Much happier that I no longer follow some sort of diet plan!!
Amen to everything you are saying about acceptance. It goes far beyond weight.
I came across EFT this past week. I wish I had heard of it many years ago.
It is simple and for me, extremely effective. :)
Matt, things are heating up here at 180! My favorite site. :)
This is just what I needed to hear just now…I am stuck at “terrified”, well, torn between knowing I’m finally doing something good for my body (hello again eyebrows, it’s been a long time since you looked so bushy!) and fighting the years of bullshit around not wanting to be fat. I have gained about a stone since deciding to mindfully start eating properly (before I read Diet Recovery 2, even) and I have to try and gently stop the disgust I feel when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I *know* that if I can accept myself now, heavier than I have been in years, but healthier, then there will be no more battling with myself. It’s great to be reminded that what I’m experiencing is normal!
Thank you all for taking the time to read the post, and your comments. It’s truly from my heart to yours…
I needed to read this today, for a couple of reasons. One, I had to sing in a funeral this morning. I get big-time stage fright when I sing solos, and I tried EFT tapping, per my mother’s suggestion. I don’t know whether or not I did it right, but I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I usually get! I’d like to learn more about EFT and use it in other situations. Secondly, I just bought 4 pairs of shorts 2 sizes larger than I wore last summer. I’m having a tough time letting go and accepting my body JUST THE WAY IT IS right now. I’ve had so many health improvements already on this journey, but my fat gain is so much at the forefront of my mind that I’m having a hard time enjoying the improvements! So, this article really spoke to me. Thank you!
Lovely post, Lianda. Thank you. Your compassion is palpable and your advice sensible and very helpful. I would encourage readers to explore EFT. It’s easy to research and easy to do. Startling in it’s simplicity and, in my experience, quite noticeably effective.
I cannot get through this post without crying. This hit me so hard as I am struggling big time. As someone that never had weight issues until 3 years ago I am struggling with this body that doesn’t feel normal and I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I first started gaining weight after I quit smoking even though I cut down on how much I was eating and worked out more. When I continued to gain regardless of what I did and was feeling so extremely tired I went to the doctor thinking it was menopause. The doctor seen me for 5 minutes. In that 5 minutes I was told I needed to eat less, exercise more and that “of course you are tired you are raising your grandchildren and have had a lot of stress due to that”. So I went home and started working out almost 3 hours a day instead of the hour and half I was already doing and ate even less than I already was. In one month I gained 30 more pounds and I was more exhausted and was starting to feel really sick. I continued on until I completely crashed. I went to see a new doctor and she had my thyroid tested. I was severely hypothyroid. A month later more testing revealed hashimoto’s. Still, I continued to feel worse and worse in spite of eating a vey clean whole foods diet, drinking a lot of water and taking a lot of supplements and meds. Finally started seeing a doctor that believes in both traditional and alternative medicine. Finally saliva and blood test revealed that I am not producing any sex hormones. NONE. And my cortisol levels for day and night are so low they barely registered.
Now 55 lb’s heavier I am now taking NP thyroid, 2 herbal meds for my adrenals along with low dose hydrocortisone and bioidentical hormones. The doctor is still adjusting all these meds. I am eating super clean. Doctor says no exercise but I couldn’t if I tried because I am still so tired. My body temps are running around 96. My hands and feet are COLD and the rest of me is so hot I can hardly stand it. My doctor says I am a sick woman and that my body needs to heal before it will lose weight and that my metabolism is screwed up from the various hormone issues. Still, I keep hoping. And I diet even though I am not suppose to and yet I gain weight when I diet. I am sick of depriving myself while watching my family eat the treats I’ve prepared for us. I make everything from scratch(way I was brought up) and for the most part healthy. I’ve become afraid of food and afraid to eat and afraid to gain more. I am told that the stress is hurting me but I am not really sure how to stop it.
I am not myself. I don’t feel like me and I don’t look like me. I have air hunger, intolerance to the heat and no matter what I do I cannot lose this weight. I am sad, angry and frustrated. I am puffy and swollen. My husband thinks I am not eating enough and doesn’t understand why I am not losing with how little eat. Honestly, I feel like I am going crazy. I’ve read diet recovery a couple years ago and I was too scared to try it. I had it on a computer that crashed or I would read it and give it a try. I have been reading on this site and about ETF. I don’t know what EFT tapping is but I would be willing to try anything at this point. When I think about eating I feel like throwing up. I cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror. I have no sex drive and even if I did I wouldn’t want my husband to touch me.
Reading this today has hit me really hard because I think I was meant to read it. When I think of accepting myself like this I cry. I am so desperate. Reading this post it felt like you understood what I am going through. I am not sure how to start ETF. I am sorry this is so long but for the first time in a long time it felt like someone could see into this hole that I am in. Thank you!
My heart goes out to you. Sign up for my Strategy Session, and we’ll talk….http://180degreehealth.com/2013/02/get-help (scroll down to my photo)
Mix up some Bicarbonate of Soda (1/2 tsp. and drink it down with a Magnesium capsule or two. Magnesium Asporotate (combo of magnesium types) helped with my initial recovery of low magnesium several years ago. Both the magnesium and salt of the bicarbonate will help with your air hunger and anorexia (not feeling hungry). Selenium and pregnenolone, B-Complex might be helpful as well. I always take the B-Complex with the magnesium. However, I no longer ‘feel’ a need for magnesium regularly, but if I catch myself thinking of taking some, I will follow through. Especially if I will experience stress of blood donation (also helps prior to have relaxed veins)…and dental cleaning or work. Or nonsensical stress from people drama.
First that I noticed within a couple hours of taking the magnesium back in January of 2003 was racing heart was beating at a normal rhythm, legs felt strong, no longer weak so that I had to hold the railing to descend stairs…but true strength to actually not hold the rail took a few weeks. Within a week, my frozen shoulder was no longer frozen. No more feeling of doom. No more air hunger. I could breathe with my mouth closed.
And F… the dieting. Eat the treats. Your life depends on it.
I was just lamenting when buying ‘new to me’ clothes at Goodwill today to glide over this 218 pound 5’2″ 57 year old body. Was hoping the XL would fit, but no dice. It is what it is. Dieting only got me here and eating will only get me up and over the hump. Think of the gain as the hill we must climb to get to the other side. We have to go up, to get down. There is no amount of eating clean to get there, we have to eat all that we see. If that is what is available, and it looks good. Eat it. Gwen Shamblin in her book and website reminds us that all foods are composed of the same things…and the crazy making we create for ourselves when the same components look like a baked potato with butter, chives and bacon bits can also be very nearly the same macronutrients in fudge frosted cake. Really. Eat it and if you must have a positive mantra, let it be, “Everything I eat makes me well, healthy and happy. And soon my body will give me a normal sized body for me at my current age. AND I will be content with that.”
In that meantime, find a hobby that is creative and you can take with you. Not as a means to avoid food when you are hungry, but to live life more fully in spite of a fluffier body than was promised with dieting. I found crochet…and you can learn from You Tube very easily. Have fun. Life’s too short to waste it on worrying about our waist size.
My five year old grandson was surprised to hear me say I was fat today. What a waste that was for him to hear. He didn’t seem to think so…and loves me dearly.
Lianda, I’m so glad you wrote a post about this!! When I’m talking with my patients I always teach them about how thoughts, traumas, and toxins all of an effect on their health. You can’t skip out on making progress emotionally if you expect to see certain physical changes, especially when it comes to healing! I recently posted about it on my blog too! Hope to hear more from you!
Yes, the Mind-Emotions and Body are all inextricably interwoven! It’s wonderful when a doctor share that with their patients – and unfortunately, not too common!
Just wondering if someone can recommend a good place to start exploring EFT???
Also, I am worried. I have gained a lot of weight re-feeding but worse than that even is that my health seems worse. My energy is worse and I am getting more viruses. Last week I had a sore throat and this week a cold. I think since rarrfing for the last 11 months I have had a lot more sicknesses than I did pre-rarrfing (low-carb I was). I have also been having what I think are blood-sugar drops. I am going to see my doctor tomorrow to get the results from my 5 hour blood glucose challenge test. He said he needs to talk to me about it so I think there is certainly something going on.
So, while I am really enjoying the freedom of just eating the food I am starting to feel concerned that my health is being effected. My weight gain is one thing but health is another. Can anyone relate to this??
I really love this article Lianda and it is the type of nurturing advice I really need about my body image but I’m just wondering whether the recommended sugar and processed carbs are good for everyone?????????????????????????
I’m presenting a webinar, and will teach you how to do EFT tapping during the webinar. Make sure to sign up! http://mentabolismmakeover.com/obsessive-body-image/
Go to You Tube & look up Faster EFT videos by Robert Smith. He’s absolutely fantastic & has helped so many people. His program is way better & faster than traditional EFT. He has over 700 free videos that you can watch & just follow along & do the tapping & help yourself. You can also go to his website fastereft.com, & he also does all kinds of seminars, some of them free. I just watched video #731 with a woman who had over 30 ailments & diseases & literally had no life. She was taking 180 pills a day. She looks fantastic after doing his tapping, & I believe she said she doesn’t take any pills now.
I forgot to put that my post was to Elocin. The Faster EFT will help if you do it. I’ve used it & it’s great.
We’re very similar. I gained 55 lbs. re-feeding (being size 5 that’s a big deal – size 4 to size 12 and pushing) and have had issues with blood sugar drops that I now recognize as that, unlike when I was low carbing. When I was ‘thin’ (never felt that way- flat boobs and butt, floppy belly) I made up excuses for what were obvious symptoms of under-nourishment. But I had the unshakable reference of thin being healthy. I think now, with all who have gained a lot of unaccustomed weight, the perspective of symptoms is that something is wrong. I get more cold symptoms now, but isn’t that a more awake immune system rather than a dormant one as we had before? I felt that I’m finally moving out all that trapped mucus. I can eat a big meal now and not have an orchestra going on in my stomach afterwards, which made things like dinner before a class, movie or show very anxiety-inducing instead of enjoyable. During my period, a blood sugar drop made my blood gush out ( I became anemic after too much of that – and two miscarriages in 07 and 10 – another malnourishment sign I ignored), but now experience simple easy periods w/o the blood loss of before. Exercise is easier now except for the direct physical constraints. I’m still bendy at yoga-though twists are challenging because of my belly, swimming is enjoyable not taxing, and I tolerate heat better.
Docs can only see what’s right in front of them, that’s what they are trained for, be mindful of what their ‘results’ show. I feel more like me, but when I catch myself on video or pix, I do have to fight that feeling that ‘boy I’m fat.’ It’s more my mismatching what one feels like at different sizes that is the issue. I remember also thinking snobbishly, “oh look, mosquitoes don’t bite me, that’s b/c I don’t eat sugar”. Now I see that even bugs knew there wasn’t anything appealing with my blood (nutrient wise). Like this article implies, it’s where you’re mind is at that’s important. Rethink all the symptoms you find to be negative, and try to put a positive spin on it. Then judge.
I think RRARF needs a lot of trouble shooting, but that what our interactions will produce. Some things I think are worse are definitely my yeast issues, and thyroid (nails not growing, hair not filling in particularly in crown, out of breath easier). Every time I pull out strands of hair I got in the habit of saying with a good feeling in my heart (I think of my kids) “May four grow in your place.” I plan on seeing an endocrinologist (I have Hashimoto’s but never ‘tested’ enough to push supplemental thyroid) and would now consider Synthroid, if he can convince me it’s called for and includes a plan for when to get off of it. Matt’s helped me to not lock anything completely out anymore. Heck, I bought ‘Little Debbie’ for the first time ever on our latest car trip. Don’t think that will be a regular thing, but fine for the trip. I ‘let’ my kid buy packaged gummy treats which they ate immediately, and that day on the beach both kids got heat rashes on their genitalia and nipples. Ha! I know that stuff is crap, but am no longer ‘scared’ of it.
The most obvious benefits for me is regulating my blood pressure, sex is more enjoyable (only one position didn’t hurt- now ‘nothing’ is off limits – almost) though libido is still low, I can digest pretty much anything -though local raw milk and anything strongly fermented still gives me headaches, normal 3-day periods, full boobs and butt, and more patience and less anxiety when stuff happens though my deep sleep is dominated by ‘stressful’ dreams – a cleansing perhaps? Three months and counting though? This I believe is what’s keeping my most of my weight in residence, particularly in my belly.
As far as the not good stuff, does it really matter? Maybe I just haven’t put a positive context towards it. My chiropractor says my adjustments have been lasting very well this last year, I don’t get migraines anymore. And I get approached by men a lot more often now, probably b/c the new curves I sport. Do I need any more evidence that I’m on the right track. Yes I still read here and there to tweak as I see fit, and I do intend for my weight to come off. I believe my true size is about an 8, and at 140-145 lbs at 5 foot tall.
OK thanks for reading. I guess I needed to get all that out.
Oops. In the first sentence, I meant 5 foot tall, not size 5.
Thank you very much Lianda, this post is so important… definitely a very important reminder for me and all of us! I feel like I am making some kind of progress for the first time, in regards to my health, finally, at age 44. I feel good emotionally and physically… I also need to be reminded that the fat gain isn’t the worst thing in the world! I can deal with it while enjoying the other improvements I’m seeing. I really appreciate the compassionate post!
You learned a LOT younger than me! Congratulations. Remember, it’s a path, and sometimes we take a short detour, and then remind ourselves to get back on course, and be kind to ourselves.
Thanks for your kind words-
“Trust the process”. Well, how many times have I heard that one from people who tell me that I need to “wait” or that any side-effects are my body “detoxing”? Why should I “trust the process” beyond a reasonable point? There is much good in “eat the food” for a certain group of people, i.e. those who have a history of severely restricting their diet. However, one shouldn’t think that it works in all cases. I know several people who HAVE gained weight and haven’t experienced any benefits. Sorry, there is no one-size-fits-all. This may work for you. Give it some time, for sure. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t make it another procrustean bed that you have to fit yourself into. I am afraid this article offers a lot of soothing words that might lull people into believing that they have finally found “The Solution”. There is no “The Solution”. It might work for you. It might not. Nobody wants to hear that. You want to hear that it will work for you, 100 percent guarantee.
This is exactly why I always try to point out to people on this site that refeeding is only for the undernourished, the dieting, the starving. Otherwise, people need to work on the other, equally important side (which Matt talks about, and is what Lianda is emphasizing), which is sleep, stress reduction, eating good food, working through emotional issues, getting to a happy place in life. And anyone refeeding will need to look at these areas, too. Otherwise, someone will likely just gain with no benefits. I think Matt should really emphasize this in the guidelines.
When I was recovering from my ED, my therapist kept telling me, don’t focus so much on the food (other than eating!) – we didn’t focus on food details in the sessions. She always said, let’s worry about what’s going on with your emotional state, not food or weight, and the food will work itself out. It did. (I will note, that I was working with a nutritionist to be sure I got enough food – you can’t be starving or you won’t work through anything well)
People just gaining weight with no benefits is very rare. And eating more food is not just a therapy for the starving. You might think that with your limited experience with it and working with others with a wide spectrum of health problems. And you’re right that it works best and in the most straightforward way for those who have intentionally starved themselves. But it has other applications and your statements are way too stereotyped. Each person’s situation and what they respond to is highly unique. Generalizations often can’t be made. At least not generalizations that firm.
Not trying to take away from what you’re doing, Matt. You are obviously familiar with all the cases you’ve worked with directly on this site. And you’re right that firm generalizations can’t be made. Maybe there are people that can just eat the food and be ok from that, and I’m sure that some people don’t realize they are under-nourished. But for other people, there may be unnecessary weight gain going this route, which can be emotionally painful in today’s society. I still hold that 1) diet hell and eating disorders are not reached in a vacuum, but are usually a long psychological path, and 2) if someone is trying to eat the food without addressing sleep, stress, emotional problems and happiness, I would be very surprised if they had a good outcome long-term. Happy to be proven wrong on this.
2. Sleep, stress, emotional problems, and happiness are often a result of a poor-functioning metabolism. I usually tell people to eat until they can relax and sleep and then rely a lot more on those than food once they reach that point. But again, everyone I talk to is different. Today on my phone calls I told one person to lay off the McDonald’s, and told another to stop worrying about PUFA and other factors and just eat. Another person I talked to who has been eating the most nutrient-dense diet they could for years (has her own cow, chickens, hasn’t eaten a single fast food meal in over 4 years) and her enema-dependent constipation problem cleared up after eating as many cookies and pudding as possible for the last 2 weeks. She had her first bowel movement on her own in years the morning after fearfully eating a meal at McDonald’s. She was so impressed she sent a lengthy email to Sally Fallon about me.
Today I also told a couple of people to massively increase sugar intake. One lady I told to reduce her carbohydrates. One person I told to do harder exercise. Another to avoid hard exercise. One person I told to stop refeeding because she was gaining weight with no rise in temps or improvements in her symptoms.
You get the picture. And that’s just one Tuesday of phone calls!
You are right that some people gain weight unnecessarily and/or gain weight in vain. Especially those not that familiar with refeeding and metabolism who decide to go at it all by themselves with no direction. One person I talked to today has also had many major improvements, including overcoming gluten and casein sensitivity completely. Yet he was just hanging out in his apartment avoiding his friends, up 60 pounds, fearful of undereating and overexercising (that’s an exaggeration, but it helps to get the point across… sometimes it’s a mixed bag and yes there is a big need to address the entirety of a person’s health practices and life in general). It’s the risk some people take to see if refeeding has something in store for their health problems. And there is definitely no way to say that “x” type of person or “x” disease responds well to refeeding while Y doesn’t. And then of course, there are many subtle nuances to refeeding when you actually start dealing with individuals, their tastes and preferences, history, etc.
Wow Matt, I really do need to talk to you. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore!
You may have missed in the article where I say: “And yet, the hardest thing is to accept that there is a possibility that this is not going to work. I know you don’t even want to imagine that. You may put on the weight, and it won’t go away ? that your genes, your childhood experiences, your history of abuse, neglect, humiliation, the present stress you are suffering are so deeply ingrained in your subconscious mind that only a professional therapist may be able to help you release those blocked feelings” and It makes the journey a lot easier: NO MATTER THE DESTINATION.
There are no guarantees with anything in life. But I can guarantee if you keep beating yourself up, you are going to have an unhappy life. And there are studies that show that unhappiness can shorten your life – or make you FEEL like you want a shorter life.
I hope that clarifies my view…
Thomas Seay, thankyou. That’s what I’ve been wanting to hear I think. So 180 might not be the way for me. Yet, now I feel a sense of desperation. Where to now? I gave up restricting cals and macros which felt great but not doing me any good, it seems. Where to now? What the heck do I eat now??? I mean, is it the sugar doing my health in or is it the refined carbs? OR just the amounts??? I don’t want to go back in to obsessing with these things. I feel like I followed 180 down a certain road and now I am extremely lost, more lost than where I began. I wish there had been more candid info from the start that this may not work for everyone. I have tried everything before this and have had countless therapies. Maybe I do just need to “give up” and “accept”, but it’s very hard to accept bad health.
please read “The Real Amy’s” post above.
There are no guarantees, except that being unhappy is a misery, and your body is going to react to your unhappiness. It’s not about just about what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you! And it’s a vicious cycle – that you can stop! And for MANY people calming down their chronic stress is the way to create well-being, and eventual weight loss. For others, they will create well-being, and just be accepting of themselves the way they are.
Want to learn how to do EFT tapping? Come to the webinar (see the link at the bottom of the article) and you’ll see how powerful it is to help you release the stress, and start living a life that’s not focused on what you are eating, how much you eat, when you eat, and the same with exercise. Imagine how much better that kind of life will be!
Well, I think this idea of stress causing or making problems worse can induce a feeling of more stress in a person in difficulty, so actually being given hope and being offered opportunities to move towards the light at the end of the tunnel is what I see both Matt and Liana offering in a perfectly transparent and compassionate way.
One of the reasons I started reading this blog was that I couldn’t understand why a range of foods gave me severe digestive distress at home, but I could eat with gay abandon on holidays. Stress profoundly affects the way I process EVERYTHING, not just food.
Good luck, Elocin.
IDK…it’s kinda discouraging. Your responses to various peoples concerns is to tell them to tell to sign up for your Webinar or your Strategy Session. what’s up with that? This is a red flag for me.
Many of the comments are more appropriately answered privately because of the nature of the question. I don’t want to embarrass anyone.
With regard my no cost strategy sessions – I teach a lot and answer questions in my strategy sessions, and people leave empowered. There is no hard sell; but if you want to work with me further because you believe I can help you, I obviously need to be able to feed myself by making money- just as you do for your work! (does your health practitioner give you a free half hour- or even a PAID half hour?).
I hope that helps you understand the way I deal with people: very respectfully, and fairly.
Thankyou Lianda for your positivity, I will check it out
EFT + ETF = the key to happiness?
Lianda, I won’t be able to listen in on Thursday. Any chance I can catch a recording of it?
EFT is a powerful too, and the vast majority of people who use it do benefit. As with ANYTHING there are no guarantees – but especially if you don’t try it, and practice with it. AND you do it to yourself, but only need help when you are “stuck”.
Re the webinar recording – you have to sign up now, I’m only making a recording available for a short time.
thomas and real amy – well said that it may not work for everybody, i think matt’s previous work still gets people thinking that this is a ticket to overeat. perhaps i am a bit guilty of that myself, i was confused about the whole eat salt for heat and avoid fruit, too much potassium and yet my body was craving fruit all the time. I was so anxious to get my temps up that I ate more than needed and eating chips and sweet biscuits when craving fruit. I totally disregarded stress and lack of sleep. I now just listen to my body, if i am craving fruit, I have fruit, as much as I want and no salt with that. I took away from this whole process to rest more, stress less, eat what you crave and just enough and listen to your thirst. I think that basically sums it up for me.
Thank you for the article!
For the first time in my life, I am obese.
In the last 5 years, I went from a size 4 to a size 18. I was a size 14 before I started to RRARF. My weight gain before I RRARFed had nothing to do with overfeeding. I had an eating disorder, was hardly eating carbs/calories, always doing cleanses, or yeast diets or low carb Paleo or whatever else and I still gained weight.
I’m feeling much better overall, but still have a few things to work on (like my cholesterol levels and heartburn). One thing that happened when I RRARFed, was that my dysphagia went away. Food was constantly getting stuck in my esophagus and now it doesn’t anymore. :D I’m warmer and happier now. And I can only gain weight when I STUFF myself now. If I eat the calories I need for my size and activity, I can’t gain weight at all.
I am losing weight slowly now. Slowly, ha. It seems like being in Colo + moderate walking everyday + eating to satiation (but not getting stuffed) is key for me in losing weight. And a little ice cream each night is good too (I’m starting to get tired of ice cream though). I was lifting heavy weights, but I think that was a bit too stressful on my body, so I stopped for now. When I start getting better sleep, I’ll start lifting weights, or at least doing body weight exercises. Also, listening to my binaural beats CD helps me immensely with my stress.
I still struggle with my weight gain sometimes, but it’s getting better. Many times, I really, really wish I was still petite…because I looked really, really HOT back then! Now I look big and puffy and have a harder time finding clothes. I miss the way my old self looked.
However, when I put all of that aside, and I do fun things with my kids or my family, life is less stressful and I don’t worry about what I look like anymore. I’ve been having a lot more fun lately, and it has been really good for me and my self esteem. Some days, I feel very rebellious and don’t care at all what I look like.
I still have a ways to go with my healing. I still need to get more sleep and work on stressing less. I think more sleep and relaxing more will be helpful.
My kids are going back to school in 3 1/2 weeks and for the first time, both of them will be in school all day. Three cheers for the public school babysitting service! ;) In all seriousness, it’s going to help me immensely. I’ll have more time to sleep, relax and do empowering things for myself. My husband is super busy and I rarely have time to myself.
It sounds like you’re on the path to full recovery- especially when you are doing fun things with your kids/family. And with school taking over, you ALSO have the opportunity to start finding and living a purpose outside of your “YOUniverse”.
I bet, when you find how you can contribute with your skills, talents and joys to someone who will appreciate YOU (and not be thinking about your body) that life will open up even more; sleep and relaxation will come easier. (even if it’s not paid work, but volunteer work- it still shows YOU your value resides in your heart and mind).
The last few years have been very interesting. I’m learning more to not let my weight determine my worth. It’s still hard, but most days are fine. It’s very, very good to get out of the house and do something though…go to the library, on a walk, splash pad, swimming pool, etc. Some of the most awesome people I know are overweight or obese – they’re very, very cool people! :)
I might volunteer a bit later on, but focus on rest and relaxation first.
I resell on Amazon for my work, and being able to get shipments done during the day without the kids at home will be super-nice. Plus I can get my Amazon shopping done during the day too! Win-win. :D Usually, I have to do this at night, when I’m tired.
Cooking? Cleaning? Food shopping? Any of that ring a bell?
A friend of mine recommended this site to me; I’m glad she did!
As I read through this article, I read this paragraph:
“You may or may not believe in the Law Of Attraction, but this could not be a more obvious case in point. You focus on what you can’t eat, because you don’t want to get fat, and what happens? You put on the weight you struggled to avoid. Furthermore, brain science corroborates this experience. Your habitual thoughts create powerful neural networks that are very hard to break through. But it CAN be done ? no matter your age.”
Talk about a “V8” moment!!!
MelissaB- glad you “positively” liked the article!
REBT is also very helpful to stop eating for emotional reasons, or in spite of them (stress) without adding guilt to the eating….which helps you stop a binge before you make yourself sick or sick of yourself. To calm yourself when your body image doesn’t match the mirror or clothing size or agility desired. To stop kicking yourself for being human…and to sort out reality from someone else’s attempts to control you.
It requires you ask yourself a few simple questions (in silence or on paper) to determine if your thinking is rational or emotional or just old mental tapes that someone else inserted in early life or through media. No tapping involved.,,,no need to remove yourself to another room to sort thoughts out or risk have onlookers think….whatever they might think.
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy named by Dr. Albert Ellis. He authored several books. I love this title: How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything. http://www.amazon.com/Stubbornly-Refuse-Yourself-Miserable-Anything/dp/0818404566/ref=pd_sim_sbs_b_2
Another nice book for a simple explanation and several anecdotal examples is Three Minute Therapy by Michael R Edelstein