By Matt Stone
The other day I was straining some pasta. My strainer, a fancy chinois that I have?had for about a decade now, lives up in?a small cabinet (from now on referred to as a CARBinet… Thanks Batty!)?above the microwave. I reached up there and opened the carbinet to grab it. As I took hold of the handle I saw, lurking behind it, my tin of Great Lakes Collagen Hydrolysate. I immediately thought, “I should start consuming more of that.”
Ladies and gents, this is the Wheaties Effect.
Ten days?ago I posted an eating disorder follow up with pictures of a ripped and beastly young guy who has physically recovered from his past overzealous and?misguided?health and body composition pursuits. In that post he mentions consuming wild quantities of gelatin and claims that was one of his keys to success.While I thought it sounded absolutely ridiculous at the time, it still managed to wiggle its way into my brain and affect me.
It made me think about how vulnerable our minds really are to’the whims of what other people are eating, the supplements they are taking, the therapies they are trying, the exercise routines they are implementing… All that stuff. Especially when that person seems to possess something you don’t, or appears to be having success that you are not.
There’s really no solution for this. Our human brains are wired to be impressionable, and to be affected by the information, images, and ideas they’re exposed to.That will never go away. But I thought it was worth taking a little time to help make us all a little mindful of how gullible and irrational we really are. I still suffer from great moments of irrationality when it comes to health just like anyone else. However, it has taken me over?25 years, dating back to about the time I bought my first pair of Sky Jordan shoes, to at least recognize it and not take it very seriously.
Wheaties and Sky Jordans have done little to make me superhuman.Taking?multivitamins and vegetarianism and walking great distances and?juice feasting and milk fasts and all-meat diets haven’t either. One thing they all had in common was starting out as?a na’ve dream about somehow being greater than I am.
The next time you hear someone talking about a new breakthrough or miracle, no matter how “bulletproof” and exciting it sounds, take a moment to think of a box of Wheaties.Better yet, picture me on a box of cereal. No it’s not Life cereal that made me such a cold-blooded gangsta. I was just born with it Holmes. But you’re still going to go buy some.
How has the Wheaties Effect gotten you lately? What has the Wheaties Effect mysteriously placed in your carbinets?