Once you’ve gotten overweight and are unhappy with your body, things change, not only on the outside but the inside as well.
A negative body image, being angry, berating yourself, feeling ashamed and blaming yourself and your body has repercussions. It’s stressful. The way you feel is exhibited by your body. Your posture changes reflecting your lack of self esteem. Your face may also take on a sad, angry, or anxious look depending upon your feelings. Eventually you may get other dis-eases, symptoms and physical problems.
Now you’ve found 180DegreeHealth,?you have finally realized that all that deprivation, saying ?no,? over-exercising, and self-blame were not just ineffective, but actually sabotaged your ability to lose weight ? and keep it off.
As one of the older readers in the demographics of the 180 Degree group (I’m 60… ish) I’ve connected with many other women (and some men) who have punished themselves for years. We’ve tried every diet that has come along promising a miracle cure; in the way of a special food, supplement, exercise, diet plan, drink, so many other things I can’t even remember. Essentially, many of us have spent decades on a chronic diet. And each time the diet failed, we blamed our own lack of discipline, moral fiber, or some other thing that made it our fault instead of the fault of the concept of dieting.
I had just finished 4 months of the Paleo Plan when I heard Matt interviewed during the ?Paleo Summit. I paid a lot of attention because I couldn’t lose any weight, and had never been able to maintain the small weight loss I had made. I felt pretty miserable at yet another failure. I had to listen to Matt’s interview a few times before I felt convinced I was hearing something real, and important to my situation. I was not at fault; dieting was the cause.
But for many of us baby boomers, who grew up with Jane Fonda, Atkins, and all those other failed strategies, reversing our starvation and re-feeding ourselves is scary. We’ve heard how your metabolism slows down as you age. We’ve fallen for the ?heart healthy? low fat foods, and fearing sugar because it’s going to cause diabetes or age us (Now we know that THEY were wrong!). We’ve been working hard to make ourselves healthy, and eating not just for weight loss, but for health. Because honestly, when you’re older, you KNOW that NOW counts. It’s not that unusual to hear of our contemporaries dying of cancer, heart disease, complications of diabetes and other illnesses in this age range and older. We have to take care of this problem right away, and don’t have the benefit of lots of decades ahead to assure our health in our ?old age.
So?departing from the??eat less, exercise more? paradigm takes a leap of faith. It takes a new trust that was missing from our psyche: trusting your body (Interestingly, both Hannah and I sent a post in with?an almost identical’title?on the same?day?- and Matt originally attempted to call his business “The Body Trust” back in 2005… there must be an important theme here!). All of our lives, we tried to control ourselves, our appetites, our thirst. Eating less, drinking more (water), avoiding foods we enjoyed… denying ourselves was a way of life. I think of all of the foods I avoided, the Birthday cake celebrations that I said ?no? to, and what did it get me? Just what I was trying to avoid -?fat.
You may or may not believe in the Law Of Attraction, but this could not be a more obvious case in point. You focus on what you can’t eat, because you don’t want to get fat, and what happens? You put on the weight you struggled to avoid. Furthermore, brain science corroborates this experience. Your habitual thoughts create powerful neural networks that are very hard to break through. But it CAN be done ? no matter your age.
To achieve your weight loss goal, you must learn, despite the fear of putting on MORE weight by re-feeding yourself, and eating more often, to trust the process. The process is working WITH your body; mindfully nurturing yourself with food. Vanquishing the fear of getting even heavier is not an easy issue when you are already substantially overweight.
Dealing with the continued criticism of family members and friends (who don’t and never had weight issues) telling you that you are eating too much, or you should try this new diet they just heard about. Then there’s the problem of managing your own fear of what happens if THIS TOO, doesn’t work.
This is where Trust comes in. It’s important to understand that your body KNOWS and responds to your conflicted feelings. This is stressful. And while you are experiencing stress, re-feeding, although feeding your body, is still emotionally stressful. You MUST address your conflicted feelings so that you can continue the process to the end. Many people stop right before they are turning the corner- when they’re at ?179 Degrees? and just about to make their breakthrough!
Many of my clients are ready to give up when the weight starts coming on. When you already feel squished into your jeans, you don’t want to go to the store and buy a larger size! It can be terrifying. That fear sabotages the process. It’s time to use EFT tapping, or other Energy Psychology techniques including visualization, Heart Rate variability exercises, and more’to calm yourself. You must learn to accept yourself where you are.
And yet, the hardest thing is to accept that there is a possibility that this is not going to work. I know you don’t even want to imagine that. You may put on the weight, and it won’t go away – that your genes, your childhood experiences, your history of abuse, neglect, humiliation, the present stress you are suffering are so deeply ingrained in your subconscious mind that only a professional therapist may be able to help you release those blocked feelings.
Let It Be.
But an amazing thing comes with acceptance. Whereas people say they have to ?fight? disease, it’s often the ?acceptance? of the disease, the consequences, and giving up the fight that allows the mind and body to heal. Spontaneous remissions from cancer are often reported when the mind and emotions have reached acceptance. Research has found that the most effective prayer is: ?Thy Will Be Done? ? NOT asking for a specific outcome!
When I use EFT tapping with my clients, it’s acceptance, and forgiving yourself, that helps so many people. After a lifetime of these heavy feelings, one woman described the change as a ?lightening? of her load. It’s my belief, that the words that you use create your reality. Trust the process, trust yourself, and accept your body with gratitude and love. It makes the journey a lot easier, no matter the destination.
Lianda Ludwig will be hosting a live Webinar July 25 3pm Pacific time/6pm Eastern time. You can register for that?HERE. She also offers free one-on-one initial consultations via phone or Skype through the 180DegreeHealth Get Help Program HERE.