I’m sorry if I come across as combative. I’m actually mad at myself because I sometimes have a tough time with worries about everything and my nerves are tight. I know that I fair best when I just eat when hungry. Not dieting nor stuffing myself. But, because it is such relief to eat a lot, I might look for permission/opportunity. Just like alcohol brings relief to a tightly wound, overworked individual. Never had a problem with booze or drugs thank god. But I know that I need to work on my inner life and on relaxing/surrendering instead of tensing in order to be free of needing to eat lots, gaining weight. Food can be used as a drug like anything else. It’s the dosage that makes the poison.
I can really eat whatever I want and stay slim if I don’t eat beyond satiation-never to fullness. I’m not eating disordered. It’s more about being healthy and energetic, working on the real issue versus chubby, lethargic and anesthetized from my feelings.